When is enough is enough...when other VSGrs obsession=mental illness

Most of you already know Im nuts...I know it too ...no worries....this post is not about ME tho! 

Do we have an obligation to new members/just post op VSGrs......to warn them and be careful of takin VSG to unhealthy extremes?  

Or are we obligated only to tell them their carbs are too high, you can do it,  up your water, exercise, you look great, your doomed to fail, regain because your bougie is too big or didn't go to our forums sponsor for a correctly made sleeve? 

What happens when a VSGr forum member 'becomes' mentally ill (Im assuming they passed the psych eval)...and are taking WLS, his/her obsession to a whole nuther extreme? It doesn't happen often...but it does happen...like right now!...Do we speak up...call em out? or wait until they look like this? 

                                         . 

 

Ive called out a pathological liar on this forum a couplea years ago......I got blocked..lmao ...no matter there...

 

but this time, in this instance, this VSGr...I really don't know IF I should speak up at the risk of  "gettin my head chopped off' , 

n not sure if playin an ostrich is something I can consiously (?) do at this point..(its BAD!!)  

.. I could use some advice right about now. on how to proceed  I don't know this person from adam, altho I have commented to posts on their unhealthy weight obsession eons ago. 

WHAT WOULD YOU NEW VSGrs DO? ...you've always helped me..when Ive been stuck on somethin...I appreciate any unstuckness (?) you can give me  

 

OK for MORE CLARIFICATION...

My question is...this VSGr is clearly SICK...anorexic ....DO I CALL HER/HIM OUT?  calling out meaning...talk about this bring it to THEIR attention..voice my concerns...tell them they need PROFESSIONAL help?.... PRIVATELY  of course duh!!!

or   Should I/we all IGNORE this person, any VSGr  who obsession with their weight crosses that line into unhealthy...self destruction

This is beyond the bobble head look...some people get when our BMI gets to unhealthy levels, .some of ya may or may not have experienced it/seen it been able to identify it in pictures (b&a)

should I tell? do I/we have an obligation to tell a VSGr this obsession is crossin a line into unhealthy  or keep it business as usual, silent, toss out the cliche of the day, pretend not to see the elephant in the room?

 

this post is not about ... how well I type  or articulate.  get over it

 

Hey! 

I have noticed about 51 people have viewed this but no one has commented....I am wondering if others are thinking the same thing as me....I don't understand really what you are akin....maybe i"m just blond, but I am confused....would you please explain a little deeper....

where did you get your pics from? 

Thanks! 

sorry amber...not makin any sense.....I'll edit my post. ...google images

I hear you darling.  I think I worry more about the extremes getting put out there with the doomed to fail message probably more than anything else on the board.  I think it creates an environment that breeds eating disorders along with a hot mess (edit) of other unhealthy eating habits.  When does a posters need for attention outweigh the needs of the newer members to hear a variety of perspectives and well-rounded information?  I can only hope that the newbies don't end up hurting themselves in those early insecure months until they have come into their own and developed the confidence and healthy eating habits that is so critical.  

 

I don't have a good answer to your questions.  I think it is very difficult for new posters to see the overall patterns clear enough to see the disguised kindly advice is really just a trojan horse.  

Now, how long until this thread gets pulled.... any bets?

" when does s posters need for attention... " this is the stuff I don't respect. This is inflammatory, derogatory and simply not nice in my opinion.

Its assuming you know their motivation. And it's for attention, not to help. You cannot be a victim of unkind posts and at the same time perpetuate unkind posts. Do you want to make peace or **** off?

Respect is a two way street. And this post had the ganged up on look... Jumping on what Carmelita is saying like you are talking about the same person.

Honestly, I don't often post..

i believe some newbies are afraid of sarcasm in responses to legitimate questions... But this is also not respectful.

Christina

Christina,

I have not singled out any specific poster, but rather made a very very general statement directed at general trends in posting.   I quite frankly am not even certain exactly which person Carmelita is concerned for specifically, as she does not specify either.  

I think you are reading too much into my post, but that is just my opinion.  If you have somebody that you think the OP is about that does not mean you should assume that it is the person Carmelita is referring to.  

When you call them out due to genuine concern it is OK.  Some do go from the addiction of food to the addiction of alcohol or even unhealthy weight loss.

I do appreciate this site more than at least one of the others I am on for the straight talk. On one other site, there is a lot of hand patting and there-thereing when someone does something silly like eat pizza on POD2. That isn't valuable!

At the same time, this pattern that we are in at the moment with all sides digging in/entrenching themselves isn't all that valuable, either.

My $.02: let's be sure to separate fact from opinion. Voice opinions with compassion. Voice facts clearly but also with compassion. Judgment has little place in the conversation.

Laurie

As a recent post-op, please do call us out. I think it is important to hear the truth even if it hurts sometimes.

Do try to be kind about it, don't be rude to anyone about how they are looking. But speak your mind!

It's our obligation to help each other out and to be truthful!

Rachel

I think this is a very valid concern.  The popular eating plan really isn't some program developed out of years of sleeve eating research, like you might believe from some posts.  It is basically the Stillman diet from the 70's.  According to Wikipedia, the diet that Karen Carpenter went on before she died from anorexia.  When you combine that with peer pressure, and the need to be accepted by the group, I can see where it could lead to an eating disorder.  I do think we all need to do better at keeping the focus on health and not so much about skinny jeans, bikinis and how how fast we can get to goal.   Those are all good things, but none of them are as important as health.  There is nothing wrong with including fruit and veggies in your plan.  You are not doomed to fail if you eat an occasional skinny cow, or if your surgeon didn't give you a teeny tiny sleeve.  I hope we all can be as healthy as possible.  Good topic!