AbbyQueen2009
Fat Me
May 06, 2010
I started this journey weight 410lbs on May 9th will be my 6month Anniv. To this day (5/6/10) I have lost 113lbs which is amazing to me but I am starting to have some struggles:Keeping old habits away is one but my other struggle is I still see myself as the "fat me" no matter how many people tell me how good I look or how much I have changed....I still see myself as the fat girl weighing 410lbs I honeslty think that this is going to take a lon long long time for my perception of me to change. I look at my comparission pictures almost daily I have one hanging up at my desk at work so I can see it, one on the fridge at home, and one in my car.....why do I have to have all these constant reminders around because I still see myself as the "fat me" I just can't get over it.
The last few days have been really bad with it. I seen an old friend the other day for the first time since May 2009 so that was 7 months before I had surgery. And he isnt one of the ones that was very happy about my decision to have WLS he thought I was fine the way I was, but when I seen him he couldn't even look at me hardley he says its because I don't even look like the person he has known for 9+ years. He says I look great but it is just so different.....how do I even respond to that......It honestly hurt my feelings.
I love this journey that I am on most days...some days I stop and think what the Hell did I do...but then I look back at all my good days and remember this is why.....
I guess today is just my day to vent and get my thoughts out
