I'm a FAILURE already!

So yesterday was a very stressful day for me. I'll be 3 weeks post op this Thursday. Yesterday was my 3rd post op visit with my Dr. I only lost 1.5 pounds last week and it bothers me. I've been so good! I've been sticking to the plan given to me. I've been walking an hour a day and I expected to lose more. I am down 16 pounds since surgery and I'm happy about that, but I wish I could lose weight faster. I am now on SOLID FOODS and I'm so scared! I feel like I'm going to fail at this! I feel like I'm not going to lose anymore weight! So I was grocery shopping last night and my cousin called me to ask if I could sit with her kids while she took her husband to the hospital, of course I said Yes! It was 9:45 and the kids were in bed, I was very bored. I didn't have any of my snacks there and I was feeling a bit hungry. She had diet coke in her fridge which I LOVE! that was my favorite thing to drink. I haven't had it about a month now. So I decided to see what happens if I have some. It tasted strange to me, I think because I haven't had it in a while but it wasn't bad. It did make me burp a little but not bad. Then..... I saw a bag of BBQ chips in her cabinet and I decided to try that. I had 4 chips and I feel like I could've kept going. A while later I had 2 crackers! why why WHY??? So if I was bummed yesterday after my Dr.'s visit, I'm even more depressed now! I'm a failure already! I'm so upset!

Ok, take a deep, deep breath.  You are not a failure- you simply hit a challenging situation. Period. Do NOT spend an energy beating yourself up over it, and instead invest that energy into learning from the experience.  There are many points in your post you can learn from IMHO.

1. You are 3 weeks- this is a very common stall point.  Use the search bar and search "3 week stall" and you will find pages and pages of posts about this.

2. Holy crap, you lost 16 pounds in 3 weeks?  That is  a LOT of weight! Even my tall ass frame, perfect eating pattern in month one, and excersise did not get me there at the 3 week mark.  You need to learn perspective.  Look at my signature.  I did not lose a ton of weight rapidly, but rather steady progress month after month.  It is that cumulative total that gets the job done, not the daily or weekly total.

3. You put yourself in a situation without preparing for your eating needs.  Learn to carry appropriate snacks with you so that you have something instead of reaching for crap choices.  We have all been there.  It takes some practice to change your mindset enough to plan ahead, but you will get there if you make it a goal.  I have in my purse protein bars and fibergourmet crackers just for these types of situations.  I stock my classroom with appropriate choices to keep me away from the vending machine.  Identify what your situation is and plan accordingly.

4.  You mentioned boredom.  This was one of my 2 most common reasons for eating crap choices.  I ended up posting a list of 100 things to do instead of eat on my fridge, so when I got bored I could go peruse the list.  In my case, I found when I was bored exercising was appealing many times- so double goodness!

You have not failed because you ate 4 chips and 2 crackers.  Again, perspective.  A critical skill you need to learn is how to handle falling off the wagon and how to crawl back on.  Start now.  

Now I am saying this part with a gentle tone- stay away from diet coke this early out.  The carbonation is absolutely terrible for you.  My personal belief also is that the diet soda will trigger poor eating habits.  My experience in my youth was I was very, very thin until I started drinking diet soda.  That is exactly when my weight gain kicked in. Many posters here report the same thing. So, cabonation -bad! Weight gain- yep! Is it worth it? I don't think so.

Hang in there, be gentle with yourself, and replace that mental tape you have running in your head with positive actions that you can implement instead of the negative berating of yourself.  

Oh, and get your butt to support group if that is an option.  Take care of yourself- HT

Thank you HT for that! I've been carrying a bag to work with me with my meals and snacks for the day. And on weekends when I know I'll be out of the house for a long time I bring it out to, BUT last night I wasn't prepared for that! I hope it doesn't happen again! Thank you!

I'm with HT on this one. Keeping a supply of "me-friendly" foods in my car early on was key. There were numerous instances of times I would go somewhere with the family, expecting to find something I could eat, only to discover that there was nothing. I think I still have a packet of cream of wheat or oatmeal in my car, and I just finished off the last of a bag of almonds the other day. Get in the habit of doing the same with water. You will hardly ever see me leave the house without a bottle or two of water anymore.

I recently read an article that talked about the key to boredom-related eating being to keep your mind occupied. OK, I know this sounds like a big no-duh, but this is SO KEY for me and it really struck a nerve because once my brain decides it is hungry/knows there is something in the environment it wants, it is so hard to persuade it otherwise. The author and comments were talking about picking up the phone and calling a friend in order to stay sufficiently distracted, with the bonus being that you got in touch with someone you may not have otherwise talked to. That level of mental distraction would work for me. So, I offer that to you.

Don't dwell too long on eating something you shouldn't have because we all mess it up from time to time. Focus instead with the mindset of, well, what did I learn from this? And then drive on! Just make sure you don't repeatedly make that same mistake.

You got this...

Laurie

Thank you Laurie! Everyone has just been so helpful! I feel blessed to have found this site! aside from jello & yogurt, what other snacks do you recommend. I never been good at snacking.

Stuff that travels well, doesn't require refrigeration, and is high in protein:

canned chicken in water

canned tuna in water

crunchy turkey pepperoni chips (search OH for the recipe)

crispy turkey bacon slices (one of my favorites)

If you have refrigeration:

hummus (with a FEW carrots or cucumber slices if allowed. Hummus + cucumber fills me up like nobody's business)

greek yogurt

cottage cheese

hard boiled egg

Hope this helps!

Laurie

This is very helpful! Thank You!!

Wow! HappyTeacher is RIGHT. (Guess that's why they're an educator!)  Breathe, breathe, breathe. Anxiety and negative self-talk are powerful things. Try meditation, good music, find a weight loss buddy, and maybe a new hobby involving your hands.  You've got this.  And keep RE-READING HappyTeacher's advice! Rooting for you,

First of all, 16 lbs. in 3 weeks is pretty damn fantastic!   And the fact that you tested the waters with a couple "old friends" does NOT make you a failure, it just makes you human    

Happy has some good points in her post about how moving forward from stumbles like this really separates the girls from the women - how are you going to handle adversity, sadness, anger and all those other nasty emotions in the future?  THAT more than anything else is going to dictate how successful you are post-op.  

If you spiral down into a pit of darkness every time life throws you a tiny curve ball (and admit it, yesterday was a tiny curve ball) and run to the food to cover up that feeling, you will fail.  We've seen that time and time again on here.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  

Instead of "expecting" to lose a certain amount of weight each week, "expect" to eat according to your plan each day.  "Expect" to take your vitamins each day.  "Expect" to get all your water in each day.  Those kinds of expectations will make you a success!  And please look into a few sessions of therapy to learn how to deal better with anxiety and those other emotions.  It'll be so worth it.  

Thank you! and I am seriously looking into the therapy. I think I need it. I don't know what I would do without you guys on OH. I'm thankful to have found OH.

~Gabby~