HELP! Out of Control

I needed to come here to confess... and ask for advice and maybe some support. I just started this journey, I saw my nutritionist last week for the first time and I have my first consultaiton with my surgeon on March 4th. I am completely settled in my heart and in my spirit that this surgery is the right decision for me and assuming all goes well, I hope to have my sleeve done in August.

Here is the thing... I went to the nutritionist expecting to be given my pre-op diet instructions, etc. but found that will not happen until I see my surgeon in about a months time. Since finding this out, I don't know what has come over me but I feel this pressing need to EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. I have convinced myself that I have only a month left to eat all my favorite things and must therefore try to get it all in before March 4th. It's like this crazy "last supper" mentality I have developed and I hate it! I have literally been eating myself to the point of misery for the last week. I feel completely out of control and I don't know what to do...

Has anyone else experienced this pre-op? How did you get your mind back on track? 

Unlike many people on here I actually gained weight from the time I was submitted to insurance to my surgery date...as in almost 20 pounds.  The 20 pounds I lost while I was in the 3 month program for my insurance was all back on when I weighed in for surgery on that morning.

I don't really have advice because I was obviously off track.  I know it was emotional eating for me.  It was stress and being convinced that insurance was going to say no so "why bother" was a lot of my mindset.  

I guess what I'd like you to know is you aren't expected to be perfect in regard to food...and right now you don't have the sleeve as your tool.  I can only speak for myself but the sleeve really has made ALL of the difference in my attitude toward food.  So even though I considered myself out of control and hopeless it just wasn't the case.  I can do this.  I needed help and once I had that help I was able to make it work.  So just because you aren't doing it now doesn't mean you're failing.  It means you're struggling.  

My therapist suggested this when faced w/a food decision.  Look at the food and ask myself how I will feel after I eat it.  Not as I'm eating it.  But once it's gone.  If I will feel happy then go ahead and have some.  But if I'll be mad at myself or ashamed then don't take the bite.  It's hard, hard, hard before the surgery...I know it.  But it might help.

Also, does your doctor's office have support groups?  I found those VERY helpful and inspiring even pre-op.

Thanks so much for your reply Tricia... it is hard. It's just good to know someone can relate to what I am experiencing right now. I think I would benefit greatly from seeing a therapist too. As far as support groups, yes, the hospital where I am having my surgery has support groups but they are only offered on evenings when I work. I am going to look into finding a support group maybe at another practice... maybe I could join in since they are typically free?

I would definitely look around and find a group if it's possible.  Not only do they help inspire but there is a real feeling of accountability that online groups just can't offer...you can't hide in person.  :-)

Food Funerals.   I think we've all done them.  I tried to tell my brain that I'd eaten enough cheeseburgers to encircle the earth 10 times over, but it's that little demon in your head who tells you that you'll be missing out on something for the rest of your life.  It's compulsive eating and what got me into the situation with my weight in the first place.  

Does your surgeon's office have a support group?  It might help you put things into perspective.  If not, consider seeking a therapist who specializes in WLS patients.

Try to remember WHY you want to have WLS.  Bingeing won't help.  Once you're scheduled for surgery, they will put you on a pre-op diet.  Follow that and get your eating habits and mind back on track. 

 

 

 

Binge eating, that is exactly what it is. I have never heard of a food funeral but I have a pretty good idea of what it might entail. I know a support group would help a lot but as I told Tricia, the practice I am with only offers them on the evenings that I happen to work. As far as therapy, funny enough, my insurance will cover this surgery but will not cover weight loss therapy. I don't get it! I would definitely want to see a therapist that specializes in WLS patients but if I am specific in my request, my insurance will not cover it... going to have to figure out a way around that I guess.

Thanks for your response and for the encouraging words

I think a therapist who specializes in addictions would meet your needs. Your insurance should cover that therapy. The insurance wouldn't have to know that your addiction is to food.

Just a thought.

That's a great idea!! I will look into it first thing tomorrow. Thanks so much!

oh yes, therapy!  I'm a big fan of therapy, and if you think it would benefit you, it's a great idea to establish a relationship with a provider before surgery. Even if you think it wouldn't be beneficial it's worth a shot.  THis whole experience has been 1000 times more difficult emotionally than I thought it'd be. 

Also, just have to say hi--I live in CO now but own a home in Gambrills, 10 minutes from Annapolis.  I miss it every day and can't wait to move back :)

Thanks Carrie, I think I am going to give it a try. Everyone I have spoken to about therapy so far has given me really positive feedback. And YES, love the Crofton/Gambrills area! You know there is a brand new Wegmans there now?? It is amazing! When are you planning to move back to MD?