ShaShen

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I am officially down 50 pounds - WOO HOO!!!  I am a little over 2 months from the surgery and VERY HAPPY.  I am handling the food (or lack thereof) well and that adjustment has been easier than I thought, so far.  What I still struggle with is making time for exercise, but I will not give up I work long hours and have a long drive to work and back but I am going to keep at it until I find a routine that fits.  I know I still have a long way to go but I am really starting to see see serious progress.  I went to a family gathering this past weekend and some of them had not seen me since before my surgery and they were all full of compliments and very supportive, they could see a drastic difference from the last time they saw me.  It felt encouraging because my coworkers and immediate family see me almost every day, they see the difference but it is more gradual to them (as it is to me).

As I am starting to have more energy and see results it got me thinking about a Weight Loss Surgery Bucket List so I have put one together for myself to have concrete things to look forward to.  In full discolsure I plaguerized some of this from others on the forums:

1. Buy clothes in whatever store I happen to be in.
2. Wear sexy underwear & lingerie 
3. Try some new sex positions.
4. No more pain when I walk
5. Wear high heals.
6. Go on vacations and fit in the seat of an airplane and go to places that involve walking.
7. Go to Theme Parks and be able to ride all the rides.
8. Sit on the floor and not worry about being able to get back up.
9. Fit comfortably in any theater seat.
10. Be able to do more around the house.
11. I want to be seen again. I’m tired of being ignored in stores.
12. Put on pantyhose and not break into a sweat.
13. Put my shoes and socks on easily, without almost killing myself.
14. Be able to give myself a pedicure again.
15. Breathe better, and not run out of breath at easy exertions.
16. Rule over food, not the other way around.
17. Get in someone’s car and not have to worry about whether the seatbelt will fit.
18. Go horseback riding
19. Be able to take a bath in a regular-sized tub
20. Be able to do things that have weight limits: like a balloon ride or a zip line.
21. Live long enough to play with my grandchildren
22. Cross my legs
23. Go kayaking
24. Learn ballroom dancing
25. Be light enough to be picked up and carried (at least a few steps)
26. Wear my Mom’s wedding band (at least on my pinky – she was tiny)
27. Renew my vows in a romantic location
28. Have professional photos taken of my whole family
29. Go Skiing

Here I go. . .My surgery is scheduled January 12, so excited, but also scared.  I have read so many success stories but it’s the other stories that worry me the most.  I have attempted to change my life and lose this excess weight soooo many times and have failed so much that in the last few years I haven’t even tried to do better.  I know I will be great at this in the beginning but will I stay the course? I am a good cook and baker and my friends and family love it when I cook for them and I love it.  I love to dine out too, I watch a lot of cooking shows I have every kitchen gadget known to man but it all needs to change.  I know that in order to make this stick I have to think about myself in a different way.  I have to focus on my health and my sense of well-being and stop making my life so food-centric.  I know a lot of people will say that I can keep my “foodie-ness” just be creative with healthy food but I think re-tooling my body also means I need to re-tool my brain.  Food has to be something that I need not something I want, I have to find a way to turn my attention to other things that bring me pleasure.  Sure I may get to a place where I can get back in the kitchen in a healthier way but for now I think it’s best to hang up my apron.

I am determined to focus on the positive, what life will be like to walk up to a set of stairs and not think “is there an elevator?”.  It will be nice not to worry about fitting into a seat or whether I can spend hours on my feet at the mall with my daughter.  A few weeks ago I went to a football game with my son and after the walk from the car, up the stadium ramps and to our seats I wanted to lay down and take a nap – I know (or I hope) that by next football season I won’t have that problem.  I want to take a dance class, and hike and just plain feel good again!