Peggy P.

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It's January and I am feeling a bit down at my holiday weight gain. Sugar just gets a hold of me and won't let go. But I am back on track. I've lost about 4 pounds of a 10 pound gain.  However, thank God for the band. Without it that 10 pounds would be 20+.  I may still be down 120 pounds from my top.. but I still want to eat like a 300 pounder!!  Its a new year. Time to set some new goals! I also have started writing articles about my journey at:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-I-lost-1000-pounds-in-50-years

I have been logging my food for several days now, and trying ( not completely successfully) to decrease the sugar. Last night I almost ordered a mcflurry and chocolate chip cookies... my favorite comfort food when I am tired, stressed and feeling like I "deserve" it. But stopped myself and got a salad.  I am still eating too fast. And have been pbing a lot lately. So I really have to get back to the basics.  no sugar. eat and chew slooooowly. No rice, pasta.. it gets stuck.  No brownies, doughnuts... hello... DOUGH -- nuts.. Dough doesn't work with the band no matter how much I wish it did. Tonight we had a broccoli casserole (frozen) that had rice. I ALWAYS pb on rice.. but I still think it will be different.   Its frustrating at times that I can't eat the way I used to. But I am so healthy now. I have a MUCH happier, healthier life now. I look so much better. So the trade off .. is that I DON'T get to eat the way I used to.. Gulping,  large quantities.  Massive quantities. sugar for days.  Fast eating.
So now I have to remember. I write it down. I drink water or some liquid BEFORE I am allowed to eat something.   I eat at meal times... and possibly a tiny snack.. but no nibbling all day.  Protein first. Chew Chew Chew.  I know these. I have to do them again.

Hi Everyone.. where have I been.. One of the wonderful things about the band is that after you get a lot of weight loss.. its like your life goes into high gear and you become "normal"  Actually.. that is wishfull thinking... I guess one of the things I have learned this past eight months is that I am never going to be normal and my food is never going to just be ok and I am always going to try to eat as much as I can and THAT is why I have the band. If I could have lost weight and kept it off any other way I would have.. but at nearly 60 years old.. This dog is not learning new tricks and she is definitely trying to regress to old ones!!
So - where have I been. I have been coasting. Good one day. Bad the next. Eating, pbing,  then going off sugar for a few weeks and then thinking I can eat it and back and forth... Its really quite tiresome. I have been down as far as 186 and now I am back at 200 and a bit.. ok a lot disgusted with my self. Its like the harder I try to lose weight the more I just eat... Realy frustrating. I know what to do.. but am not doing it. So here I am .. trying to be honest  and trying to get back to the routines that worked for me.  And reading and listening.   I am still down 124 pounds and that is awesome. But I CANNOT continue with this weird eating. I don't want to hurt my band. I am as tight as I can possibly be... my problem is me. and ICE CREAM. Goes right through.. Just don't want to give it up.
So its November and the holidaysare looming.. terror!  I don't need another 10 pounds.. MUST... DO... SOMETHING.... HELP.
I am asking God right now.. Help. Guide. Protect me.  Thank you .. all this community for being. here!

Ok. I have actually been back under two hundred for a few weeks but today when I weighed at the Chiropractors office ... the big scale with the weights you have to move... well I didn't have to use the 200 weight any longer!!!! Yay!!! I have been doing very well the past couple of weeks by increasing the protein and decreasing the carbs.... Duh. But with not too much trouble, no real hunger or craziness the scale is finally moving again and I am THRILLED. Maybe I will be able to get to my goal afterall!!!

Here it is the last day of Feb and I have FINALLY gotten back on track!.. WOOHOO!!!.  My new suregeon -- well Dr. Osbourne who works with Dr.  Liu  gave me a "talking to" this month about the weight loss and the food etc. I had lost like a pound. And frankly I was mystified. I was struggling with the calories but still writing stuff down and struggling to work out.  So she points out that I was eating a lot of carbs.  And I was.. I was hungry so I was trying to fill up with low cal kashi bars and frankly they were making me hungrier. She said for me to try to go back to a higher protein diet.  So I did. I got some atkins bars instead.. noting that the calorie count was higher... hmm But strangely since I have been on the band I haven't really tried atkins ... and counting calories and since the band prevents my eating... well whamo... I am dropping weight all OVER THE PLACE. It really was the carbs.  I am watching the calories and watching the carbs and it is a beautiful thing. I really thought I had reached a point where my body wouldn't let me lose any more. WRONG. It is dropping off wildly. Its like a dream. And I am not hungy. Now I KNOW this about protein.. but we fall back into old habits I guess and forget. I am so happy. I am back in ONEDERLAND. Back in all my smaller clothes. Back feeling really good. Back watching the scale move every couple of days.  And now with Anna my older daughter newly banded and Chris my younger daugter joining me on the atkins/protein diet... we are all gonna be GORGEOUS. Of course we already are... but I mean ... you know ... even more GORGEOUS.   So happy end of Feb. Happy Band day!!! Happy Happy!

