OT: Son at new school/need advice

My oldest son has just started public high school after being in private school for the past four years. He just finished his second day and he is having a rough time. He plays football and is in pre-AP classes, but he is catching a lot of hell because he says yes ma'am/no ma'am (I realize that is not done in some parts of the country, but in Texas it is considered good manners). Apparently, this makes him a "suck up," according to his classmates. Today he was spit on because of it.  We raised him to have good manners and to say ma'am and sir.  He says it to waitresses, clerks, everyone.

We knew this could be a rough transition and hoped football would help him meet people. The next "problem" is that he is extremely bright and the minute he starts outscoring these kids, the issue is going to become even worse.

I'm going to call the school and see if his schedule can be arranged to get away from the one kid that is giving him hell. I'm totallys stressed about this and don't know how to handle it.. He is getting older and I certainly don't want to fight his battles for him, but I also want to make this easier on him if possible.

What grade is he in?

I teach high schoolers. There are federal laws that protect students from bullying.

My advice, from a teacher's standpoint, is to encourage your son to talk to a teacher he trusts or a counselor. Let him take control of the situation as much as possible, but remind him that you will be happy to help where ever he needs you.

I think it's great that he has manners. I wish more of our high school students did!

He is a 9th grader and doesn't really know anyone yet. He just doesn't have a relationship with any of the adults yet to talk to them.

I was a high school teacher for a couple of decades and I'm trying to give hin advice on how to handle situations, but I'm his mom--what do I know? So far, he's just been ignoring it, but I know him and he wears his emotions on his sleeve. I'm sure it's quite obvious that they are getting under his skin. I just want his transition to be as smooth as possible.

That's tough.  9th grade can be a hard year anyways.

I hope he finds his way through this soon... if you think it'll help, tell him that a friend of yours who is also a teacher (and a young one... I'm not even 30 yet lol) says that he needs to find a teacher to talk to about this.  In fact, most of my students are 9th graders, so I deal with this kind of thing pretty regularly.

Not that any of this makes me an expert by any stretch... but I really am pulling for him here.  I hate seeing kids struggle with this kind of thing.

Put him in karate (or any martial art).

It'll be the best money you've ever paid. Your son will thank you.

Both of my kids are in karate, and they know very well how to defend themselves against bullies.