Christian morals on divorce...

Nov 30, 2009

Well, I should first write that I am thankful for what I do have. I have my family and a wonderful daughter that God has blessed me with, I have food on the table and a roof over my head (for now). I am grateful to God for the blessings that he has bestowed on me.

This leads me to the problem of me feeling let down again. On Saturday, my husband had been feeling ill for 3 days but refused to go to the Dr. So I went about my business and did the errands/chores that needed to be done. He calls me that afternoon while I was out and says all this stuff about he can't believe that I have so many guy friends on facebook. Ok well, I dont go to FB except 1 time every 2 months, at that. When I am on there I don't talk to guys, I only talk to 3 female friends and some church friends. That is it. He then says he doesn't want me to do anything for him and he feels like we need to split up. According to him I always ask too much from him and blame him for everything.

Ok so these are the 3 things that I ask from him: Spend time with my daughter and I, do not curse at us, and quit gambling. I have transformed my life when I devoted my life to Christ. I admit that I am not perfect and I never will be but I try so very hard to live a life that is God fearing and according to God's will. Our daughter is 1 1/2, and she has a very full vocabulary which is why I prefer for him to not curse at us. Plus it does nothing but bring us down. His response is that he will curse if he wants to, this is his house too. As for the other two things I had asked of him, he works 2 jobs because we are so far in debt due to his gambling that we can't stay above water. His gambling, well he told me that he had changed but then this morning he was purchasing scratch off tickets. So now I feel let down. I sometimes think that I set myself up for this. I am the one who believes him when he says he's stopped or has not done it. Why do I believe him so? I just frustrates me to no end.

Then comes the morality issue with divorce. I have not been in love with my husband for a long time, I mean several years. Yes, I do care for him and love him but I don't want to be with him. I really would like to get divorced but of course that does not go along with my Christian morals. I sometimes run through the list of why I should divorce him and then I think am I just trying to convince myself? Is this the Devil talking to me?  I have no idea if I have grounds for divorce or not, according to the bible. I didn't want to be divorced but I am so tired of him manipulating me and verbally abusing me. When he's yelling at me, my daughter just cries and cries. I know that it's affecting her and I don't want her to be talked to like a dog. It sets such a bad example when he talks down to me, I am afraid she'll end up just like me.

This past weekend things got so bad that I have had hives for 4 days now. It just makes me sick to be around him and I don't want to be here with him. If I can come to terms with my spiritual issues I would like to ask for a divorce when we get our taxes done. I have prayed about this for 2 years now and I am so afraid that I just can't put up with him for much longer. I know that God will provide me with an answer but it's according to his time line and not mine.

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