My window of opportunity is getting smaller and smaller!

I am so tired of taking a back seat to everyone else.  I have been in this process since May and should be having my surgery around now, but I'm not.  My husband works in retail and can't take time off during the holidays.  Then, we get into basketball through January/February for my son and my husband's annual sales meeting in February which will have him gone for 10 days.  So I figured that March is my month to do this important thing for me.  Well, now my husband has an opportunity to step in for his District Manager and be an acting DM for 10 days in March while she is on vacation.  My husband is in the running to be promoted to DM so this is a fantastic opportunity for him.  The end of March is out because I have to coordinate and execute my Cub Scouts' Blue and Gold Banquet.  So, I figure that I have about the first week of March to have the surgery and be recovered.  lol

I also called the surgeon's to schedule my initial visit with him but the scheduling coordinator told me that the GI/Nutrition clinic has not indicated that I paid my program fee and so they couldn't schedule the appointment.  I offered to fax them my receipt of payment and was told that even if I can prove I paid it, they have to hear it from the GI/Nutrition department before they can schedule me.

 

I always half joke to my husband and son that I am a third class citizen in our house, and suddenly it doesn't feel like a joke.  Maybe I'm just not meant to have the surgery.  Feeling very discouraged at the moment.

Don't be discouraged!  Why do you have to wait for all of these things past before you have surgery.  Your recovery time will probably about 1 week.  Don't give up and do what you need to do to have this surgery.

Good luck!

Schedule the surgery and be dammed what your husband is doing.   Get someone else to take you to hospital and pick you up.   Just have all your supplies ready at home before you go for surgery.   Sounds to me like you are making excuses to put this off.  No one needs to be at the hospital.   Believe me you will not care.   This is about you so do it.

Go have the surgery ASAP.   Don't need anyone at hospital.   You will not care believe me.   Get this surgery over with and be on your way to a healthier life .

My husband wanted me to delay surgery until he was off for summer break (he's a teacher) and I refused. If I had waited until it was convenient for HIM, then I would have had to wait even longer because late June/July didn't work for me! I said screw it and scheduled for May 13th... because THIS IS THE TIME to put YOU first. Not kidding... you've got to get selfish.

My husband couldn't take off work the day that I had surgery, so I had someone else take me and bring me home. If your son is not an infant or toddler, then your husband being off work isn't necessary.

I'm not kidding... you're using Jon Gabrielsen, which means you must be having your surgery in Danville. Where do you live? If you're not too far away and I'm able to take off work, I will drive you to Danville myself!!!! 

Nikke,

how very kind of you!  You're such a sweet person.  

I was selfish as well and had to put me first.  There's never a good time to have surgery!

brandy

I agree with everyone else.  A big reason many of us are here is because we have always put ourselves last.  This is the time for you to be selfish.  Do it now!  

 

Best of luck!  I hope you get the support you need from your family.  

I agree with Mokee -if you're expecting your husband to help you in recovery, I can tell you from experience you don't need him.  I had my Niece drop me off at the hospital and pick me up the next night to drive me home, and from then on I handled my own recovery just fine.  The only help I needed was when I needed a 30 pound propane tank changed out (there is a lifting restriction), and I got my sister-in-law to do that for me!

This is too important for you to wait for someone else to be available - you mention being a third class citizen in your post; perhaps you're the one putting yourself in that position?  Be unafraid to do for yourself for a change - no one else is going to give you permission!

Hang in there - this too shall pass, but you do need to "take the bull by the horns" and wrestle that sucker to the floor first!

Megan, I know we don't know each other well, and I hope you don't take offense to what I'm about to say - but it's time for a little tough love.

Can you say with 100% certainty that you need/want surgery? Are you ready to commit to doing what it takes to get it done - and keep it done? Because if you can, I am certainly not feeling it from your post.

You have listed a litany of reasons why it's everyone else's fault that you are not having surgery. Your husband, your son, the program. Take a deep dive into your heart and determine: is this something that YOU really want? When I read your post, it strikes me that you are not totally committed to this. If you aren't, that is ok. If that's the case, I would strongly advise you NOT to have this surgery because it WILL require you to be committed to living a particular lifestyle, and that lifestyle often means making tough choices that go against the status quo. It is totally OK to say "I am not ready for this right now." Then, go on with your life and don't look back. There are many stories here about people who made that very same decision, only to come back later. And, that is totally OK. I myself first explored this in 2008. It took me till 2013 to get it done. For the first half of 2013, I had to fight with insurance through appeals for 5 months, but I did it because I wanted it that badly.

Bottom line: be clear with yourself about who owns the issue. Own the decision yourself and be OK with it. Blaming others for not having surgery when you really don't want it deep inside is only going to build resentment and regret on both sides, neither of which are healthy.

If you can answer the question with "yes" with 100% certainty, then you need to make some changes that involve putting yourself first starting today. The other posters have given you good advice about how to do this. Bottom line: if you are ready to commit, you need to be in it with both feet, know what you want and be brave enough to be assertive with EVERYONE (including hubby and son) to make sure it gets done and stays done. Again, I'm just not feeling that you're ready from your post.

Best of luck with your decision,
Laurie

Oh my dear you are meant to have this surgery but you have to put yourself first which is what I did when I had my surgery in September of 2011.  Each year my New's Year's Resolution is to continue to put myself first. If I do this, everything else just seems to fall in place.