I've noticed something odd about telling people I've had WLS
I TOTALLY understand this feeling! I guess- I think I don't want the man to picture me overweight- just the size I am now. Men are so visual! And all my life men always made me feel the worse about my weight- "no one wants the fat girl" mentality they drilled in my head.
In the beginning I was very reluctant to tell men- now I'm like whatever! I was dating a man and I was telling him about my parents- they died young- and he kinda out of no wear asked- "So when did you have weight loss surgery?" and I was totally thrown off- I was like HUH? and he was like C'mon I can tell. I panicked but than just told him- and he was totally supportive and could of cared less that I used to be heavy. ACTUALLY he wound up getting involved with a girl larger than me- which hurt BC I was like HEY! When I was fat the guy's didn't want me- now I'm skinny and they want the fat girl! ARRRGG! But I moved on to bigger and better men! :)
In the beginning I was very reluctant to tell men- now I'm like whatever! I was dating a man and I was telling him about my parents- they died young- and he kinda out of no wear asked- "So when did you have weight loss surgery?" and I was totally thrown off- I was like HUH? and he was like C'mon I can tell. I panicked but than just told him- and he was totally supportive and could of cared less that I used to be heavy. ACTUALLY he wound up getting involved with a girl larger than me- which hurt BC I was like HEY! When I was fat the guy's didn't want me- now I'm skinny and they want the fat girl! ARRRGG! But I moved on to bigger and better men! :)
Generally, I find that men are easier to talk to about almost anything. Outside of my inner circle, I'm hesistant to tell women anything they could use as gossip fodder. The men I've told have said things like, "You're so brave." The woman outside my closest friends have sometimes gone the old, "must be nice to do it the easy way" route.
YMMV, and I'm not really talking about men who are potential partners--I have a guy, at least until my butt disappears. He's complaining a lot, but if he doesn't like me thinner, then he can go find a new booty. FWIW, someone wants the fat girl, but that same someone may not want the thin one!
Not sure I've helped at all. I guess I'm saying that you're not alone.
YMMV, and I'm not really talking about men who are potential partners--I have a guy, at least until my butt disappears. He's complaining a lot, but if he doesn't like me thinner, then he can go find a new booty. FWIW, someone wants the fat girl, but that same someone may not want the thin one!
Not sure I've helped at all. I guess I'm saying that you're not alone.
my guy friends have been more supportive than my women friends. But they are gay so maybe that has something to do with it.
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Surgery 10/15/12 - HW-263lbs GW-150lbs CW- 170.8
I find Men to much more supportive than women that I know in real-life. Women are gossipy "one-uppers" that put each other down to boost their own morale. I tend to shy away from women as close friends because I don't trust them. (been burned one too many times I guess!)
But I can see not wanting to tell men about WLS in fear of judgment. I bet they'd be accepting though, more so than females!
But I can see not wanting to tell men about WLS in fear of judgment. I bet they'd be accepting though, more so than females!
Goingforit1, I'm exactly the same way about having women friends, and I'm a woman! They are catty and gossip all of the time and just generally self-absorbed. My friends are guys and they are much more laid back! I steer clear of other women 9 times out of 10. No way I would tell a woman that I had weight loss surgery :-)
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