I do not like myself

I am new on this journey and it seems that I am doing everything wrong.  I can only have 1oz at a time(learned the hard way).  I am trying new things slowly and it seems to not sit well at all in my tummy.  I get foamies over everything and after I try to eat stuff it is like my spit just keeps coming and coming and then I get sick.  I have heartburn even after doubling my PPI.  This is just me but everyone around me seems to just want to eat and making my head hunger cause me to have cravings.  My family is supportive but just doesnt understand.  My boyfriend and his family are the same way.  They are bringing home pizza, mcdonalds, cooking things I cant eat.  I know they are not in my situation just upsets me.  When I start to regret doing this I have to keep telling myself that I am doing this for me to be healthy.  I am just now really seeing that I had a horrible food addiction and everything seems to be just piling up.  Ugh.  Sorry for my rant and pity party just really needed to get this off my chest.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I don't have any advice for you because I'm new too. Just keep your chin up, and focus on what you can eat. Also, think about all the good you're doing for yourself and your life. I know sometimes it's hard to stay positive, but I feel like that's a crucial part of our new life.

I am sorry that you are not happy with your decision to have surgery. Since it doesn't seem that you are getting support at home, are you going to any support groups where you can get support from friends who are going through the same issues you are? I think that it is important to not hang on to food as a reward or a comfort. Think of it as nurishment. If  you track everything you eat and make sure you get all of your protein in (at least 80 or 90 grams per day), keep your carbs under 40 and fats under 30 you will really feel better. Eating carbs will make you crave them even more and it's a vicious cycle. Focus only on what is necessary to lose the excess weight and get healthy and let the past go. You will learn to be happy with yourself and proud of your accomplishments. Thin feels so much better than anything you eat. Good luck and find a good support group so you have friends that know what you are going through. 

I am going to look into the support group. I think being with all these people who dont know what I am going through is making me feel alone. I dont always regret my decision just been having more bad days then good. My good days I love that I did it. I just feel so moody all the time and everything upsets me.

Hang in there baby!  This is definitely harder than it sounds!  The food we can't have, the smell of the food we can't have --sometimes it just sucks, no two ways about it. It does get better and easier, I promise!  Try not to worry about things like grams of protein right now. And. BE NICE TO YOURSELF!!!!  Sending (((((hugs)))))))

Thanks! I appreciate it. I know this is a rough road to go down and I am happy I did it. I just get so down on myself.

 I Just read an article that said that people on a low carb diet are not as happy as people who eat a high carb diet. I don't know how true that is. I am extremely happy since I lost my weight and don't ever remember feeling depressed. When I started going to my support group it really helped me a lot because I have met so many amazing people and it keeps me on track. You can always reach out to people on this forum but it's so important to focus on the good and leave the past behind. Food tastes good for such a brief moment. But buying clothes that I love and look good in and actually fit is a great feeling. And as I said, exercising really makes you feel good. Just walking for 30 minutes a day will make you feel better. Love  yourself.

I am going to look for an face to face support group. I love this forum but to actually see people in front of me will help. I actually started a new workout video today and jillian micheals kicked my butt but I liked it lol. Thanks for reading my rant and helping me feel better.

(((hugs)))  Sorry you are struggling right now.  It is normal early out to only be able to get down 1 - 2 oz.  Try to eat VERY SLOWLY. Chew everything thoroughly.  When you feel full, stop.  It should help with the spit coming up.

It is tough when those around us aren't eating what we eat - but would you really want McDonalds and pizza?  If you really want pizza, you can have some low fat cheese and some sauce - you will get the flavor but not the bad stuff.  

It gets easier as you get further out - I promise!

I need to practice what I know. I really dont want the foods because I really dont feel hungry just it is in my head from pre op other people eating I must too. I think today was just a crappy day for me. A new day tomorrow! Thanks for the making me feel better.