"You look skinny"

This is how my sister greeted me on Saturday at Thanksgiving dinner. I know I should be flattered, but this is how she greets me  each time I see her. Sometimes its that I look bigger, but it's always comment about my appearance and has been for the majority of my adult life.

What's frustrating, is that I would never dare speak in such a manner to her. Ten years ago she had RYN....and weighed 450 lbs prior to the surgery. Mind you, I never made comments to her about her weight then. She now hovers around 195 and I am proud of her success and ability to keep it off, but I would never mention her weight as my standard greeting.

This infuriates me. When she said it on Saturday I wanted to say so many things in response. I wanted to say "well I should hope so, I've lost 73 lbs," or "that should be expected being that I only eat 2 ounces of food at a time," or maybe "really? cause I'm still a heifer with about 65 lbs to lose." But I only rolled my eyes. She then get defensive about how it was a compliment.

I just want there to come a point and time where she doesn't have to mention my appearance when she sees me. We live in different states and don't see each other that often, so obviously I'm going to look different every time I see her for awhile. its so frustrating.

Sorry, just needed to rant. 

Bless your heart- Family dynamics are so hard to change, but you know what?  They can.  I think the secret is in knowing that you have all the control in your choices..And it's so much easier to control your self than trying to control your sister.  When she puts out that tired old tape--think about how you can turn it around.  Maybe just smile and "thanks, you know I'm having so much fun..(fill iwith some new activity or hobbie you've taken up)".  Your sis may not change, but you have- go there and invite her to go along.

Have you tried telling her this?  Sometimes people don't realize that they are offending you.

I wish someone would tell me I look skinny!  I've lost close to 40 lbs and nobody has noticed.

I have a sister like that. At thanksgiving she took a pic of me and told me this is a before pic and then when you have surgery you will look like me. It hurt but you have to take them for who they are.your sister mite not want you to gain anymore weight. But if it hurts you you need to talk to her. I hope you all resolve it good luck.

It does get old having people only greet me with"hi skinny" or "you're not going to lose more weight'  or the frequent "you are done losing, right"  I just smile and say thank you, knowing that a year from now, when they are used to the new me and things are not as easy for me as they are now, I will miss the constant reminders of how people are noticing my weight loss. 

Anne

It's probably her own insecurity and a control thing.

I would take it head on the next time and get it out of the way.

Most people comment on my weight when they first see me - not just family. 

Got to love the family dynamics!