Peggy P.

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I have been doing very well with my weight loss up to this point. But I am becoming a bit obsessed with it. And I need to relax. I have been setting goals and meeting them - but this week things seemed to have slowed down - and so I decided to look back at my weight loss history and I can see that I am losing about 2 1/2 pounds a week. Sometimes I lose 1 pound a week and then the next week 3 and so on - so it is helpful to keep reminding myself that I am doing fine. I, of course, want to be at goal.  Today I am weighing 261.2 this morning - I want to be under 260 by next Friday ( even if only by a tenth of a pound) I feel like I can do it - but I realize I made this goal and a few weeks ago and it might be a bit of a reach.  Hence my obsessiveness.  I am seeing how losing weight and giving up eating tons of food is affecting me, however. Instead of dwelling on what I want to eat I am thinking about losing the next pound etc. Or getting into the next lowest size. And all of that is good except that I have to live my life too.  And let this process happen and not be in the "waiting" mode.  Waiting until I am thin, waiting until I hit some certain weight, get into a particular size, and so on. Because while I am obsessing about that and thinking about all that my life is zipping by and I am missing the beautful spring flowers and silly things my grandaughter is doing and jus generally my life.  I do yearn to be under 200 pounds - I haven't been there since probably 1987 ( and then only for a minute) . The last time I was this weight was in 2000. - seven years ago.  But today I am where I am - and my life continues no matter what. If I do keep losing at this rate I  will be where I was when I got married in 1999.  Three months from now.  The funny thing is that as this weight is falling off I am running through a size about every six weeks.  I keep running back to the thrift store to get the next size down. I am now  in a 22.  I bought some pants last month and they already too big. I have learned my lesson about buying stuff at full price..... But that is the other thing .... I want to wear some new fun clothes but everything is getting too big too quick. A great problem to have but now that I feel and look a little better I want some clothes to match my feelings.  I guess maybe what I will do is start cutting out pictures of clothes I would like to wear ... when. Maybe that will help me feel better in the mean time.  I am loving this journey - even if it feels slow at times.

I am now down 60 pounds!  In ten more pounds I will have lost more weight than I ever have in one time in my life!!! Wow. Quite a few years ago I lost about 70 pounds with weight watchers - I think I was around 28 at the time. And then maybe back when phen fen was the rage I dropped about 50 pounds.   And then finally I lost about 66 pounds with atkins in 1998.  And all of those times were pretty excruciating. This has seemed like a dream - I am dieting - at least watching my food and being careful with what I eat - but the band makes it possible!! Before I would fall off the wagon and go back to the old way. This time I can't I have had a few "bad" days where I wanted to just binge away since I have had the band... but I can't i can only maybe nibble a bit and then I have to stop.  What used to be a diet destroying event i.e. a binge lasting for days - now I have some yogurt or an extra string cheese. It is almost funny.  i am now actually getting too small for my size 24's - which were basically the last size in my closet.  i am between a 22 and 24.  I will probably be a solid 22 in a couple of weeks. A month ago I bought a pair of pants - that I thought I would be able to wear for several months and when I went to put them on - they were way to big! I was shocked. Its thrilling and odd at the same time.  I am also having some trouble wrapping my head around my smaller size. Sometimes I feel positively skinny! And then at other times when I look in the mirror I see my old fat self.  My skin is also not snapping back all that fast - but everything takes time. My face still looks ok. My arms are losing more slowly than I would like. And I NEED TO EXCERCISE. I did walk some this week and I have as one of my goals to excercise regularly 3 times a week for a continuous month.  I did take a walk earlier this week for a half an hour. And I felt great.  So that is still something I need to do more of. I am more active - and feel so much better - I love my band!!!

