Feel like crap

 I went to a Birthday Party yesterday and by the time I went to bed last night I really felt like crap.  I got dressed to go wearing my new smaller sized clothes and feeling GREAT.  I got told by one friend that I was "twitchy" -- The  explanation was didn't sit still.  That was true, because I was up and moving around..........because I don't weigh what I did and don't need to just sit.  Then I got a text saying that I needed to stop losing weight -- you look old and tired.  I thought I looked good.  I was told you are just eyes no face.........hell no, no more puffy fat face....true. I won't even get in to the judgements about what I was eating.  And BTW these people are the people I have been "friends" with for years and years!!  Damn.  Oh and it was suggested that I am turning anorexic!!  **** I weigh 189 pounds................................hardly anorexic..............but compared to 328 pounds........well I am OCD about what I eat................but aren't most of us.  They made me feel like **** and it's continued today.  Thanks for letting me vent.

So sorry you had that experience. I guess it is hard for others to accept our changing bodies as it is for us, especially at our age. I know you are usually am "up" person, so I know you'll be fine but today it is dreary and damp here in NE Ohio - so I can understand a little "down" feeling. I think you have done great - I only hope to do as well. Hope you are "up" again soon.

Paula

Hehehehe,people are jealous!

They will get over themselves in time when they get use to the new you!

Remember,you look so much "better" now that it makes them feel uncomfortable,especially if they are lees than perfect!

Ignore,ignore,ignore!

Sounds like jealousy to me!!!!

Oh I'm sorry, that's so unfair and really just mean.

I too have gotten some of those comments. My own mother told me my face is now "uninteresting". What the hell does that even mean? Lol I apparently have "Madonna arms" and I am obviously in need of help so I don't get anorexic.

You know what? That's their issue not mine. Some of its jealousy, some of it is ignorance, and some of it is genuine concern. I just take it in stride, look in the mirror and see how far I've come, and dismiss their comments. Admittedly sometimes I fume for a bit, lick my wounds, but at the end of the day I know my reality before and now, that's what's important.

Sometimes our success is harder for other people than it is for us. I've had a few people tell me that I need to stop losing. I tell them that I'm 5'2", 156 and wearing a size 14 (getting baggy thank goodness) and they go "oh." They never tell people who have always been skiiny that they are too skinny.  I've never heard anyone tell my skinny sister-in-law that she was "too skinny."

The dysmorphia that many of us have happens to them too. We shrink in front of their eyes and they freak out.

Honestly, I think your friends are just trying to have your back, although they are being really stupid about how they are going about it.

IMO, it's time to set up some rules and guidelines about what you will and won't talk about. Tell them not to bother texting you about your weight, food, or clothing, fat, etc. You are not available for those texts. Tell them to keep the **** about you being too skinny in their brains.

You are not a topic of conversation. You are not going to justify getting healthy to them or anyone.

Then, wait and see which ones stay your friend.

Fantastic job on your weight loss.

Hi Olderbutwiser

I'm so sorry your "friends" are treating you this way.  It's so wrong and hurtful.  You have done an amazing job and you're talking back your life and making your body healthy.  THAT is what is important.  What others think shouldn't be your concern.  That anyone would text you and say ignorant things to your face.....well, just horrible.

I know when I told about my surgery, every single one of my friends said "Oh, you're doing it the easy way" and that told me more about them than anything.  Most of them are overweight, obese, some even more so than I am.  I've tried to explain how NOT easy this is, but no one believes me.  And I won't even tell you how dreadful my own mother and husband have been about this.  Losing 52 pounds since surgery 3.5 months ago has drawn not one single compliment.  If it were not for OH and MFP, I would have no daily support.  I do have a few friends living quite a distance, so we e-mail and they have been supportive, but otherwise, nada from anyone close to me.  It makes me sad..........but now I know who I can put my trust in.

I hope your friends are just having a difficult time getting used to the new you and that they will come around and see that what you have done for yourself is as wonderful as it really is.

Feeling like **** because of others is definitely unpleasant, but if we let others influence us that way, we lose and end up with THEIR baggage.  Try to let it go and know that we are here for you whenever you need us.

Congratulations on the superb job you've done thus far and continued success for the future!

Ree

 Total jealousy.  I can admit that I get very jealous of those who lose weight, but I certainly would not say something negative to them.  

 When you lose weight like that..you change from "my fat friend" which gives some people a feeling of superiority to "my friend who looks as good as me" and that can be threatening for some people.
You can't let that bother you.  You are doing what is good for you and if in the process you identify the negative friends then its an added bonus :)

Nathalie

 
I can't believe that people can be so mean! I don't know HOW I'll react if someone is so uncouth to me.  I am going to have to give this some serious thought so I'll  have a clever comeback.