Gotta love family!

Had a family gathering on Sunday.  For the most part, it was nice.  Menu was actually pretty VSG friendly except that they put cheese IN the burgers, which I didn't realize until I took a bite of mine.  At least it was ground sirloin?  My "low carb" uncle saw me take my burger off the bun and said, "this is how I deal with that" and put 2 burgers on his bun.  Not clear on how that makes it low carb, but whatever works for him!  I make it a general rule not to offer my opinion on what others eat unless I am directly asked.

Anyhow.  People kept expressing their astonishment at my loss, which was ok at first but then got to be a bit awkward, but they'll get used to it and then I'll probably miss it, lol.

My grandmother, who is in her 90s and has Alzheimers, was lucid and understood who I was and that I'd lost weight for the first time since I began this process, so she gets some leeway in the "politeness" dept., but the first thing she said once she stopped exclaiming, "Sarah?  Sarah!  SARAH??" was, "Well, will you KEEP it off?"

LOL! 

Part of me was like, "I hope so!" and part of me was like, "Jesus, can't we just celebrate today?" 

Also, my aunt brought me a pair of literary pajama pants (I am a librarian).  She has seen me multiple times post-op and sees pictures on Facebook.  They are a size XL, so huge I couldn't even hold them up.  I just thanked her at the gathering, knowing they wouldn't fit, and tossed them in the Goodwill pile after returning home (I did try them on at home).  I don't know when she bought them, but still.  She is the one relative I think is more than a bit jealous of my loss since I am now smaller than her for the first time in my adult life and she has that kind of personality, so it's hard not to wonder if that was meant as some kind of dig or if she was just trying to be nice and thought, "Well, when she startedt these probably wouldn't have fit, so maybe they'll fit now."  I want to think the best of her but it's not my first time meeting her, you know?

I guess it takes a while for everyone to adjust, and I should probably cut them some slack.  Hopefully my Grandma's words will ring in my ears for the rest of my life and I'll stay focused on maintaining whatever my final "range" turns out to be.

Sarah - I think it's great how you dealt with all the comments.  I'm betting that a year or so ago these type of comments (or behaviors like your aunt's) would have rattled you and had you running for the carbs.  But look at you now!!  :-) 

I give you high praise not only for your excellent achievement with your WL, but also for your poise in the face of so many interesting episodes from your family gathering.  :)

As it happens I attended a baby shower for my husband's cousin on Sunday.  Loads of his female relatives were there, and 99% of them were thrilled for me, as they hadn't seen me since December, which is 116 pounds ago.  So many of them also said something like, "I'll bet you feel better, too."  Yes!  They just kept coming and coming with hugs and kisses and compliments, so happy for me.

The 1% was a cousin-by-marriage who would not talk TO me or even say hello, but I know that she was talking ABOUT me as I caught her staring at me a couple of times.  The first time she quickly looked away to another cousin-by-marriage and said something to her.  That one then looked at me, nodded vigorously, and said something back.  The second one had been complimenting me earlier and wanted to hear about my surgery and eating plan, so I can only imagine that she had positive things to say to the first one, with whom I've always had something of a problem.  That first one who is not so nice is looking frankly anorexic these days.

One of the well-meaning Italian aunts tried to sic me on one of her daughters who has put on quite a bit of weight over the past year.  I said, uh, no, it doesn't work that way.  I was happy to talk to her about nutrition and what has helped me if the daughter was open to hearing it, but she's a smart girl and probably knows what I would tell her anyway.  I'm afraid that in the future that aunt will be beating her daughter over the head with my progress.  :-/

For the first time EVER (26 years) I was not the largest person in the room with my husband's family.  You have no idea how weird that was for me.  Many were interested in what I would be eating and actually came over to see my plate, which contained a roasted chicken thigh and five string beans.  :)

Anyway, yes, gotta love family.  :)   Keep up your great work, Sarah!

I'm glad that so many people were proud of your loss. The attention can be a bit overwhelming...and this is one of those topics that I struggle with! I like that people tell me I look nice and sometimes say that they are proud of me... but I just hate it when the conversation goes on and on and on. Plus.... people that have seen me now since losing weight and know that I'm trying... continue to say something and make a big deal every time they see me lol

I'm a complete psycho when it comes to this topic... because I want for people to say, "You look great" but then just leave it at that... I don't want a huge deal to be made. BUT, I went to family function in June when I had lost about 130 lbs... and nobody on that side of the family noticed AT ALL lol and I was super bothered by it. It wasn't a matter of people noticing and not saying anything... they simply didn't notice at all! 

I have one of those aunts!  I totally get it. She's sweet to my face but boy is she known to pop off about weight comments. If someone loses weight, she makes sure to downplay it and usually mentions they are still too overweight in her opinion. This includes me too, even though I'm on the lower end of the BMI scale. I still have big boobs and I guess she thinks I should lose weight in those too :-) She's a beautiful woman and average sized, but definitely not nice about weight loss on others. I am guessing it's an insecurity issue within.

Great post Sarah !!!

Get used to it..... it goes on for quite a while.....

Grandma's rule !

WL can initiate other dialog also.....

Yesterday I was at the camera store I have been trading with for the last 40 years and talking with the owner..... we were talking about my WL, diet and both our past health issues......

Than he started talking about his wifes battle with cancer (she past 2 years ago) It was a nice conversation and a side of him I had never seen before.....

After he had left, one of his long time employees tells me that he has never heard him (the owner) talk about his wifes illness and passing to anyone.

frisco