Its been nearly three weeks since my last post - things are going well - I am down 55 pounds and feel so much better! I am down from a size 32 to a 24 and I am nearly out of my last fat size in my closet - I have 24's from 5 -6 years ago - I really haven't been down below that size since ....probably 2000. Yikes 7 years ago. I gave my other clothes to my daughter Anna - who was in need of some new things to wear.  (She is still waiting to see if she can have the surgery as well) . Anyway today we took pictures of what I look like down 55 pounds - I can see the difference - and that feels great - but better than that I can FEEL the difference. I am not fighting to get into booths in restaurants anymore. I caught myself CROSSING MY LEGS the other day - not perfectly mind you - but i haven't even tried to cross my legs in years!  I have to move my car seat up closer to the steering wheel! Yea!   I have a pair of favorite jeans that hang on me. I just bought size 11 underwear!  I have energy. I am standing up more, moving around more,  My chirorpracter said my spine was doing much better. I have on rings that have been too small. I can wear an 18 inch necklace and it looks fine.  There are some bracelets that I couldn't get over my hand - that I now can wear.  I can lean over to my own pedicure with out passing out.  These may seem like small or even absurd victorires to some people - but to me they are major. They are illustrations of how much I COULDN'T do before the surgery.l. How much I was missing. 

My last fill seems to be working perfectly for me, I can eat - but not too much but at the same time, as long as I am careful I wont't pb either.  And I seem to be losing about 2 pounds a week. 
I  am thrilled with my progress thus far!

Ok - the truth is - I think I believed it would never happen - I have had a few sloooooww moving pieces going through but today was it - A piece of El Pollo loco chicken breast - YIKES!  I made matters worse by trying to "moisten" it with some potatoes and gravy - well to make a long story short about 10 mins of excruciating discomfort later - I started urping up potatoes into a bag - yes I was in my car with my husband looking on in horror!  Three urps later - we got home in time for some lovely slime strings to come up! Yuk - By then I was streaking for the bathroom and finally one more urp and there was the chicken. .....  I didn't think I had had that much to eat!!!

I am feeling a bit better. I can drink water. I hope I don't have that experience again. 

To make matters worse I was out of town over the weekend and I have horrendous constipation - I know too much information - but hey where else can we talk about this stuff.  I feel like I am blocked on one end and can't get anything in the other!! Just fabulous.  
My physicians assistant advised me to drink more water and take some Phillps! I hope tomorrow is a better day!

I have 3 cc - which is quite a lot for a second fill my doctor tells me. the fill went without a problem on Wed. and I started solid foods on Friday - and boy - can I tell I am much tighter. I can eat only about a cup of food at a time.  On Sat. I had half an omlette and some nibbles on a chicken breast and that was pretty much it. Tonight we went out for mexican food and I was able to eat one enchilada and a couple of table spoons of beans and guacamole.  And I was clearly too full!

So I am really liking this - of course my head is having a bit of trouble wrapping around the smaller amounts of food but I am starting to get the hang of it. The band just stops me. In fact it would be painful to eat more  - a couple of times I have almost gotten stuck and it wasn't fun - a lot of pain like a golf ball at the top of my stomach. The band lets me know.  Despite my best efforts my calories are hanging around 1000.
So I should lose weight pretty well!.  I hope so!!

Today I decided it was time for a second fill - my restriction seems to be getting looser and looser - I can eat more and more. But the band does tell me when I am eating too fast or not chewing well enough. I am a little nervous that more restriction may cause me to pb because I have this habit of gobbling my food - but I guess I am ready for more. I have had a pretty good weight loss - but I think it has been mostly because I am dieting - watching what I eat - but this week we went out to dinner several times and I was able to eat more than I should. 
So we will see on Wed. Otherwise I am loving the band - no real problems  - an occasional twinge - when I eat too fast - but no hard stops or anything.  I hate to mess with success - but I want to be just a bit tighter.
This board has been really great helping me to figue out what is what. The info I have gotten here has kept me going!

I am trying to work with the band for the past few days. I think I have restriction - although maybe not severe.  When I eat too much or too fast I feel pressure (like a gas bubble) near my band - If I really push it - it is mildly painful - and I need to wait a minute or so for it to pass which I assume is the food going down. So far nothing has gotten stuck - but I have been careful. I am filling up on about a cup of food - but I haven't really pushed it either.  I have also started making an intentional effort to drink a bottle of water about a half hour before any meal or snack - in an effort to take in more water. I am not drinking with my meal - at least not more than a sip - and only to clear my palate. 
Right now a lean cuisine feels like plenty of food. And I can just barely finish it.  I feel like can'[t remember what it was like before when I would eat a frozen meal and still be starving for more food like a sald, some soup and a dessert.  And like right now I feel too full to eat more - although my head sort of wants to. 
I guess what is going on is that the band is working and helping me to fill up quickly and alerting me when I am eating too fast etc.  So I guess its doing what it is supposed to be doing. A lot of people seem to report their fill kicking in at 2 weeks - so we will see if it gets even tighter.  What my confusion is - is that if this is a good fill and it feels like it might be then I certainly don't want to fool around with it and make it tighter - if that means I can't keep any food down. On the other hand I don't know if I am eating too much - I am watching my calories very closely and staying at 11-1200 which is supposed to be where I am - so we will see I guess how the weight loss goes this week! 

