Freaking out a week before surgery

Good Morning Everyone,

I am scheduled to have surgery 1 week from today and I am starting to freak out!  I have struggled with my weight for what seems like my whole life.  My job had this pilot program for weight loss surgery and I was accepted.  Therefore, my insurance is going to pay 80% of my surgery and something that I had long thought about finally became a possibility.  I am scheduled for VSG, next Friday and now that the time is almost here I am really scared. 

I know this is the right thing to do.  I'm still relatively young (early 30's), but my weight has caused all sorts of health problems.  Both of my parents are obese.  Both are Type 2 diabetics.  1/2 my adult relatives have had double knee replacements and I don't want that to be me. 

But, here's the thing. Food has always been such a big part of my life and I am worried about it not being there anymore.  I love food and I enjoy food and I am worried that I won't enjoy it anymore after the surgery.

 I am worried about depriving myself of things.  I am on a 2 week optifast diet prior to surgery and I sobbed for an hour the other night because I so desperately wanted Chipotle. 

I guess my question is, am I just suffering from cold feet and desperation due to the optifast, or are my concerns legitimate? 

Any advice is appreciated.

C

Hi, my name is Ellie and I could swear that I am reading my life story when I read your post.  I am a little older than you (53) and my only wish is that I had of done this sooner.  All of your fears are very normal and I also went through the weeping stage (kinda like I was feeling deprived). Then I put on my "big girl panties" and decided that any fears or doubts that I had were not as bad as the fear I had of leaving my family due to complications from health issues (diabetes, high blood pressure, etc).  You may not have any of these issues but chances are they are just around the corner if your obesity remains unchecked.  What this whole process teaches us to do is to eat in moderation with thought and purpose.  We did not sign up for a life time of deprivation, and you will enjoy your food once again, it just will not be indulgence every day (which is how I got here).  My advise to you is to speak with your psychologist and tell him/her of your fears, you will find that what you have spoken about is normal and it is what we all need to learn to work through.  Good luck with your surgery, you are going to do great.  Take each stage slowly and be patient with yourself.  

Ellie

Thank you Ellie.  Your words mean so much.  I found them very comforting.   I just keep trying to tell myself that I will be able to eat pizza again at some point, but instead of eating an entire large by myself.  I'll eat just a small slice.  I think these darn shakes just make me feel so deprived right now.  My stomach is still full size and all I can eat is these shakes which are in tiny little juice boxes. 

I worried about this too, but I am six months out and I can honestly say I enjoy food more now.  I have to eat slower and actually enjoy the flavors instead of shoveling it in as fast as I could.  I savor every bite and enjoy my meals.  I love eating out even more these days because I get delicious leftovers to enjoy for several more meals.  The liquid stage is hard and makes you feel like things will never be normal again.  They will, only better normal because you will feel so fantastic once you get some of that weight off!  I'd say you are suffering the effects of the liquid diet and normal cold feet.

That is such a relief to hear.  I love to try new foods and go to new places.   Being a "foodie" is such a big part of who I am.  I don't want to lose that completely. 

Trust me, the food isn't going anywhere and neither are you.  You are saying "see ya later" to some foods for a while.  You will enjoy them once in a while at much smaller portions, and not feel the least bit deprived when you do.

I was reading on some on these threads and people were talking about how they don't tolerate certain foods anymore and that freaked me out.  One of the reasons I chose this procedure over the other options is because I will still have a stomach and normal digestion so I thought that there would be nothing I couldn't... at least eventually... and of course in moderation. 

I am 5 months out and do not regret the surgery at all.  The pre-op diet and post-op nausea were probably the hardest things for me, but I am grateful for this surgery every day.  Sometimes I wish I could eat more of the foods that I love, but I also know that this is a tool for me to stop eating too much and it is working very well.  Good luck to you in your decision.

First, congrats! That program sounds awesome! 

You will not feel hungry after surgery. If you really miss having something, sugar free popsicles or ice will help. At least for me, seeing people eat things or even going to pick up things for others from restaurants hasn't bothered me at all yet - and three weeks ago it would have A LOT. 

One thing that has helped me so far is reminding myself of something I decided before surgery: I would rather give up *every* crutch food I have (fries, anything with cheese, desserts) than continue to live feeling as tired, gross, and uncomfortable as I was. Luckily, I don't have to give up everything (I can have cheese; one day I'll make zucchini fries or something; paleo desserts will be a possibility, etc) but I have to (and have been working on) changing my thought process and eating habits. 

I do wish I could have a nice fresh salad, but in a few more weeks I will be able to. I just won't be having that salad and *then* having three cookies or something after. 

I am 17 days post-op and I do not regret a second of it. I am currently in the soft foods phase and eating the foods I loved before the surgery (just in much smaller portions). Remember, this surgery doesn't take food away from you, it limits it. I LOVED chipotle beforehand in just 1 short week I will able to eat it once again. The 2 month process from pre-op diet to eating solid foods is well worth the wait, especially when you see those pounds fall off the scale.