2.5 wks post-op: some new insights

Aug 06, 2010

Ok, so here I am on the 3rd day of mushies.  Liquids never really satified or filled me up during the 1st two weeks, not even the thick cream of veg ones with blended chicken bits.   I was starting to get discouraged as I've been reading so many posts that mentioned only being able to get down an ounce or two at a time at 2 wks.  I'm able to drink 8-12oz at a time with no problems.  Granted I have to go slower than before (takes about 15min) and I'm not exactly hungry for the next 3hrs, but it still seems like a lot.  I posted, and basically the responses were to not worry and that it will be different with solids.

Well, my 1st mushy food was 1 scrambled egg with some cheese.  I sure was hungry for it!  It did have a harder time going down, and I felt every bite.  By the end, I felt a pressure under my breastbone, like something was stuck at the bottom of my esophagus and just was not passing.  I figured it would not be pleasant if I ate any more, even though I did not feel really satified or full the way I used to (after a ton more food of course).  Later, I happened upon a post on the DS msg brd where some folks described their new full feelings as being similar.  AH HA!  OK, now I know what I'm looking for!  This is key for me!  I'm a bit disappointed I did not learn of this earlier from the surgeon's team or the support group, or even from the many posts I've waded thru on OH's VSG msg brd, but at least I know it now!

I've had 2 soft scrambled eggs (without cheese) 2 more times since then, and must say they give me the same feedback, and seem to keep me satified after the initial "taste hunger", i.e. the part of me that still wants to eat more to get more taste, has abated.  I'm finding that this taste hunger is quite a strong one for me, and I need to distract myself for a while right after eating in order to get over it.

I think that the old satisfied or full feeling that I'm still looking for may be impossible to attain without hurting myself (and blowing the sleeve), and that I'm going to have to find a similar substitute feeling somewhere else.  This is what I must work on with my counselor...finding safe and truly satisfying alternatives.  The instantaneous, non-demanding, stress-relieving, pleasurable effects of overeating will be a difficult thing to replace, especially late at night when I'm used to achieving "satisfaction".  At least now I can pinpoint this problem not just theoretically, but actually with gut-level understanding (no pun intended).  Still, I do feel a little despair sometimes... (midnight is my witching hour it seems).

Anyway, I've experimented a bit more with the mushies, and found that others don't seem to work at getting me to "full" as well as the scrambled eggs.  Not thick bean soup with cheese, not yogurt, not cottage cheese...they slide down too easily.  Tomorrow, I think I'll try refried black beans with cheese.  Maybe even some chopped chicken with a little mayo.  I have a feeling that the tougher solid foods, when I'm allowed to eat them, will be the best at achieving this new full feeling.

Oh, with regard to taste changes, so far I've noticed that I'm preferring the more savory flavors, and not really wanting sweet ones.  Its funny how the eggs and cottage cheese really taste better to me now compared to pre-VSG (more flavorful).  Granted I was always a protein lover, but I also craved chocolate and ice cream.  Now, not so much.

OK, it's time to hit the hay now. More later.

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