classyqueenbee
First Steppin' It (and another thing)
Sep 16, 2009
Two days ago I registered for my first seminar at Saint Joseph East Hospital. I am feeling good about this. I made the mistake of telling a girl I know about my decision to have wls. It was really by accident. She called, and I was on OH, which is my "thang" right now, and I told her I had been researching WLS. She asked what hospital I considered and I told her. The same day I registered, she called me and told me she had registered too. Good for you boo, but yours is not the type of energy I intend to be around along this journey. Long story.Anyhoo... I was wondering... I noticed many people say they seemed invisible at their highest weights. It is quite the contrary for me. I almost feel as though I am looked at as an sexual object. I am a mother of two, active in my church, and live a decent life, but there seems to be a tag (invisible to me) on my forehead that says "FREAK". When I do lose this weight, I will be excited to be seen as just "me". I have been blessed to be with some wonderful men, and have had great relationships in my life, but I often wonder if I am approached in such a way because I am big? Do people associate that with low self esteem? I like to think I am a sexy beast, but come on...I am propositioned daily.. and even if I give a man the opportunity to know me further (for my screening purposes), he thinks it's ok to approach me about sex, which ends in a cuss out, and me bringing out a side that can be veddy veddy ugly. lol. I want people to notice my depth- not my booty, thighs, etc... I will not be missing that aspect of being this size. Anyone else go through this?
