Kinda OT: depression

I'll do that... thanks!

BTW, feel free to PM if you end up doing the med route, I've been on antidepressants for 10+ years and have been unemployed twice, so I'm happy to listen and help in anyway way I can :)

Thank you!  I may just take you up on that :)

I just looked at that link but didn't find much information about dosage... is it one pill a day?  Did you find them easy to swallow/keep down?  Thank you again for your help!

I wanna know why you don't have the same gig as last year. What happened?????? did you know this was coming????

Sounds to me like you have situational depression. Read about it. There are many non medicine/supplemental ways to get out of this type of depression.

Hugs!

D,

Long story short, the "golden child" in my former department was about to take over as department chair and didn't like me.  When we got a new superintendent who decided that the best way to fix the budget was to reduce the faculty by 30 positions, mine was conveniently one of the positions, which made absolutely no sense because I'm one of the most senior people in that department (THE most senior person who is in that department full-time and not teaching other areas as well), I'm dually certified since I have my special ed certification, ELA 6-12, and a gifted endorsement.  They "justified" their action by giving me a bogus write up a week before the public announcement that jobs were going to be cut so that they could point to the write up as reason for my being dismissed over newer people. 

I had felt like I had a target on my back for a while and was honestly ready to leave, so in some ways this was for the best... them firing me meant I qualified for unemployment for a little while and it gave me an understandable reason to be leaving (ie "my position was cut" sounds better than "I wanted to be closer to home"), but at the same time, I really struggle with a lot of anger, resentment, and a huge break in my confidence that I had worked so hard to build back up.  You would think I am certifiably crazy if you knew the things that upset me now... all of it for irrational reasons... but so many things that should be reasons that I should be happy for my friends, for example, are like a kick in the teeth right now because I'm not experiencing those same things (such as pregnancy, which we were supposed to start trying for last month and have not) thanks to my former school administrators.  To make matters worse, the one administrator who had my back in all of this ended up having to resign over the summer after he was arrested in a road range incident that involved a firearm, so I basically have no good supervisor reference from my old school.  I have worked hard and built up my reputation in my current district so that I have several people here on standby at each school who can vouch for my work ethic, etc if something comes open, but it's not the same. 

I honestly still can't talk about most of this without crying (in fact I'm tearing up just typing about it), and I've been dealing with it since April.  I've been trying to work through this on my own to no avail, and my husband and friends are undoubtedly sick of hearing about it... that's why I'm saying that I feel like I need therapy.  I have to find a way to work through this if I'm going to be fully functional again.  On some level I know just how blessed/lucky I am to be visible at all in a district where they really seem to like me so much, but I still can't seem to work past the negativity. 

I'll definitely spend some time this weekend reading up on situational depression... from the name alone, it sounds like, as usual, you are exactly right. 

Love ya!

I'm very sorry to hear that you are out of work and dealing with depression I have been there.  I urge you to seek out your local college they usually have an medical program and offer therapy sessions at very low cost here in MI it is an $10 charge per session so check that out for any of your medical/dental needs.  We tend to forget that the colleges are good resources for us in many ways.  Good luck!

Thanks!  I actually called my local university earlier today when someone else mentioned this option and got a referral list from them... not sure what having that list means, but it was just a list of area practitioners.  I'll call a few of them on Monday and see if having that list means that they offer some kind of discount or something... *fingers crossed*

If you got the list that is half the battle just give them a call and they will direct you in the clinic in your area that can help you and it will be low cost to you.  So you are on your way to healing but please do this for yourself each and everyday laugh for no reason at all and look in the mirror and say to yourself that you are (beautiful, strong, intelligent, successful and loved)   because you are all those things and more.....

LaVonne   

Thank you LaVonne :)