Update- life stressors

**Warning- this is a kind of depressing post... if you are already in a bad mood you may want to skip it, you won't hurt my feelings. I am not trying to get people to feel sorry for me, I am just updating people who may be wondering**

Well, a lot has happened since the last post. I'm afraid I don't have much good news to report. My grandma died on Easter sunday. Very sad, I just wanted more time- is't that what everyone wants though? Seems like there is never enough time. Anyway, she was in hospice and was very comfortable, so that's good. My mom and dad were both there so I'm relieved she wasn't alone. My last words to her were "I love you," and even though at that point she couldn't really talk, I swear she said it back. Anyway, the funeral was Friday in Florida, which is where she used to live and her husband was buried almmost 20 years ago. She was buried next to him. The service was nice, I did a reading as well as one other cousin, and my dad and one other uncle gave the eulogy. It was a beautiful day, and I think she would have liked it. It was nice to see all my cousins even though it wasn't under better cir****tances. Eating well while in Florida was tough, though. This whole past week I have been feeling very depressed and I have had a hard time focusing. I felt like I was eating a lot of bad stuff because I just didn't care, but I actually weighed myself this morning and I lost 4 pounds! Go figure. So now I am trying to get back on track, whi*****ludes starting to log again on MFP. But I did have one success- I wore a dress to the funeral that I haven't worn for almost 3 years- size 16! (I used to wear 2X in dresses/pants, now I usually wear an 18) Here is a picture if you dlike to see.

There is also still quite a lot of stuff going on with my sister. We got along ok in Florida, mostly just because I was trying to pretend things were ok for my dad's sake, but we had a huge screaming match when we got home. She just said something rude and I completely lost my cool and just snapped at her and totally unloaded. I had a huge breakdown and cried for and yelled for about 2 hours straight. I have just had it, I can't take anymore from her. My parents feel the same way, so we are trying to leave her alone for now. I know it seems dramatic but it seems like she will never talk to me again, and that just hurts so much because I don't have very many friends, and my husband tries but he doesn't really get it, so I feel all alone. I'm going to see my therapist soon, I hope she can help me. To top that off, I have about a week left of school and 2 major projects to complete. I am trying my best with those but at times, it is very hard to care and I just want to get it done. I'm making pretty good progress on them though, so I have hope. I have decided not to take a class over the summer though, and I don't even know what I'm doing next semester. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, I cant really handle more than that right now.

Goodness. I'm sorry that this has been your life these past couple of weeks! I hope things can become peaceful with your sister, even if that is the best you can manage. I have a sister as well and understand how intense those arguments can be.

School projects, while stressful, are not the most important things in life. In the end, just make sure that you've fulfilled the requirements in a professional fashion and forget the bells and whistles... THEN GO GET A PEDICURE. Just saying...

EXCELLENT idea... I love pedicures! I am long overdue for one! I bought a groupon for a massage awhile ago and booked one for the end of May... I so need one! My mscles are so tight from all the stress and I am tired of harassing poor hubby trying to get him to give me one.... lol.

Sounds like it's been a rough week.  Losing a loved one is hard and all the heightened emotions makes it unbearable at times.  Remember you are grieving and give yourself a break. Taking the summer off is a good idea.  Don't make any plans right now, it's not the time.  Be good to yourself, celebrate your grandmother and give your sister time.  I don't know your story but my sister and I didn't become friends until we were in our 40's.  Up until then we defined dysfunctional.  It took us coming together to take care of our mother through dementia and other illness for us to see what was really important in life.  

I'm very sorry for your loss and will pray for you to find peace. Michelle

Thank you. My sister and I have a strange relationship. We were very close in elementary school, and then drifted apart in high school. Now I feel like I am the only one putting any effort whatsoever into the relationship, and it gets exhausting. She has some emotional problems, and right now she is kind of pushing my whole family away, so at least I am not alone in this, even though it feels that way sometimes. The only peorson I really have to talk to right now is my hubby, and while he means well, he doesn't really get it, and I don't fault him for that, but I do get irritated with him sometimes. My whole family is going to therapy togather to see what we can do to fix things. But for now, I am just trying to back off because she has made it clear that she needs space.

I'm very sorry for your loss and your Grandma knows how much you love her, and she'll be forever in your heart. You and your family have had a very emotionally charged weekend and this can make some very bad situation occur. Your sister will come back when she ready, it may be a long time so be patient with yourself. She'll do what is right for her now, in the meantime you need to do what is right for you first!. The food thing over the week awe let it go, you know what to do for that is to get on your plan, that's easy. More importantly is to take care of you, your husband and your family life together. Much happiness, soon - Hang in there!

Thanks so much... you are exactly right The only thing left to do is back off and focus on me... I need to figure out what to do to make myself happy because I have spent the last few weeks so miserable.