Saving Myself

Oct 22, 2011

 I have struggled with my weight my whole life..but I finally decided to have this surgery to change my life and become healthier. I needed to do this for my family,my kids,my future grand kids..but mostly importantly ME. I finally put enough value in myself to realize my life was worth saving.. I know it's still going to be a struggle,but there is no turning back now. There are so many reasons I could give for making this life change,but I can honestly name 4 that really made me take the leap..
 The first happened last year at my son's school..they have this great thing they do where you go eat breakfast with your kids called "Mornings with Mom." Of course I,being a fat mom wasn't dare going to eat in front of all those people. I just relished in the moment of being with my kids. I talked to another parent I knew and had her take a picture of me and the kids. It was time to leave and Ashley dashed off to her class as I walked out with Tim. The side walk sloped  as we came out of the gym and had a strange groove. I fell flat  out and hard! Tim just looked at me like he was scared..the kids did not laugh,but what really hurt was that an adult did,which in turn made a kid with her laugh. She stood there gawking like I was a sideshow while another adult pushed through to help me up. To this day I wish I could tell her how rude and hurtful that was.  I told Timmy I was OK and I left. I got in the car and just cried from humiliation. I had bruises everywhere and  my fibromyalgia milked it for days. I was embarrassed for myself and for my kid. I thought he was embarrassed of me,but I found out later he was so scared I was hurt that he went to class and cried. I told myself..No More! I can't be this person anymore!
 Reason 2,3,4 came to me all at once. In December 2010, my strong,healthy 25 year Veteran of the USMC stepfather had a major stroke. A week later my mom was admitted to the same hospital with kidney problems. Her health has decreased a lot these past few years,bouts of Pneumonia,going on oxygen permanently because her lungs only function at 30%,diabetes..etc. Then my dad calls and says,I hate to tell you this,but I have been diagnosed with Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease! At that point I was a wreck..I was pissed at God. I was like,seriously all three of my parents?! What did I ever do to you? I came to realize though,that those were signs I could not ignore. If I wanted to be around to see my kids have kids and not battle the diseases of my parents I had to make a drastic change..so that is what I did. I scheduled a consultation,got the ball rolling and 6 months later here I am..13 days out of surgery. I am already feeling like a new person,not just physically,but mentally. I see food a lot differently now and I see others around me wanting to make changes in their lives too. How awesome is that?! Times are a'changin' round here  and I'm glad about that. 
 Love to all, Arlyn♥

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