To tell or not to tell...does it correlate to succes?

I am excited about my upcoming surgery and I keep going back and forth between wanting to keep it private and shouting it to the world.  I know this is a very personal decision that each one of has to make for ourselves, but I am wondering if there is any correlation between telling or not telling and higher measures of success.  I notice that the WLS veterans that I look to for inspiration on OH are very forthcoming with their stories and pictures; which I really appreciate. 

This kinda sucks for me to phrase it like this but I found that by telling people about my WLS has kept me more in check because a lot of people I knew had opinions about people gaining their weight back after WLS.  I gained a few but I am back to basics (or trying anyway) & it helps me want to prove those suckers wrong. 

Id have to agree that I definitely see a correlation -

- Owning your decision is empowering. When you are empowered, you may be more successful. Working through any shame/embarassment is a  critical part of working through the many head issues that come up during this whole process.

- By disclosing the fact, most people end up with a bigger and stronger support network than they might otherwise have. By telling others, you allow them to help you - friends/family/co workers may be more mindful in suggestions of where to eat, or foods to bring around you. It may reduce the pressure they put on you.

- There's always the social aspect - i feel like people will judge me if im walking around eating crap lol. I also feel more pressure to prove all the nay-sayers wrong who think I will gain all my weight back back.

It's really hard to keep WLS a secret in my opinion - at least from a 20 something year old that has a moderately active social/dating life. The stress of trying to come up with lots of excuses why I was eating or not eating a certain way...would have been too much.

I'm not very far out, and I'm a born over-sharer, but I find that when I tell people, they want to help me. And I'm trying to do a really difficult thing, so I could use all the help I can get.

For example, my boss knows. There are times that, if she didn't know about the surgery, she probably would have asked me to work through my lunch break or take meetings that fall during my lunch hour and eat later. But, since she knows how important it is for me to stay on schedule, she helps me defend my meal time. Or, when friends who know have my husband and me over for dinner, they go out of their way to make sleeve-friendly meals. Telling strangers has it's benefits, too. I told the sales clerk at Lane Bryant I had had WLS and needed new, cheap work pants. She helped me raid the clearance rack for the size I needed and even went hunting in the back room until she had found every pair of pants in the store that might work for me. She definitely went out of her way in a way that she hadn't if I hadn't told her about my surgery.

All of that has helped contribute to what success I've had so far :) Good luck!

I chose to tell only my inner circle of friends.  I have found over the years that people feel overwhelmingly entitled to judge and make comments about weight especially when it concerns others.  With that in mind I believe that it is nobody's business but your own unless you want to share.  I personally resent the way our society views those of us who are heavy so I did not share.

Good Luck with your decision/

I felt the same way as you. I'm getting sleeved in 3 weeks and wondered if I should tell people or keep it to myself. I know people can be judgmental and at times cruel, but I've come to find out that people like that are usually envious and I don't need them around me. My true friends will be there to support me and I should be able to talk to them about what I'm going through. It's going to be a tough journey and you need all the support you can get. You need your friends and family for support in order to get through it. It's like trying to hide a pregnancy. Wouldn't it be so much easier if everyone just knew? :)

I can tell you 100% for sure that being open about my WLS has been beneficial to my process......

I got support, encouragement and respect for taking steps to get healthy.......how can that be wrong???

But, ultimately yes it is a personal decision and people have there reasons.

But, here is some truth..... It's very hard to hide......If you told 6 people about your WLS.... you probably told 4 to many.....

You gotta keep your story straight...... most obese people don't lose 100+lbs. by jogging and skipping a few meals......

In business..... it could be looked at as lying if your telling some made up story and I would guess that most people who start out hiding it..... eventually come out about it as time goes on..... it's just making a hard task even harder.......

But again.... people will always have there reasons......and it's not wrong to not disclose...your body...your choice...

In short..... being open definitely helped me..... and I do understand that woman may be more sensitive to public/social situations with weight issues than men..... We men just consumed to much beer and pizza...... Bam Bam....

frisco

I'm not far out, but how the heck could we (hubbys sleeve coming soon!) hide our new eating from family and close friends??  Before surgery, after I got 2 negative comments (ex: I know someone who had wls and they gained it all back...who hasn't heard that one?)...we decided to keep quiet until I had the surgery.   since we go (went) out to eat all the time with family and friends, they know now.  Another, separate group of people I socialize with quite often, I decided not to say anything.  However, keeping to a half truth is helpful....they do notice the weight loss (it's mostly in my formerly very fat face LOL)...and the truth is, the surgeon found I had fatty liver disease...so, that's my thing - I have a fatty liver, and the only way to do anything about it is to lose weight.  they know my hubby is diabetic, so I'm putting him on the same high protein, low carb regime.  As someone else said, perhaps in a year or so, I'll tell them...right now, they don't feel safe to me.   Funny, I would tell a perfect stranger about my wls, if in an appropriate situation....

Weight loss is a private thing, but it's also a very public situation.

My thing was that I only told my circle of close friends and family until I hit 100 pounds lost. Then I posted a blog (look for December 2011 on beauchampfamily.com).

During those first 100 pounds, I was honest if someone outright asked me how I was losing weight or asked why I was eating so light or anything. After, I'm VERY honest.

I've not gotten any real negative comments. A few "gosh, you're doing well, my aunt gained her back after her surgery" or whatever, but that's her aunt, not me.

Being open has also allowed me to help others that had surgery or are thinking about it. And I didn't have to lie and say Richard Simmons was helping me. Because he never did before, dammit. I did it myself, I paid cash for it and I have done all the damned work. I want the credit for it.

Hey Candy.  I really enjoyed reading your blog. You have a beautiful family and the love just shines through! Your Christmas card is fantastic.