coolcrewof4
18 days out and ??????
Oct 25, 2009
I am sitting in my bed with a horrid headache that one would call a migraine. the light from the computer is killing my head but I want to get my thoughts out while they are freshly running through my brain.
I thought I was so ready for this whole change in my life WLS. I read my books, I listen to the seminars and countless other prep work. Now I am 18 days out and am clueless as to what I should eat. I know that sounds strange but really if you thought opening a box to eat was okay for 30 some years, you really don't know.
I read people's blogs about what they are making to eat. Some look good others look well nasty! Is it a mental block I have to climb over? I just don't; know what I am suppose to be doing. I am suppose to eat soft foods, which are anything I can mash with a fork. However, nothing taste good to me it all is blah or tastes like metal.
Oh, in addition to this inner battle of the brain I am losing my boobs. The 30 lbs have all gone from my chest which leaves my husband with some stupid ass comments. I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but they did hurt. I just keep thinking he is freaking out now..oh boy just wait till I have NOTHING left of a cleavage. I warned him, my friend who is 8 yrs post op who just had breast lift and implants warned him. It is like he could deal with all the fat rolls just don't take the boobs..what sense does that make.
Then I have the looming date of Feb 10, 2010 over my head. We are suppose to be going on a cruise with the friend mentioned above. It will be my first cruise and I don't want to be a huge fat girl. Just a plain old fat girl I can deal with just not the huge kind. My mental goal is be under 200 lbs which makes me have to lose 50 plus pounds. My friend (Shellie) said she did this and I shouldn't worry. But hey she also dropped a size a month and I am only lossin boobs so no size budge here unless you count my bra size. I don't; know I just feel so confused and alone.
Not sure what to do, when to do it or anything. Shellie keeps saying get to 6 weeks out and this feeling will pass. I struggle with depression as it is and this is not helping. I want to know my husband still desires me flat chested me. I want him to say hunny I am proud of what you are doing instead when I showed him a profile today that really inspired me (Kristy W) since her weight matched mine and so did her size. He said see you can do this....he explained it as though what I am trying to accomplish is do-able. HELLO I have lost 30 lbs, can't I at least get a pat on my back? Maybe I shouldn't show him people who inspire me because then if I don;t "match up" I wont be a failure to him. Heck I don;t even know anymore...I feel so lost
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About Me
Gloucester, VA
Location
26.1
BMI
Surgery
10/07/2009
Surgery Date
Oct 06, 2009
Member Since
