Would I Eat Cardboard?

This kind of piggy backs on a previous post.  The poster said that during the weight loss phase of their plan, they would have eaten cardboard because they were so committed to losing.  I KNEW that I would do the same.  I follow my doctor's plan.  I undereat my sleeve.  I got rid of all the tempting things in my house.  I sat and watched my BF pig out on pizza, cheesesteaks, and wings without even wanting a bite.  I went to a barbecue and ate hummus.  I chew 20 times.  I drink my water.  I get my protein.  I HAVE BEEN FOCUSED!!!!

Last night I went out with my friend to celebrate her divorce (strange world we live in).  All afternoon, I scoured the menus to see what I could order that was high protein and low fat and low carbs that I could eat at 5 weeks out.  I settled on blackened tillapia (I cannot spell that dang word!).  I ordered my food and when it came the fish was dry, chewy, and tasteless.    So I was thinking to myself if food is fuel, it doesn't matter what it tastes like.  It is meeting my nutritional requirements - lots of protein, little fat, etc.  Because my displeasure was evident, my friend encouraged me to order something different.  I kept saying to myself if I'm committed to this process, it doesn't matter what this tastes like, I just need to get my protein in.  After feeling harassed by my friend, I sent the food back and ordered the mini- shrimp from the shrimp Alfredo meal instead.  I wiped and blotted the shrimp so I wasn't eating as much Alfredo sauce and I only had five little shrimp (I guess they were the size of popcorn shrimp, maybe a little larger) and I gave her the leftovers.  

Somehow, I feel that I let myself down.  That I wasn't as committed as I should be.  That I wouldn't really eat cardboard. That I'm not as focused as I thought I was.  That I will give in to temptation.   What should have been a fun night ended up being kind of disappointing.  And to reinforce it....the scale didn't move this morning.  

Just had to let that go.  I know that today is a new day and my focus has been protein and sugar free liquids.  I'm on my way.

Thanks for listening!

there is no reason to eat food that taste bad, there are plenty of go chooses , the fish must have been over cooked and I would have sent it back I eat that all the time and never got it dry and tasteless

I was never a fish eater.  I was always more of a pasta, chicken, and cheese type of girl.  I wasn't sure how it was supposed to taste, but I KNEW there was something wrong with that.  I didn't know where to go next so I tasted what my friend was having and since it was okay, I ordered that.  I know I need to have a back up plan (that doesn't include Alfredo sauce!)

OK, just to be clear, I never actually had to eat cardboard.  :) 

I think you did just fine.  I would have asked to have the chef make the shrimp without the sauce and just grill them with some lemon.  

We have to learn to ask for what we need in restaurants. The food is available and most places will make it to your specifications if you ask for a simple preparation.  

This doesn't have to be punitive, you don't need to beat yourself up.  Chalk it up to a learning experience, see what you can really learn from it, and then let it go.  Next time, apply what you have learned and this will have ended up being a plus not a minus in your journey.  Hugs to you.  Treat yourself gently, you deserve it.

LOL!  But your post really got me thinking, though.  How much would I be willing to do?  I think overall, what I ate wasn't awful, but it was a wake up call that it is so easy to go in the wrong direction.  

Your posts are very helpful (even if I don't comment on them all the time!)

thanks!

You're 5 weeks out so you may have unreasonable expectations of yourself still.  What I know at almost 2 years out and what i knew from early on is that since i could eat so little it had to be good.  It had to taste good, it had to be on plan and it had to leave me feeling satisfied and satiated.  Two ounces of food per sitting (and clearly from most of our backgrounds we have a deviant love for the stuff) four times a day is happy time.  So no I would not eat cardboard.  I did not eat it to gain weight so the chances of my eating it for the rest of my life is an unreasonable expectation.  Neither my taste buds nor brain was operated on.  For me the self flagellation has stopped since my sleeve, that includes eating crap, any type of crap, for whatever reason. 

I ate smoked salmon at a restaurant once because it was all I had room left for in my plan.  Turns out, I do not like smoked salmon.  Next evening (we were traveling), I had a turkey burger that was dry and awful.  It felt like a punishment.

I think my brain is still programmed that when I dine out, the food should taste good.  I'm a decent cook, and if I made something that went wrong or just ended up not liking a new recipe, well, that's one thing.  But if I PAY you to make my food, it should taste good, you know? 

After that trip, I think I finally decided that sometimes, food in restaurants just isn't good.  Last weekend we were traveling again.  In two different restaurants, the food was not prepared according to my instructions.  I sent it back both times.  I don't know if my brain changed or what, but I'm far more likely to insist that places meet my needs when I am the paying customer.

I'm trying to switch from Live to Eat to Eat to LIVE!  So my brain is the same way.  If I pay for it, it should be DELICIOUS!  Live and learn, right?

I'm gonna give you a "pass", I think you did well..... Elina gave you a great suggestion to just ask the chef to make you something or be specific about sauce on the side kinda thing.

Bottom line is that Elina's "cardboard" comment "lesson" stuck in your head and you learned. Keep learning and it gets easier and you will do well.....

There are  some people that will try to put peanut butter, jelly, mayo and bananas on cardboard and think there all good....

frisco

LOL!  Thanks Frisco!  This was definitely a lesson for me!