Whatcha Eating Today VSGers? Tuesday, 1/8/2019

Good morning and happy Tuesday! My to do list is a mile long today - lots and lots of phone calls to schedule appointments for myself and Art. Some are important, like yearly skin check with the dermatologist, but the one that I'm most excited about is a hair cut. My hair is feeling really shaggy and I miss my super short hair! Aside from that, I'm looking forward to running midday when the temp is 54F and reading for fun!

Today is also a great day because it's my 12th anniversary with Lance! We had no idea, 12 years ago, that our relationship would turn out this way :D We're going to celebrate by hopefully finally beating Mario Odyssey. (He plays Mario, I play Mario's hat...)

QOTD: What advice would you give to someone who is trying to find a mental therapist? What process/methods would you suggest they use? What advice would you give someone who is dreading having to go through the "let me catch you up on the last 30+ years of my life" thing with a new therapist? (I'll answer in a comment.)

1: protein shake
2: tuna green bean salad (this is a janky recipe from my youth that I added to my recipe software from my blog over the weekend and have been craving ever since. It's tuna + green beans + mayo + garlic powder + soy sauce and topped with chow mien noodles. Super fancy, eh?)
3: steak and mushroom pie

liquid and vites: on track
exercise: running and yoga stretching

How about you?

QOTD: What advice would you give to someone who is trying to find a mental therapist? What process/methods would you suggest they use? What advice would you give someone who is dreading having to go through the "let me catch you up on the last 30+ years of my life" thing with a new therapist?

First I'd get a referral from someone you know or someone with the same issues you want to deal with... and if you don't think they understand or are on your side, find another one. It took me three different therapist to find a good one for me.

B-Protein shake w/coffee, protein bar

S-Greek Yogurt

L-Low carb Healthy Choice meal

S-Raw Veggies w/ranch

D-Chicken w/avocado

S-?? maybe another protein bar

Exercise- Gym (weight training day) and walk 4-5 miles

Water- Already have 64 oz down

Vitamins- On track!

QOTD:

My normal advice is to start with your insurance website and print out a list of the therapists that participate with your plan in distance order. Then start calling - ask if they still actually participate with your insurance and if they're taking new clients.

If you have any "weird" things that could be problematic for a therapist, ask about that on the phone so that you don't waste your time later. For example, I mention that I'm polyamorous and that the therapist needs to be cool with that. (I went to a therapist once because I was having a hard time with my brother's divorce and the therapist tried to convince me that everything would be solved if I "let [my] husband Be The Man" and was monogamous. Something that was totally unrelated to trying to be a better support for my brother. Now I know better and include that in the phone interview.)

Realize that the first therapist you schedule with might not be the one you click with. Finding a therapist is sort of like any relationship - sometimes you don't click with people and that's okay, so you have to try again. Therapists are used to being "dumped."

If calling and scheduling is challenging for you, you might have a trusted person/people who could help you with it. Someone else can always make the calls for you and schedule on your behalf.

As for the last part of the question.... this is something I'm currently struggling with in my brain. My insurance changed at the end of 2017 and my therapist doesn't take my new insurance. I had a credit with the practice, so I kept seeing her for a while and paid out of pocket. Then I felt like I was okay so I stopped, but I've been struggling since May of 2018 if I'm being honest with myself. I'm re-realizing that therapy is really a prophylactic thing and that finding a new therapist when you're in the midst of struggle is a super ****ty experience. (I'm in the process of scheduling with my current therapist and will see her out of pocket to bolster me to find someone who participates with my insurance.)

The idea of calling and scheduling is totally overwhelming to me right now, but I've had a number of people offer to help me with that which was mind-blowing and amazing.

The idea of having to do the whole "let me catch you up on the last 41 years of my life" and paying (in terms of time, money, and mental energy) for the privilege of doing that is even more overwhelming, though. Especially if I go through all of that only to find that I don't even click with the therapist and have therefore wasted all of those finite resources. :/

I wonder if I can just type up a timeline of my life and give that to a therapist that can then read it on their own time :P

Hadn't thought about getting the insurance approval first...

Good morning! Happy 12th Anniversary to you and Lance! I am impressed with any relationship that lasts and thrives in this crazy world of ours Gwen! Enjoy your Mario Odyssey:-)

It's a beautiful, sunny and very cold day here in Montana. I have some work to do from home and then will take Emmy out for a hike.

QOTD-Finding the right therapist is a lot of work, trial and error. It took me 30 years to find the right one. She left for Peru in November and is now in Finland. For me the right one came by accident through my Pain Clinic. I don't have much advice except to keep trying until the right fits in your heart, soul and brain. The one main component that worked for me was my therapist is very much into working on the present and forgiving the past.

B-1/3 cup granola, coffee

L-Greek yogurt with dark cherries and pecans

S-Hot tea, jerky or string cheese

D-Leftover bean and ham soup

E-Hike with my dog

Have a good Tuesday!

QOTD: What advice would you give to someone who is trying to find a mental therapist? What process/methods would you suggest they use? What advice would you give someone who is dreading having to go through the "let me catch you up on the last 30+ years of my life" thing with a new therapist? When I was working in mental health, I did children and adolescents, so they were pretty much "captive" to a point. As a grown up, who also has treatment, I would say: 1) List of questions, including "what is your end game plan for me?" and 2) if you feel that your doctor is "discounting" your questions or explanations, cross them off the list - but give them feedback as to why you might not want to see them. This will help other patients and will help you. And you may find with additional dialogue, this person does "get you".

As to the 30+ year catch up -- I would try to hone down what things still "trigger" a strong reaction. If you've been abused (I had for many years), that would be loud voices and confrontation, and any one holding my head still (dentist, hair dresser)....that said, I have done cognitive therapy so have some tools when I have to deal with triggers.

Your history will come out gradually (and probably appropriately) as you develop a relationship based on that why you are here now stuff. So maybe you can have a list but not share it till you know its time based on your goals.

Doubt this makes sense to anyone but me, lol.

TRYING to get back on track after vacation. Good news, weight stayed the same after 10 days of travel and friends and lots more food choices. Bad news, don't feel quite as perky and I suspect the sugars in the 1/2 glasses of wine and the taste of desserts.

B: Chobani yogurt

S: Premier shake

L: Small salad with protein

D: thin crust"pizza" with spinach