classyqueenbee
Today...
Oct 11, 2009
A rush of overwhelming sadness just came across me. I was reading over some other profiles, and I see myself in them. I am so very afraid of not waking up or having some type of complication. Even after selecting the bariatric center I do believe I am going to select, and seeing the statistics, and even though I do not have any known co-morbidities, I am afraid that I will be in the minority of those who lose their lives trying to change their lives. I am afraid that I will leave my children with no mother. That's really all I care about. My children. As a single parent, no one is going to love or care for my children the way that I do. On the other side of that coin, I can die like this, and our quality of life is starting to suck because I don't have the energy to do anything either. Hell, I could die in a car crash tomorrow.It's therapeutic to write this here, as I don't really care to share this with anyone irl. My flavor of the moment seems to think we can do this together. He works out to keep weight on him. I can't even bring myself to tell him how much I weigh, and I am not even sure if he is the one for me, although he has expressed he wants to marry me. I just ended an engagement in May, and I am really not ready to go down that road again yet, but that's an entirely different story -lol, but not really.
I am just waiting on the approval from the bariatric center, and for my initial day of appointments to be scheduled. I can take up to two weeks, so I will patiently wait.
