Unsupportive Spouse

Looking for comments from anyone that has a spouse that is not supportive.

I had VSG on Oct 1, 2013. I've lost 80 pounds. According to my doctor I need to lose about 15 more. My recent checkup and blood work shows everything is excellent.

My husband gripes at me constantly that I'm too thin. He constantly tries to sabotage my meal plan. It is discouraging and frustrating.

He finally admitted he's afraid I will decide to leave him.

Ironically, he had a VSG in May, 2013. However, he is eating more than before his surgery and back to drinking 4 diet Mt. Dews each day. He did well for a few months, but it didn't last long. 

I don't have any desire to eat unhealthy or over eat, even though he tries to get me to.

I'm sure others have had the same problem.

Therapy. Trying to sabotage you is big red flag and if trying to address it yourself hasn't worked, finding a mediator to help is the way to go. 

Oh wow! And he has a VSG too? That is amazing. I agree with Gwen, some joint therapy might do the trick.

I think most spouses are suportive.  I would really be lost without my husband's support.  Remind him that you are a team and that you love him.  He already said he is afraid of losing you.  Clearly he is having his own issues with his own weight loss. Did he get to his goal?  Has he regained his weight?  I agree with the others that counseling is a good way to go- you are both in trouble with his behavior.  Good luck!

Nancy

I can relate to having anunsupportive spouse.  I'm 3 months out and he told me I probably won't lose anymore weight.  He desperately needs surgery but refuses. I'm determined to succeed without his support!

Tell him..you create what you fear....

byhis actions this very well may happen..

he's either going to have to get on board with you or not..

if he doesn't exactly how long are you going to put up with his bad behavior?

if he loves you, you should in NO WAY WHATSOEVER have to feel guilty because your getting yourself healthy..

It is time to put yourself first! 

Im sorry but when I read this about grown men it really ****** me off, he's acting like a spoiled, insecure child who isn't getting enough attention...

sorry I'm being so blunt, but you shouldn't have to deal with this, if he loves you, he should be your biggest cheerleader and the fact that he had it too....

We all are on our journey solo in the end. If you get yourself mentally and physically healthy, he'll either follow or not.  He's gotta work on himself, but if you can't get him to go to therapy with you, go alone.  

Part of the struggle with obesity is learning to not allow outside influences to sabotage our good work.  You can do this, even alone - hang in there!

He is insecure and he has shared that with you.  Counseling would be great for both of you but you need it just as much as he does or you are possibly going to start sliding yourself.  You need to be strong and realize this is his problem and not yours.  You need to tell yourself, no matter what he does you are doing this for you and you are not going to let him sabotage you.  Try to find sincere ways to reassure him that you are not going anywhere.  He could possibly be falling back into his old ways to use as an excuse that you are going to leave him no matter what so it doesn't matter if he gains his weight back.