So I had my first fill on Valentines day. I was nervous but it only took about ten minutes and was hardly anything to panic about. The Dr. numbed the area - that felt like a mosquito bite and then I didn't feel the injection. He had me sit up and drink water while he tightened it - At one point it felt like the water was not going down and he loosened it a little and I was done!. The rest of that day and the next I was on liquids and as of yesterday I started solids. At first I wasn't sure if I was restricted or not - I was very careful to chew and stop eating if I thought I was getting full but my head hunger was there. Last night I was able to eat a 5 ounce hamburger patty. And this morning I had cereal and a string cheese and did not feel overly full  - but at lunch I had a chicken wrap and a piece almost got stuck on my second bite. I had still another bite and the pressure in my chest increased - so I stopped - It didn't get stuck but I didn't want to chance it. But now two hours later I am pretty hungry - so I am going to have some yogurt or something and see what happens.  I am glad I had that pressure feeling because I think I now have an idea of what being stuck is like - but I do want to feel full too! So I am going to keep fooling with different foods and see if the food I was having was the problem or not.

I am feeling great - so far I have lost 32 pounds and  now weigh 291!
Really have felt fine since about day three. Started back to work on Tuesday and I have had great energy all week. Not out of breath walking on campus, or changing trains. Not ready to pass out when I get home.   Its been great. I am down from a 30 -32 - to a 28 and I am wearing some 26's. I can see it in my face and that is great. I have several pants that are pretty much hanging on me and I will have to deal with clothes pretty soon. 
The dr. was thrilled with my weight loss and said I will get a fill in two more weeks. Which is great since I am starting to feel pretty hungry.... but I am keeping up with the proteins and for the most part am surviving this time called "lap band hell" My goal is to try to lose at least two more pounds by my fill. My newest goal is to get under 290 - I would be thrilled with 289. My weight loss has slowed down - I was losing about a pound a day there - but I have pretty much held at 291 this week. 
I want to try to set up some mini goals for my self. I have already hit my 10% goal which is really good - that is when there are significant health benefits from weight loss. So I am really pleased so far and want to maintain this weight loss. some other side benefits has been that I ma not as tired, so I have had more energy to do things, clean the house a bit and so on. I am hoping that as i lose weight maybe I can lose some clutter in my house!!

Its Saturday - six days after my surgery on Monday and I feel much, much better. My weight did normalize - this morning I was at 302.8 - so close to crossing back into the two world -  I so don't want to way in the 300's any more. Its my first goal - to get out of the 300's.  My next goal is to get to 10% lost - which will be 292.  I am feeling very positve and good about all this. By Thursday I was feeling 100% better and today I feel nearly back to normal - except that my incisions itch.  Most of my gas seems to have gone, my little sore on my mouth from the tube is basically gone.  Most of my muscle aches are gone.  I am not terribly hungry, but certainly bored with the liquid diet at this point.  I have been on liquids now since Jan. 4th with only two solid meals during that time.  So liquids are - well I am ready for a change.  I did try some Wendy's pureed Chilli last night and it went down fine. I also had some low fat pudding.  I had some grits the day before  and so far I have tolerated everything pretty well.  I am planning to continue like this  through next week - maybe adding  one purreed meal a day.  
I tried on some of my smaller clothes yesterday and I am back into my 28's - wow!  Of course I want all of this done and over with and I am now 130 pounds - but in time. It really, really, feels like for the first time in a long time that I might just be able to lose all this weight and be almost "normal looking".  Its like a dream come true and still hard for me to fathom that It could really happen! I just want to thank God again for His precious guidance and protection and love through this whole process and ask for His blessings on all the people that have helped, prayed for, supported me - both in my family and the people on this board!  Thank you God!!1