Feeling defeated

Yesterday I seen my surgeon and another surgeon that works with him about the abscess I have on my spleen. My VSG was Feb 26/13 and I had a leak that caused the abscess. I have had 7 surgeries since then and now I am on antibiotics for another month and if that doesn't work I will have to have my spleen removed. Just feeling defeated.  I am on pain meds and just feeling pretty "crappy". I swear I did everything by the book.

BTW Donna ..... I told him you said hello and he was happy to hear that you were doing well 

Oh darling I can't imagine how you are feeling but know I'm praying with you for a resolution.  Do NOT beat up on yourself.  I know the "rest" of us seemed to have breezed through but we all take a CHANCE when we have surgery.

Stay strong...as you know Donna went through hell and back!!  

Oh my gosh, what a horribly difficult experience you've had!  I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this.  None of what happened was your fault; sounds like you fell into the category of "this happens to 1 out of every 1000 surgeries".   Stinks 

"I swear I did everything by the book."

I'm really sure this isn't your fault.  Complications happen and they suck.  I guess the blessing in this is that you don't need your spleen to function.  I know from experience that once the problem actually gets resolved you will bounce back quickly and the emotional turmoil felt by this will dissipate.  You will be back to your old self in a much better new way knowing that you are an incredibly strong person to go through all this and come out on the other side.  Keep the faith, there is an end in sight.

God bless, Michelle

How awful!  I'm sorry that you're going through this.  Are you talking with a therapist?  That might help with your feelings of defeat!