1-1-12

Jan 01, 2012

In my search for more help on surgery. I came across this site. In a last ditch effort to find some kind of help for me. Before it is to late. I come from a family of obese ppl. It is common in my family to be large. But it is also common to die from it in my family. An I dont wanna suffer the same fate as the rest. It scares me to death. For a better lack of words that is. What is stopping me from recieving help is my first denial from my insurance due to mental issues from the past. I had a nervous break down when my father passed away in 2007. An that discredited me. I am Bi Polar ( another family trait ) which got me a denial. An becuase I did something really stupid when I was 16. I tried to commit suicide then. I have not tried anything like that since. But thoes 3 reasons disqualified me via my insurance. I am trying to appeal it. This is hard. I feel so alone. My family is very supportive. An help as much as possible. But they dont know what it feels like being trapped inside my body. But to hear some one tell me NO. Just makes me even more determined. I dont take NO very well.  I am scared. I am gonna die. One day my heart is gonna quit. It is gonna say I have had enough an just stop. I will be just like everyone else in my family. I have 2 boys. 22 an 18. An I have a beautiful grand daughter. I want to play with her. I want to crawl around on the ground with her. I want to hug her. I wanna see her grow up into an amazing little woman. But if I dont get help soon. I fear I will never see that. I have an amazing fience. He is supportive an helpful an very concerned about me.  An we dont have 30 thousand dollars or the credit to pay for it ourselfs.  So to fight the mental dr an the insurance company is all I have.  I will not stop fighting till I get my gastric bypass. All's I know this is the ONLY thing that is gonna save my life. I want out of this living hell I live in every day. Some one some where PLEASE help me.

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