Epiphany?

I am still pre-op, but I have resolved to be good and start really trying to lose a little weight before my surgery in February. I did pretty good yesterday. I logged all of my food and was in a calorie deficit. I knew right then that I could do it! Well, it didn't last long. I was ready to go to bed and asked my husband if he was and he like usual said no. I like to go to bed with my husband and usually wont without him unless I just can't stay up any longer. So what did I do? You got it, I moved my butt into the kitchen and made me a plate of food. A BIG plate of food. Halfway through I was beyond FULL, but I didn't stop. I ate all of it.

At first thought I attributed this to boredom. After thinking about it for maybe 2 more minutes I realized it may be more of loneliness and sadness. Go figure, I was eating my feelings!!!

Back story, if I may. My husband is recently in the last 3 years disabled from a work injury and is in almost constant pain. Due to this he doesn't sleep much and has pretty much become an insomniac. I on the other hand became the bread winner and have to be up at 6 am to get to work. Like I mentioned before, I like to go to bed with my husband. I like to fall asleep with him next to me. I kinda got used to that over the years before he had trouble sleeping. When I ask him if he is ready for bed, instead of accepting that he is not and going to bed, I try to stay up as long as possible in hopes that he will get tired and ready soon. It usually doesn't work that way, but it does occasionally. I have come to realize that is the time that I consume the most calories.

Now, here I am at work with this epiphany trying not to cry. Blegh, feelings suuuuuck!!!

Oh my what a great epiphany! I am sorry you are feeling badly, but I am really glad you saw this now. How fortunate that you have something to work on preop!
What about sharing this with your husband and asking him to lay with you until you fall asleep? Just an idea.

Proud of you, keep working on you!

I have actually mentioned it to him before, but a lot of the time he is in too much pain to even lay down. He has done that many times for me though

I think I need to work on acceptance and just go to bed or find something else to focus on.

Do you like to read? Going to bed to read instead of eating is a treat now :) Of course, I read a LOT :)

I'll also tell you that therapy has helped me. I didn't get to 375 because I was hungry, ya know?

I just got a tablet for Christmas so this is actually a perfect idea. I do have some books to catch up on and re-read!

I totally understand that! My husband goes to bed after me too and I wish we woyld go to bed together. One thing that has helped is that he sort of "tucks" me in. That may sound silly but it just gives us that quiet time when we talk about our day and hug before I drift off to sleep.

Not so silly. My partner is a night owl and is never ready for bed when I am. He works from home and does a lot at night and I'm at school during the day. He tucks me in too! Sometimes he even reads to me. :-) We all need to be nurtured, it's good for the soul.

Bella, I just wanted to send you some (((HUGS))) & I hope you feel better about all this soon!!

Awwww!! Thanks! This was a good epiphany though! It's nice to put a finger on at least a piece of the mental issues I have with food. Life is tough, but I am very blessed!

Trust me when I tell you he probably feels bad about it too. I have chronic pain myself and had to move to a separate bed in another room because I just can't handle even being bumped when I'm sleeping, it hurts SOOOO bad. I  really miss sleeping with hubby but just can't do it. I would bet your hubby feels the same. Maybe you should get one of those long bed pillows to snuggle with, then you can pretend it is him.  It's great tho that you have discovered a trigger and now that's something you can start to deal with.