Christmas 2010...

Dec 26, 2010

Yesterday was Christmas and it started snowing and is still snowing today...so in 24 hours we have over 12" of snow. For the Hampton Roads area that is a lot. I mean we normally have major issues with 1/2 " of snow so I am sure everything will be closed for a while.

Honestly, I am feeling kind of sad. This was my first Christmas since being separated and it was hard. With the snow we have everything closed so no gym to take out my frustration. I feel fat today...especially after my big meal yesterday. Being alone is hard for me because I really tend to think about the stuff that has molded me and what has imprinted my life. I normally try to keep myself busy and dont give myself enough time for anything but the past 2 days I have had a lot of time. I have made some friends but all the relationships are not really serious and most are unhealthy. I try to talk to some of them...so I guess they are not really friends. Just people that I had met that text or call me. None of them understand the responsibility that I carry being a mother. None seem to take it seriously and most want me to give them time but dont understand the demands of being a single mom. No matter what, my daughter comes first no matter what.

I have ate bad the last few days but I'm looking forward to getting back on track and working out. I am trying to find a way to get my implants done. I will be trying to get my loan paid off so that I can get the full amount to pay for it. I am hoping to have my surgery by Feb. 2011. It will be a esteem booster but I know it will not cure all the embarrassment that I feel. I just don't know if I will ever feel the same again...when having sex. I am embarrassed to see myself with all this extra skin so being intimate with someone will not be comfortable.  I need to make an appt with my PCP to see if I can get a referral to a Plastic surgeon for a Panni. I know my insurance covers a panni for post - op WLS patients but need to have documentation. So 1st step is to get implants done...2nd step referral for Panni...3rd step to get my feet looked at for bunion surgery. I need to do this before I lose my insurance...which would be March or April. Time is not on my side for all of this and of course money is an issue as well.

As for school...I want to be an RN with a specialty in Pediatrics. Anyone who reads this and is a Christian I ask that you pray for me. I really love children and I want to go back to school and get my RN license. I know that I would be an incredible nurse and I know that children are my calling. I am asking that you pray for me..specifically for acceptance into the programs and for financial aid. God has laid it upon my heart to do this and I know that if I am following his will that there is a way. I ask that you please remember me in your prayers...it would be a blessing to me and to my daughter.

As always, I am grateful for all the blessings that God has given me. I am thankful for having a roof over my head and for my mother being supportive of me.

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