To tell or not to tellz

I had my vsg last week and tomorrow I go back to my regular life. So far I have only told my family and a few close friends. I thought I might tell people afterwards but wasn't sure. Now I guess I need to decide how I am going to handle it. The thing is, I know once I tell one person everyone might as well know, and I can't "untell" once it is told. On the one hand, I was very appreciative for the people I knew who had surgery who were willing to talk to me about it and answer all my questions. On the other hand I don't really want to be the subject of gossip and listen to everyone's opinions. I'm just wondering how other people have handled it.

It has been my experience that if you don't tell, the gossip is much worse.  People can assume that you're ill, undergoing chemo, etc.  when you start to lose weight.  It is a completely personal decision, but I've told everyone and had perhaps one comment that stung a little (my very obese friend said that she would never have surgery because she wants to lose weight the "right" way).  

If they know the truth, there's nothing to talk about.  Plus, I feel like obesity and its treatments are already closeted enough.  I have an incurable disease, and I explored many treatments for it over the years; my VSG was simply another treatment, one that I hope will keep me in remission for the rest of my life!

I could not agree more.  

I told everyone else that I don't want to know that I had a hernia repair and am having problems digesting food so I don't eat that often anymore. 

I was very open about my surgery.  I wanted to be able to control the information about what was happening to me because it was going to be patently obvious that something had happened once the weight started coming off--I started this process at nearly 400 pounds!

You have to tell as much as you're comfortable telling people.  If you don't want people talking about you behind your back (and they will, believe me--they do this even when you're open about it!), then be the one controlling what information is out there about you.

The way I see it, there are really only two options.  Once you start losing weight, people will notice and they will talk to you about it.  So you can either tell the truth, or you can lie.  I've picked "tell the truth" every time which means mentioning surgery.  I have found that it's so much easier to tell people about my surgery now that I've had it, since it's not like they can change things!  On the other hand, I was VERY careful about who I told pre-op, since I didn't want to deal with ignorance.  

Once you start losing weight, you're probably going to be the subject of gossip and have to listen to people's opinions on it anyway, right?  I'd rather have people gossiping about the truth!  

Those are good points. Like you, I didn't tell many people at all before. If I decide not to tell afterwards I plan on saying that I am eating a lot less or smaller portions, which is true. I started out at 220 pounds and 5'3" which is obese but still a "lightweight"  so I might be able to get away with it. I've lost a lot of weight twice before too, so it wouldn't be that unusual. It might just be easier to tell people the truth though. I'm not sure why I am still hesitant about it.

Personally, I don't think that is true.  It's a partial truth, for sure, but that's it.  I'd rather tell people that I'd rather not talk about it than lie to them.  

The reason I feel this way is because I think obesity, weight loss, and weight loss surgery is so stigmatized already and I don't want to add to that by making other people think that they can lose weight just by eating less.  I know that I certainly never could... so there's no way those words would feel like anything other than a lie when coming out of my mouth.  I know that I needed this surgery to lose weight, that's why I did it.  I don't want to make someone else think that all it will take is diet.  

(Sorry.  I'm a jerk about this topic.  I feel pretty strongly about it.  I don't want to inadvertently damage a person by making them think they should be able to lose weight by eating less because of my example.)

You are not being a jerk. I asked the question and wanted to hear people's opinions. You bring up some very good points that I can relate to. I never would have started researching wls in the first place if an acquaintance hadn't told me she had it. I can see why it might be better to just get it out in the open. I know my fear of telling people is totally irrational.  

Oh no!  I think your fear of telling people is rational since people can be completely idiots when it comes to other people's health and weight!  I fear people's reactions too.  But, knock on wood, I've been fairly lucky so far with responses.  I did have one person who didn't tell me that -I- should have "tried diet and exercise" but when I told her about my surgery she did say, "Oh a friend of mine is considering that but I think she should try diet and exercise."  I was like, "what makes you think she hasn't?"  :P 

In my original comment I did neglect to mention the third option which is whatever variation of "that's none of your business/I don't want to talk about it" you choose.  If you don't want to tell people the truth, I think that's the option to choose.