Newbie questions

It's been years since I've been on this site. Years ago I was considering Lap Band. I read a ton of stories on this forum and even went to an information session that a local surgical group had. Ultimately, I was scared and didn't receive much support from my husband and mom so I put it off. Here I am two kids later and heavier than I've ever been. I came back to OH to read current stories and when I look at the Lap Band boards there are a bunch of complaints so here I am looking into the sleeve. I'm sure I'll have many more questions but here are some just to get started:

What's with the drinking while eating? Can you drink before/after a meal, just not during? What happens if you do? 

What does eating out look like to you? I go out with my girlfriends every couple months for dinner. We get a couple of beers and dinner and talk for hours. I'm just trying to picture how I will handle a situation like that?

Have you been forthcoming with people about your surgery? If so, have they been supportive? My husband is very apprehensive. Advice on helping him to be more supportive? 

What surprised you the most after having the surgery? 

Welcome back!  Good questions.  

What's with the drinking while eating? Can you drink before/after a meal, just not during? What happens if you do? 

You can drink right up to a meal, but not during a meal or for 30 minutes afterward.  If I do, I feel grossly and painfully full.  

What does eating out look like to you? I go out with my girlfriends every couple months for dinner. We get a couple of beers and dinner and talk for hours. I'm just trying to picture how I will handle a situation like that?

Eating out is pretty easy actually!  I check out the menu online before I go, so I can make a good choice without spending hours reading the menu.  I don't drink alcohol because it won't do anything positive for my health or weight loss.  So I get my meal, eat, and check my watch.  So I can drink water before and after.  I can still talk for hours and that's the important part :)  My friends all know I had surgery, so they're used to how I eat and understand.  

Have you been forthcoming with people about your surgery? If so, have they been supportive?

I have told everyone, but not until after surgery.  Before surgery, I only told my few closest friends and closest family.  After surgery, once I'd lost about 60 pounds, I posted about it on Facebook, so I now consider it public knowledge.  It's so much easier knowing that everyone knows.  All my friends have been SUPER supportive.  They're pretty amazing.  Or they know that doing anything else would be futile. :P

My husband is very apprehensive. Advice on helping him to be more supportive? 

Can he go to an information seminar with you?  That might help him to understand better what you're considering and why.  

What surprised you the most after having the surgery? 

I'm not sure anything has surprised me.  I read all the forum posts in the VSG forum pre-op, so I felt like I was pretty well prepared.  I've also worked really hard to focus on my entire self, not just my weight, so I've made great strides with my mental and physical health as well as my weight.  For me, I feel like that's the key to long term success.  

Thanks for taking the time and responding. My husband actually attended a Lap Band info session years ago. I think I'll sign up and invite him along again. I think, for him it is the stigma attached to WLS. Like, just eat less and exercise and you'll lose it. I'm dealing with those thoughts too and probably adding to some of the shame I am feeling about being open about it. I do think I'll feel more capable of increasing activity when I don't have all of this extra weight attached to me. At least, that's what I'm hoping. 

It might be worthwhile to explain to him that you've tried that for years and it hasn't worked, so that it's time to try something different.  

What's with the drinking while eating? Can you drink before/after a meal, just not during? What happens if you do? 

You'll want to search the OH forums for "Pyloric Valve 101".  Until I read that, I didn't really understand why we shouldn't drink during/after eating.  Thank you, Frisco!

What does eating out look like to you? I go out with my girlfriends every couple months for dinner. We get a couple of beers and dinner and talk for hours. I'm just trying to picture how I will handle a situation like that?

Eating out is fine. Just expect a lot of leftovers!  Also, you won't be able to drink beer as carbonation is a no-no post-op.

Have you been forthcoming with people about your surgery? If so, have they been supportive?

Pre-surgery, I only told my closest friends and family.  Post-op, and as it's become obvious I'm losing weight/getting fitter, I tell someone if they ask what I've been doing.  I look at is as an educational service I'm providing.  =)

My husband is very apprehensive. Advice on helping him to be more supportive? 

I wish I could help. Every person in my life has been 110% supportive of me and my decision to get my health in order via surgery.

What surprised you the most after having the surgery? 

Weirdly, that it wasn't as weird as I expected it to be.  I chalk that up to the almost two years I spent educating myself about the procedure and what post-op life would be like (thank you OH boards!) while I waited for surgery.  95% of the time, I feel no different than I did pre-op.  Except now I'm lighter, healthier and happier than I have been in years.  Part of me wishes I'd had it done sooner, but the rest of me understands that it happened when I was ready for it to.

Thank you Heather! Frisco's post explained it perfectly!

I am a week post op and I can tell you today I went to lunch with my bestie her treat I had egg drop soup and i also had some of thr broth from her pho I'm not far into my weight loss yet but i can tell I was full awefully fast and sat there for a long while as sh enjoyed he soup.  I didn't know what it's like to not feel hungry until I had my sleeve done.  The first time in my entire life I'm not hungry.  It's weird.  I'm sure drinks with friends will never be the same but it will be less eating that I'm 100% sure of.

Since the others have responded so nicely to your other questions, I am just going to respond to the husband question.  I would recommend giving him as much information as humanly possible so that he is completely informed, including statistics on the possibility of complications (which is extremely low with VSG), so that you can make him feel more comfortable with the idea.  He is just worried about the possible complications and he loves you, so he is worried about losing you.  For many of us, losing weight without surgery was an impossible dream.  Yes, I lost some, but would always gain back that plus some.  I could not have lost more than 100 lbs without this surgery, that is for sure.  I had been obese for more than half of my life (more than 20 years) and it was not going to change unless I did something about it, hence the surgery.  And I have never been happier :)

I can drink right up to the point where I eat.  I wait for a while to drink after meals.  If not I get uncomfortably full.

Eating out is fine, order healthier food, eat smaller quantities, have a good time.  No beer.

I tell everyone about the surgery, you never know whose life you might change and who cares if they judge you.  Everyone has been supportive.

What surprised me most is how happy I am that I did it.  I thought there would be some sort of regret, even if something small.  I've not had any regret in any form.