So I went to my surgeon last week... and my new doctor...suggested I up my protein. Duh. Funny how we forget how to eat and fall back into our old habits.  I have been upping the carbs.. and consequently been getting hungrier.  I am excited about my new protein challenge.  I am on day three and feel better than ever and I really know this was the answer. I feel like if I can do this.. I will lose this last bit of weight! yay!!  Maybe things are looking up afterall!

I weighed 207.5 at the Chiro - but 204.8 at home this morning. Still not a pretty thing to wake up to Jan. 2nd to admit. Really, need to get back on track. Hence the blog.  I have joined the Bandgrads forum and and am posting. I am recording my food.  I am trying to get back to the basics. Water, water, water. Protein.  2 low calorie snacks. And thats it.
So its a new year. A new start.  And I feel trepidation. But one step, one day at a time.  I can do this.

Ok. So here it is December 29th. And my food was NOT good over the holidays. In fact it was downright bad.  So today I weighed 205.8. Less with jiggling. But I think that is what I weigh.  I have cut way back on the sugar stuff... not completely gone but nearly. I have been getting rid of all the crap lying around the house from Christmas. Today so far has gone well. I would like to be back in onederland for my birthday - 10 days from now.  Maybe too tall an order but I can try and at least be back in onederland by the end of January. I have joined the Band grads group and really need to start checking in more. It was a VERY HARD year. My brother was very ill and died. My best friend died. My oldest daughter had very serious health issues,  blood clots, strokes, a scary car accident.  I started on a Masters Degree and was teaching full time and have a two year old grandaughter who (though delightful) is very time consuming. And through all of that I gained weight.  How? I ate between meals, ate sugar, ate ice cream. Not too difficult.  I stopped being manic about writing down my food.  I cut back on my excercise.  Not a real mystery.  I have plenty of good excuses as to why I did it. Stress, sadness, fear, confusion, exhaustion. The Holidays became my excuse to binge. Woohoo!!! Food!. I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO WHERE I WAS.  The band keeps me from eating everything in sight. But I can still eat all the time.  TIME FOR TRUTH.
FOOD IS NOT MY FRIEND.  Food is not my place of solace, or entertainment, or companion or anything. It is nutrition, fuel. And too much makes me sick, and ultimately will kill me.  There it is. I had surgery to save my life. I have to get back on track.  A new year is dawning in  a couple of days. I want next year, when I am writing in my blog to be the year that I finally got to goal.  Thank you Lord for bringing me through a really tough year. At my lowest this year I was 188 for about a week. Most of the year I hung at about 190- 194.  That went up to 206 in October.  At the beginning of Last year I weighed 199. So I gained a net of 6 pounds this year.  Given the hideous year -- six pounds is pretty miniscule.  But I am up 18 pounds from my lowest.  And about 11 up from where my weight had pretty much settled.  If this sounds like rationalization, perhaps it is. I just want to try to really see what I have done.  I am ok. I am here. I am eating correctly today - right now.  Maybe its time to get back to one day at a time.  Today I will do the band rules, water before, not after meals.  3 meals, two (low calorie snacks)  thats it.  90 grams of protein - stay under 1350 calories.  Write down my food.  Ok. I can do this. Thank you Lord for being there and loving me always through this. . Amen.

Feeling panicy.. My weight is up and I know with the holidays it could get higher. I am doing everything I can to stop that possibility. I want to be back in onederland by Christmas and back to 194 by my birthday.
Tall order. I can do this. It helps by coming on here, blogging, and talking to others who also are feeling the holiday slide into food hell. On a positive note - I am thrilled that both my daughters are losing weight!! They are inspiring me to get back on track.  Lots to do for the holidays but I don't have to make it all food all the time.

Its been a hard couple of months... my brother died, my best friend died, and I am horrendously busy with teaching and working on a Masters Degree and being a grandmother, mother, wife, etc. Unfortunately, the way I deal with things is through food.  And for those that are curious it is possible to eat around the band.  Its called nervous nibbling all the time. A little bit now and a little bit later and a little bit later and soon we are talking real calories. I did go back and get an adjustment and that has helped a bit.  So now it really is up to me to try to temper my nibbilitis.
Hard to do.  When I am sad I want to eat and I have been very sad lately.
Thanksgiving marks the season of massive food eating and I am looking for ways to avoid the grazing, sugar etc.  I am going to try to drink my water, and eat sugar free stuff when I must nibble and hopefully I can get through this time with out any additional gain ( I am up 10 pounds) and actually I want to lose about 14 pounds in the next 10 weeks or so. We will see.  With God's help I can do this.