Relationships....

I have been with my fiance' for almost 2 years and I just had the VSG surgery November 20th. This man has stuck by myside like no one else.At this point, I don't see me wanting to spend the rest of my life with anyone else.

Unfortunately, I have two cousins that had the surgery awhile ago and they both left their significant others for other people.

I don't think this will be me. I understand things happen and being healthy can change a lot of things in your life, but I love my fiance' with all of my heart.

My mother and other people have said how I am going to leave him and find someone else (as if I've settled for him. Uh...no, my fiance' is actually very attractive! And I haven't had problems attracting the opposite sex myself).

My response is: Well, I hope not, but if it happens, it happens. But I love him and I hope it doesn't.

Yet, it's almost as if they are taking bets.

Right now, I know how I feel and because of my mothers comments, I keep trying to convince her and others how much I love this man.

Is this the fate of all Weight loss patients? Do we get healthy and leave our mate because we want a brand new model to fit our rand new body?

Has anyone else experienced this?

Hi Stacy,

I'm in a relationship of 35 years, and its stronger than ever.  My husband has been totally supportive.  He's dealt with my struggles with obesity and diet for many years, and the surgery has improved things rather than increasing any stree. I think if your relationship is solid, then the WLS won't be an issue.

best of luck,

Carol

Thank you so much Carol!

This is a common topic on this site. I agree with what many people say, too:

After surgery good relationships get better, and rocky relationships get worse.  

I believe this is true. I have been happily married for over 10 years, and my getting healthier is making our relationship stronger already at only 2.5 months out. My hubby & daughter are healthy, active people already, and now I can participate more often and fully instead of being on the sidelines half the time. There are many other reasons, too, but this is a big one for me.

After surgery good relationships get better, and rocky relationships get worse.... I am going to try to remember those words exactly because I have a beautiful relationship. Thank you so much for your reply.

I sure hope things work out for you girl. Thus far my personal life has turned into a dud. I think insecurities have a play in it.

I hear that is one of the reasons relationships can end. He and I had a conversation about this before the surgery, so hopefully when as my body changes, we won't have any issues. Thank you for your reply!

Everyone's journey is different but we all have to figure out what was causing our overeating & food issues. Hopefully our significant others are supportive during this journey of weight loss & self discovery. 

That being said, my husband has been great during this journey & is my biggest cheerleader! We are closer than ever! 

Good luck to you!

I hope my fiance' and I continue to be happy and not let this change either of us. He too was and still is my cheerleader and for that I feel so blessed! The funny thing is, what caused my overeating was boredom, so now we try to go out and do more lol Thank you for your reply!

Personally I feel this happens for a few reasons. One,the person feels that they were settling and now that they have lost weight they can do better. Two, they are starting to get noticed by other men (or women) and it feels good and think they have been missing out. Third, their partner changes. The spouse of the WLS patient starts acting jealous or overly protective and ends up driving their partner away.

Like stated before a solid relationship will thrive and a rocky one will break apart. It is what it is. My relationship has not changed with my husband. He loved me beyond belief before and he loves me beyond belief now. He has always and continues to prove his love to me all the time.