April 24 2007
Apr 23, 2007
What can I say.. I have been trying to normalize my life. It has been 2 yrs since my surgery.. I have gained about 30-40lbs back.. I try effortlessly to get them to go away and cannot find the willpower to get back on track. Help, yes I need it.. Where and how to get it and afford it are another story. Life has left me with money troubles and no support to fall back on as you have probable read above.. I am now facing having my thyroid out due to nodules and everyone is saying it is no big deal but it is not their body part is it... Well depression is a pretty regular existance for me these days. I don't have much happiness or joy to spread. Work is work and not fun or enjoyable just a necessity. Exercise I cannot find time for... I wish I could but I am always working and when I am not I am either exhausted or trying to clean my appartment or do laundry. My wardrobe is really killing me.. I threw away my bigger clothes and now I am starting to need them. Man.. I could say life isn't fair but I know that would be a cop out. I try everyday in everyway to get out of this rut, but to no avail I am still here. I thougt work would help but it has only proven that the more you give the more they take from you.... Well.. enough wallowing.... I have to move on... I'll be back...
April 4, 2007
Apr 03, 2007
Life.... where have I been and where am I going...
I don't know the answer to this question.. I feel at 43 yrs of age I should know this but I don't...
Life has really done a left turn to me that I don't know where I am any more. I am alone and depressed and can't get out of the funk...
I spent 10 yrs with someone who decided one day he wanted to move on and has leaving me alienated from my family and friends and I can't seem to mend any of those relationships so now I am left alone and in debt up to my ears and no one to talk to or help and I am finding it really dificult to forge new relationships or friendships or any meaning. I guess being alone is my only option...but I am not liking it...
I really want a real friend but have no hope left of that ever being....
Sorry if you are reading this and saying what a looser... I really feel like one... I sometimes wish hadn't done this and I had stayed fat and unhealthy then I'd understand these feelings but now I don't... everyone made me feel like after wls life was going to get better... mine didn't
