OT I need advice from teachers and parents

As many of you know, Midget Girl has had a ton of issues at her school. She has ADHD and is going through the processes for an Asperger's diagnosis. Her school has fought me to hell and back over getting an IEP or a 504 plan. Lately, her teacher has not been taking up her homework, and not entering her grades, therefore she got her first "F" on a progress report. I called to ask how she went from straight A's to an F, and the teacher told me it was because she was "preoccupied with the POSSIBILITY of jury duty", and she didn't get the grades turned in on time.

Today and yesterday, Midget Girl came home crying. Her best friend told me that the teacher is always yelling at her during class. Today's episode happened because the teacher called her lazy during library time. Midget has a hard time with chapter books because she easily forgets parts, then fails the computer tests. When she picked a book that was a grade level lower, the teacher fought with her and told her she was lazy.

THEN, she gave me a note that she was forced to write saying:

"Dear Mom and Dad,

I don't know how to be in a line at lunch. I was swinging my lunch box in the line. So, can we please practice being in a line? I did not get to go outside today.

Your Big Daughter,

SMA"

I am honestly livid. My child is nowhere near perfect, but she's TRYING her best to do everything to please her teacher and the aide. This note just seems so overboard. She was already punished by not having recess. Was it necessary to embarrass the hell out of her as well? (This was done in front of all of the other students, as well.) I get it. If she's acting up, she DOES need to be reprimanded, but this woman and her aide are constantly on her case for nothing.

Am I overreacting? I feel I should talk to the school, but have no clue how to handle this without seeming like a psycho mom. She's in the 2nd grade. Thanks everyone!

If it were my daughter I would request a meeting with the teacher and principal.  It is not acceptable for the teacher to not enter her grades.  It is also not acceptable for the teacher to yell at the students or call them lazy.  This is verbal abuse and I would be just as upset with the situation as you are. 

Let them know you want to work toward a solution and you are committed to doing your part to help your child be successful in school but the way she is being treated creates an ineffective learning environment for her.

Best of luck!

As  a parent I believe it is our duty to stand up for our children when they can't

I think you should address this problem with the principal before it gets worse

Teachers today do not know how to deal with children who may be a little different I found they wanted perfect children to teach  well as you know there are no perfect children we are all different and we learn in many ways.

I have taken many courses and served on many levels of school committees and I say fight tooth and nail for what you believe in.

good luck 

Thanks guys. I was just wondering if I was overreacting to it. I plan on scheduling a meeting with the teacher and the principal. I'm going to bring in the notes (that wasn't the first one) and everything else I have. I just need to prep myself and make sure I don't completely lose it in there.

I am a school nurse and the mom of a special needs child and in my role I am very familiar with 504's and IEP's:
Federal law says your child is eligible for a 504 based on her ADHD diagnosis- I believe the actual verbage is "a diagnosis that impedes a major life activity- one of which is LEARNING!! it can be officially diagnosed or PERCEIVED!!-if they give you a hard time tell them you are consulting the Office of Civil Rights (OCR)- they can come into the school system and audit 504's and fine them greatly for any "t" that's not crossed, etc. School systems DON'T want people auditing them- most don't have enough money to begin with and will do everything possible to avoid it!!
Any coorespondence you have with the teacher in my opinion should be via email and ALWAYS copy her principal or in person with her principal or another administrator. Be nice but firm and let them all know first thing that you are your child's advocate. Try not to get emotional in front of them- VERY hard to do, but try!! From my experience, administrators admire parents that stand up for their children and want what's best for them- just go about it the correct way. If you still don't get anywhere, contact the exceptional children's director or superintendent for your school system. Good luck!!

If the teacher wants to report to you a problem or an event that happened at school, SHE should have been the one to write you the note or send an email or a phone call. As a punishment, that sucked!
How old is your daughter? My daughter is 6 and easily qualified for an IEP based on testing done by a Sp.Pathologist who works for the school district. The testing was initiated by concerns i had and talked w/the teacher about.However, the testing took 90 days so maybe they are putting you off until next school year?
I agree, a meeting between you, the teacher and principle is a must. Your daughter should not feel bullied by her teacher.
Supporting both the teacher and your daughter is important. If we don't stand up for our own children...who will? However, your daughter should be expected to follow the class rules too. (As you stated.)It's April, they should have found a happy medium by this point!

I would be livid too. Definitely make an appointment with the principal and the teacher. Make a list before hand of your discussion points. Have your examples of inappropriate behavior set. And make sure you come away from the meeting with specific solutions / changes. And I would also schedule a follow up appointment at that time so you can touch base and make sure the things that are decided upon at the meeting occur. Good luck. Hopefully if you go in organized and calmly you will make some headway.

As a school principal and a mom I will tell you that your daughters teacher is not doing what she is required to do. Not submitting a students grades for any reason other than sudden severe illness is a dereliction of duty. A meeting with the principal is in order over this concern alone, a child can not be penalized because a teacher might have jury duty. Your concerns about your child in this class and the supports she recieves or doesn't receive needs to be addressed with your administration as well. I know the system is a little different in the USA, I am in Canada, but every child needs to have their learning needs met. Do not pass go, book an appointment tomorrow!

Thank you all! Now that I'm calming down about it, I can get my head straight on how to even begin addressing this. She's 8 years old and is now fighting off depression. She's going to be homeschooled next year through an online academy, but I will still need to go about getting her an IEP at least.

The grade issue has already been handled. The teacher told me that those grades were put in as of today. I didn't discuss the other issues over the phone with her, because I want to have my emotions in check and, like suggested, write down the key points that need to be handled.

Thank you all again! I was in a state of sheer pisstivity. No one likes to see their kids crying, especially when it's caused by an adult that she knows she can't fight or argue with.

It took 2 years to get my daughters teachers to refer her for testing. From 2nd grade until 4th I pleaded. In 4th we finally got a teacher who also thought there were issues. She has ADD and logic and perception issues. She now has a 504 plan.
I cant tell you how many fundamentals she has missed. Now as a freshman she struggles everyday even with meds.
Call the principal, the teacher and ask for a meeting. If it doesnt help call the superintendent and let them know you will show up at a board meeting. Also check on line for the rules/laws to see if you request testing if they have to follow thru legally.
It will be a lifetime fight. The plan just starts it. You have to advocate the enforcement each year when they review it and want yo drop stuff.
Sorry for the length.