Change my goal?

I was at the Dr last week for a prescription and after telling me I look wonderful he asked what my goal weight is. I said 150 (a number i'd snatched out of thin air when registering on here) and he frowned. Thinking that maybe I'm not tough enough on myself I added that I might change that to 135 down the road - my so-called ideal weight. He frowned again and said he'd like to see me aim for 180. Now I'm feeling a bit confused.

He did seem happier when I explained to his assistant that I'm not actually looking at 150, but rather 206 (wedding day 31 years ago) then 203 (100# even) then 199 (onederland) etc. Even 180 has significance, since that's what I weighed when I met my husband 32 years ago.

So I need to decide - do I change my goal to 180 with the option of revising downward if I feel I'm not done when I get there? Leave it at 150 and feel like a failure if I don't get there? If it makes a difference, I'm 56 and started gaining weight at 13 - have been severely obese for over 35 years. I've already got rid of the BP meds, statin and pain meds I used to live on and my blood sugar is perfect - no more reactive hypoglycaemia.

Go for the 150! At 180 you are still in the obese category. Its doable. Might take a wee bit longer, but doable. Go for it. Doc is being conservative. You can do it.

It'll likely take more than a wee while longer, but I get your point. Right now my Dr is thrilled that I'm past his original goal for me of 100 kilos. (220#) I won't see him again for 3-4 months and it'd be pretty cool to be close to or past his current goal for me - and on my way to my next mini goal.

As I told his assistant - we'll all know when I get where I'm supposed to be.

I personally set a goal weight that was at the top of the "normal" range for BMI.  Which of course is strange as I think the BMI number is garbage.  Man or woman, body builder or "90 lb weakling" of the same height and weight have the same BMI.  

Once I reached that goal weight of 155 I then decided that an exact weight was useless as weights can fluctuate.  So I did a 5 pound range and said anything between 155 and 150 would work but I wanted to be at the bottom of that range.  I got there.  I decided to try to loose more.  I picked a number based on the answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything by Douglas Adams in the Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy Trilogy.  A supercomputer was asked what the meaning of life, the universe, and everything was.  After an extremely long time period ... thousands of years ... the answer was 42.  I then planned on my goal weight being 142.  So I came up with a new range of 142 - 150.  I was 146 a week prior to Thanksgiving and a week after I finally had a chance to weigh myself and came out at 140.  I can't imagine how I spent a few days not eating totally on plan and still loose 6 pounds in a 2 week period.  

The odd part is that people say I look too thin and I am in agreement.  So a new leg of my journey has begun.  Yet another re-examination of what a good weight will be.  I am now thinking that I might go back to the 150  - 155 range.  The hard part is that I now have to gain back some weight and do so without eating trigger foods or otherwise unhealthy foods.  It would be easy to just take some time off and eat junk food but then I would have to break that habit eventually.  I have no doubt I could do it but don't really want to take any chances.  The challenge is trying to figure out how to increase my weight and stop loosing.  I can see that this new maintenance phase is going to be very challenging.  I am used to about 700 calories per day.  Does 1000 calories put weight back on?  Will it take 1200 or 1500 to gain weight?  But now I am off topic ... sorry about that.

Summary is that keep your first goal.  It gives you a number to shoot with.  Once there, rethink things.  How do you feel?  How do you look? You will know at that point if you want to continue loosing or not.  It's interesting ... my psychologist had this surgery as well and she choose to stop loosing at a weight that is considered overweight.  She is very happy being a little overweight.  The way my face looks I want more weight in my face.  And my arms, and my butt, and my legs.  I think that I am looking a little too thin in most places.  Either way there is no reason to set a number and believe that's what you should do and where you should be.  You will know when you get there.  You also will likely have comments from friends and family that will guide those decisions a little.  Be careful that you trust these opinions and that they aren't coming from a friend that's jealous.

Good luck.

I chose the weight my husband had told me would be comfortable to have me sit on his lap. Lol I like the idea of a 5# range rather than a set number. With a range you can eat more flexibly as long as you roll it back any time you get to the top of your chosen range.

Part of my concern with his suggested 180# is that if I want plastics down the road most plastic surgeons want you under a BMI of 30, which is 165# for me. Our provincial health care system will pay for a panniculectomy and breast reduction at that point, and looking at myself in the mirror now - I'm pretty sure I'll want both of those. I'd have to pay the difference if I want anything else done, but having those covered is huge.

I love your Hitchhiker's Guide reference - and 142# is my lowest adult weight. I have a picture of myself at that weight and feel sad that I thought I was fat...

To gain without eating crap - now that's a challenge, isn't it? I eat bread, rice and pasta, which lots don't during the losing phase, but only whole grain, high fibre, which means my servings are VERY small. ("Full" = reflux for me) I'd probably be looking at healthy fats to increase calories without compromising nutrition or increasing portions to a point of discomfort.

Whenever I read posts about goal weight I am intrigued by people's focus on it. Mostly, I think a particular weight is just a guide - as pointed out above, depending on body type, amount of muscle, etc.

Additionally, my PCP says that regarding what is a healthy weight, it depends on where the fat sits on your body. She showed me my X-ray that indicates I have no fat around my organs. If I did , it would be very important for me to get every bit of that fat off. Since my fat sits in my legs, she said from a health perspective I can carry more.

Of course I know she was trying to prepare me for in case my body stops losing long before I hit goal. Several years ago I lost 140 lbs then my body just stopped. I was still 50 lbs overweight but nothing, and I mean nothing, would get it started again. She wants me to realize that as resistant as my body is to weight loss, there may be a reality I can't change.

Yeah, I have many goals related to weight loss, but my final goal will have to wait.

I carry the bulk of my excess between waist and knees, which is probably why I was able to get off the drugs with a fairly modest weight loss.

Years ago I read an article about weight loss that gave an interesting goal. "The weight where if a child was shown a picture of a group of people and told to pick the fat one - I wasn't the one chosen." I have no interest in being Barbie, but rather to be able to do whatever I want without my weight interfering in any way. I'm not there, and I don't think 180 is there either. I assume I'll recognise it when I arrive.

5'3" and 180 lb. I don't think I would be happy with that weight. I wonder how the dr come up with that? Did you ask? I do agree with you about the significance of of no BP meds, statin meds and perfect blood sugar. Those things are all fantastic. I am so happy for you. You want to keep it that way. One way to help continuing on that course is to not be obese. I am 5'2" and am 165 lb right now. I definitely want to lose more. One thing I would consider is how you feel as you lose. You will know where you feel the best and the most healthy. Doctors don't always have a good grasp on weight goals. There is probably a range, not a specific number, that is good for you. You will find it. Keep up the good work.  

I agree that it's higher than I'm happy about, but I guess I'll know better as I get closer. My goals tend to be more about what I'm able to do rather than what the scale says. Last time I weighed 180 I was not able to do all I want. That may have changed, but I doubt it.

Thanks for the encouragement.

I think the doctor bases it on 60% EWL or something, that's the "success" number for them. I'm 5'6" and starting at 375, my doctor's goal weight was 250. Pshaw. That was nearly 75 pounds ago. LOL :)

I think you can do whatever you put your mind to. You are smart to keep small goals in mind. I had these weird little goals (still do) along the way "lose X pounds" but also "lose as much as my daughter weighs" etc etc. I could come up with something every five pounds or so to keep my momentum going.

Having said that, it is JUST a number, but I'm a bookkeeper and a numbers nerd so I, too, am struggling with goal weight issues, but I've decided to wait until I reach my current goal weight to figure out what to do. LOL. Procrastination FTW!