Cooking...but not eating...

May 04, 2014

I am a foodie.  I love everything there is about food.  I love researching recipes, planning meals, shopping for groceries and cooking for family and friends.  This weekend I have been obsessing over food.  I'm PMSing, kids are getting to me, our dog is hurt and cant be fixed, I'm unemployed and questioning my ability to actually get and keep a job, and I'm just stressed.  So as usual my go-to is to cook. 

This past week I went back to cooking for my family.  Its been a real comfort since I'm not working and gives me something to do.  On top of normal meals, yesterday I made strawberry shortcakes.  This morning I made waffles with eggs and hash browns for breakfast.  I cooked a roast all day for dinner.  I made cheese sauce to go over some left-over rice for a side.  I didn't eat any of it except a tablespoon of the rice and a half ounce of roast beef for dinner tonight. 

My husband is worried that this behavior will make things worse on me while going through this journey.  He would rather see me put my efforts towards some other hobby instead of anything food related.  And its not that I don't WANT to eat the things I cook.  I'm just so afraid I will eat something that will make me sick I don't dare try most of it.  I know as I continue to heal I will be able to eat more and more things and I will work hard at continuing to stay away from the things I shouldn't be eating but I don't see myself ever giving up my love of cooking.  My plan is to just cook in smaller quantities and start serving my family the same way I will be eating.  My hubby is on board for changing his eating habits, hopefully the kids wont fight back too much!

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