nervous about surgery

I was wondering if anyone else out there was nervous about having the surgery.  I am worried about all the changes - body, food, spouse, etc.  I am also nervous about complications.  I am also worried about all the negative things people at work have said to me when they found out that I was going to have surgery. Has anyone else had these?   Thanks

Don't. Tell. Anyone. No one else's business. I told my family in 2009 and they freaked. Now it's 2015 and I'm following thru. Told my sis, who is taking care of my kids, told her not to tell my folks, and she did. Grrrrr!!! Told my newish boss in a weak moment (because she is 350+ pounds with many health issues) and she's not giving me any new wor****il she sees how well I recover "because she's read things". I am very sorry I ever told ANYONE!! 

I am still pre-op, but have been very open about my upcoming surgery. My husband, daughters & extended family have all been supportive as they know I have battled obesity my entire adult life.

I guess b/c I am older I do not care too much what ppl think. I had to learn this from being fat, from having cancer, and will deal w/any changes that occur after surgery one by one. I worry about being successful long-term due to a lifetime of bad habits, but I am determined to give this my best. My health...and life...are at risk if I don't.

I am glad I am no longer in the work force b/c that does create issues I don't have to deal with, but then again if my work environment was unsupportive or hostile I would not want to be in that kind of environment...if I had a choice.

I do worry about complications given I have several co-morbidities, but I have to pray I get thru it okay.

Best of luck!

same as previous poster, I told my family I was considering having WLS and they freaked out and freaked me out in the process, i ended up changing my mind. Now, here I am 4 years later and heavier than before, needless to say I wont be telling anyone lol. Good Luck to you

I'm very interested in this post, and the aspect of not telling anyone.  So far I've told my husband and two relatives.  My goal is to not tell others outside of family (but suspect people may figure out what's up).  My sister thinks I can skate by because I'm a relatively "lightweight" to begin with. 

Has anyone on this board gotten away with not telling anyone (or almost anyone?)

I am schedules for surgery June 17th and I too have battled with the tell or don't tell questions. I work with wonderful and extremely skinny people who spend their lunch hours eating salads and doing yoga.  While I think they will be supportive I do wonder if I will become the topic of conversation in the building.  I started my preop liquid diet 6 days ago and I can honestly say it has helped me to make my decision. I have only told my immediate family and my two best friends- everyone else I will tell if and when they ask about my weight loss. This is not a quick fix and it certainly is not the easy way out.  Six months of counseling, logging my food, meeting with a ton of different doctors and now having nothing but liquids for two weeks and then several more post surgery.... Most of my salad eating yoga friends could never endure what I have and will in order to get healthy. I will be honest that I made a choice to take back my life and get healthy.  I will be honest that I am eating right and exercising. I will be honest that my children are more important than anything else in this world- including my fear of what others might say or think. There is a great song out now called This is My Fight Song... Listen to it on full volume and embrace this journey!  You are worthy of the life ahead and society cannot take that away. Addiction to food is just as much a disease as cancer and alcoholism. We are simply utilizing the medical field to help us with our disease- it's not a cure, but it's a great tool. Good luck to you and please let me know how you are doing!  

For me, some pre-op reactions were negative but the concerns were mostly based on fear of the unknown. I was the only one *****ally did any research on the procedure.  Since the surgery I have not had one single negative remark.  Everyone is amazed at how much better I look and how my health has improved. Having this procedure has positively affected every aspect of my life.

Outside of my family, I told almost nobody what I was going to do.  But a year later I find that I'm asked constantly what I did to make such a change...  I say that I eat less but more often, and then I describe what foods I mostly avoid... But being an honest person I find myself compelled to reveal that I had my stomach size reduced also...  I explain how that had helped get me to loose the weight initially, and how the lifestyle changes are necessary to sustain the loss. I cannot recall getting even one single negative reaction.

Having this surgery is a personal choice because it's your life and your body. Emotionally it marks a decision you make to take action to improve both your health and quality of life. Yes, It will affect everyone that is close to you, but you need to remind them that you are doing it for yourself.  And if you do not see it that way you will have a hard time with all of the other lifestyle changes you will need to adopt to remain successful.  The Surgery is actually one of the smaller challenges. Changing your relationship with food and modifying you diet is really the long term effort. But do not let that scare you.  You will find that your cravings for the bad will go away after a short time of eating properly.

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I was VERY nervous before surgery. I still am about the body and life changes. It's a huge process, but take it one step at a time and it will happen. Consider complications, but try not to worry yourself over them. I was, and I never even needed my pain meds let alone had any complications. I am 5 days out and I feel pretty good. I told my surgeon I was very nervous about surgery, and they gave me a med to help with anxiety. It did. Be open about your fears.

As far as telling people, I told only my mother and a cousin I am close to for the first few months when I started the process. I was lucky. Both were/are incredibly supprotive. As it got closer to the surgery, I told my manager at work ( I needed time off for tests and to prepare her for the 6 weeks I would need off), and I told the co-workers I work closest with. That was about six people. They were ALL very supportive. I was surprised. But I work in a hospital where we get heavy training on how to treat people who are having bariatric surgery. They understood it and that it wasn't some BS easy way out. My last day at work was 5/28. On 6/1, I announced that I was having the surgery on Facebook. I said right away that anyone who wanted to be rude about it could get out of my life, and if they thought they knew better than any of my healthcare providers, they should stop wasting time on Facebook, go to medical school, and change the world. lol. I was prepared for a nasty comment. Fully prepared. But I had such an outpouring of support even from people I never expected it from. I've been very lucky, but I was prepared for way worse. I purposely waited until the day before my surgery because I knew I wouldn't really HAVE to see anyone for six weeks and they could get all their gossipping out before they saw me again and made me mad! lol.

All that being said, tell whoever you feel comfortable with! Nobody NEEDS to know. Appreciate all the positive comments and support, and disregard the people who say rude things. I find a lot of them don't actually know anything about the surgeries or what you have to do even if you have surgery. I've had to correct people multiple times that I didn't have lapband or gastric bypass! I educate them and move on. Don't let their negativity mess with your journey. You know what's best for you, and you will always have support here!

I told people who I am close with, friends and family.  Now two years later if people ask me I tell them.  I was worried about negative responses, but honestly I just had support from people who care about me.  Sure some people make stupid comments, but that is their business.  

I was embarassed, worried it wouldn't work, so I did keep it to closer people at first, but I think people knowing helped.  

Good ode luck with your decision.  Either way, I hope you get the support you need!

As far as telling people, obviously my husband because we discussed it before hand. I told my mom, and a few very close friends. The only people at work I told were my very close friend co-workers who would be affected by my absence. Everyone has been extremely supportive.

I am only 4 days post op, but there's no going back! I worry that I am exchanging one set of problems for another set (ie, loose skin, taste changes...) but at least I will be happier and able to be active in the things I love to do. 

I didn't worry much about the surgery itself. I was more preoccupied with the IV. I have a horrible needle phobia. Once that was in, the anesthesiologist gave me some drugs and I don't remember anything until hours after surgery. 

Right now, it's just day by day, focusing on healing and reaching fluid and protein goals. 

This is not an easy way out. It's extremely hard work. It takes strength and dedication.  Screw the naysayers. It's none of their business.

This is for YOU! And your quality of life. You do this for you.