I am having a huge mental struggle with my weight.

I have been trying to put some weight back on for over half a year and today it looked like I have put on a couple pounds.  I am still below the middle of that "normal" range but I freaked out.  My initial reaction was to jump into weight loss mode again.  

I freaked out because I put weight on and yet I have been wanting to put the weight back on.  I am really struggling with that. There is a huge conflict going on in my mind.  I know that I am still at a very healthy weight and I know that I could easily handle gaining another 7 to 10 pounds back but it goes against everything I have been working for all my life.  

Loosing weight is so ingrained on my mind that even though I know I want to add back a few pounds when I actually do add them back I get freaked out about it.  I keep thinking that I really need to drop the calories and carbs and so on.  At the same time I am really happy to have gained a couple back.  

Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.  I do realize that it is such a foreign idea for most of us to want to gain a little weight back ... how do you think you would handle that?

One of my best friends had RNY over 10 years ago & she reached a point where she felt as if she wanted to gain a few pounds back. She really struggled with it because she had been so focused on her post-op diet & she didn't want to get back into old habits. She spoke to her nutritionist & they came up with a plan for her to gain back what she wanted to, but in a way that would not really compromise her new way of life. Maybe give that  a try... I haven't had surgery yet, so I can't really relate to how you feel, but I thought maybe if you knew that you weren't the only one who felt that way, it might help... I hope everything goes well for you! Good luck!

Thank you for the thoughts.  I actually have spoken with my nutritionist and got ideas like not using the fat free sour cream or the fat free yogurts and such.  The way that I have actually made my gain was by adding peanut butter to my diet.  The all natural peanut butter made with only peanuts and salt.  With that I am getting some additional fat but it is a healthy fat so to speak.  

Anyway I appreciate the input.  I also wish you Good Luck in your future VSG if that is the route you are going that is ... lol.

Try going about this by looking at the KIND of weight you are putting on....you can do this a couple ways 

1- just eat more and through a carloie surplus, put some fat back on

or 

2 - add some muscle weight. This will requrie a good idea of the nutrition you will need a good weight training regimine, BUT - you'll be able to put the lbs on, tone up, and look better. 

I think you may be able to cope with it a little more if you could look at the scale and think "hey - i just put 3 lbs of muscle on"  (because at the end of the day, it means you can eat more in maintenance). 

piggy-backing on acbbrown's post...how about getting your body fat % done? In a water tank if possible. That way you can see what your body is doing in a way other than the scale, and the numbers are really helpful. You will know youe lean body mass and your BMR so you know how many calories you burn just existing. You can formulate a goal from there, and after that it's all in the math. Then get your body fat tested in a few months and see how you are doing. In a three month period I lost 17 pounds of fat and gained a pound of musle. I'm sort of sliding into maintenance now, I'm increasing my intake to build more muscle and continue to tone, but i cant really live by the scale any more because i'm just not in that losing mode any more. I am also feeling some of the angst that you are, but having the numbers to go by, touching base with my nutritionist and taking advice from my trainers helps calm me down and trust the process. I have to remember that eating a bit more brown rice and avacado isn't going to throw me off track, and the worst that will happen is what? i totally screw up and gain a pound of fat that i don't want? i'm not going to gain 50 lbs, it's all manageable now, right? I think this is just "living" we are trying to do. Let's both forge ahead, we'll do ok.

I agree with the above post, if you haven't had a body composition test you might want to get one done so you know your body composition. The best test for accuracy is a DXA scan, the same machine used for bone density testing. You just lay on the table and get scanned - I learned about it on this forum. Its easier to get in the right mind frame when you know exactly what you current fat percentage is. I'm also working on gaining muscle and have really had a mental block about putting on weight but now that I know where I'm at body wise it's a little easier. I will get measured again in 3 months and if there is more fat than muscle gain I do know how to lose it.



Here is just a summary of info from the DXA scan - it will go into detail on muscle vs fat in each limb along with this overall summary



Sorry, I can't seem to get the picture to show up. I will post on my profile.
http://images.obesityhelp.com/uploads/profile/1014286/albums/125405/thumbs/dxa%20scan.jpg

You've gotten a lot of good practical advice above.

The mental stuff is hard. I haven't dealt with wanting to put on more weight, but I'm sure it messed with your head. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I had a really tough time getting to goal, partially because those last pounds are tough but also just the mental stuff around getting to goal and then maintaining it. I've put on a few pounds this week and that's hard to see too, but I'm dealing with a LOT of emotional stuff right now so I'm trying to get my head back in gear. The good news is that's just a few pounds and I know what to do.

It's a cycle. Hang in there!

A dilemma I bet a few years ago you wouldn't of thought you'd have to deal with.  I have no advice for you, but wanted to tell you, you should be so proud of yourself you have helped yourself into a healthy life--and I see you on this forum helping others with your detailed answers, thank you and I wish the very best for you!