diamondsparkle08

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Things are goinn really well, we had to participate in a Health Risk assessment at work and if we passed we received a discount off of our health insurance and last year I didn't even bother going becaus ei knew because of my weight I would fail, but none the less I went this year and passed with flying colors. I was so excited when I stepped on the scale and it read 158.00 lbs OMG i could have screamed.. Well I have to have a consultation with the nurse and she began her whole spill about how i'm considered overweight according to her bmi chart and how I don't eat enough food or calories and that even though I work out three days a week I should increase that to four days per week, I smiled politely and wanted to stab her with her highlighter when she said well I wouldn't have guessed you had gastric i mean look at your neck theres no loose skin and you look so normal..like wls patients look like aliens????? huh anyway she gave me a crappy pedometer that had already registered eight steps just by the box shaking and asked did I need another I said...NO THANKS!!! and walked away. I must say this has really been an amazing journey..the compliments I receive now feel long overdue..Anyway I don't eat breads,sweets, pasta or popcorn I can't tolerate anything with more than 5 grmas of sugar or I'll dump and dumping is the worst feeling in the WORLD!!!! if you have not yet experienced it I have maybe five times unintentionally.Well I'm a size 8 now in womens and 10/11 in juniors...I still have my tummy though which I was considering getting tucked and my breast reduced but I'm too pleased right now and hopefully if I keep excersing I can use the money for a new wardrobe....I LOVE TO SHOP NOW!!!!!! just call me a fashionista/glamour junkie...well I hope everyone os doing well...muah

I'm finally ready to committ to a workout plan my dr said everything looked great all my labs and everything were good I just needed to start walking 40 minutes everyday so Monday I go head to head with the gym......I've gotten some great diet plans since my dr wanst me to ge down to about 125-lbs... I have to work on that I'm so comfortable in my twelves yes size 12! I don't want to budge but per my dr to decrease my risk of diabetes and all that other stuff I have to get smaller  well I'm going to follow a strict diet exercise routine for one month and document my progress, my co-worker said my body looked great I just need a body shaper to reduce the stomach flab yeah ok whatever..well I've posted some clothes in the clothing exchange will start shipping out as soon as i gethem was and packed. until next time......

I've found a new PCP he is very nice, very knowledgable about the procedure. He also informed me that the weight can and will come back if proper nutrition is not followed. He ws telling me how he had one patient who weighed about 388 lbs lost about 150 during the "honeymoon" phase and gained back 80 because she fell back into her old habits of eating and had taught her body how to hold more food. I fit comfortably in size 13 jeans now and if I want to be cute I can wear size 12 jeans and I dumped so much the first month If I even see candy or sugar my stomach cringes. Well any who I take my vitamins and supplements religiously. I weighed in at 172.4 at the drs office and I'm only 3 1/2 months post op. You know I hate when people say wls patients took the easy way out changing a lifestyle you've been accustomed to all your life is not easy, trying to explain to your family why you can't eat this or that when everyones out together or just tasting a spoonful of a family dish because you know what will happen later is not easy. I still can't believe I was blessed with such an opportunity. I go to my surgeon and nutritional counselor next Thursday so I'll post my comments then.

It feels soooo good now, I see what everyone means when they said I would do it all over again in a HEARTBEAT!!!! Its weird you know looking at my old pictures and thinking what the or how the hell did I let myself get so big??? Oh yeah water is my best friend now, not splenda or crystal light but plain 3.99 for a 24 pk of water.I'm going to post some of my bigger pics just so everyone can see how far I've come guess what I'm a size 13/14 in jeans YAYYYYYY and a size L in tops no more 22 or 2x's and in my work shirt which is a standard polo I'm a SMALL!!!!!! wow it almost brings me to tears and people are so muc more nicer to me now and the fellas well they are falling out of the woodworks all colors shapes and sizes.....

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CW-172

I'm feeling much better now and I am so proud of my decision. I've started working out three days a week and am eating sensibly. I bought a digital sale that analyzes bodyfat percentage and water percentage. It's going great in that area of my life but I'm slipping in other areas. It's like I'm being pulled in every direction. I just don't understand anymore I've been on my own since I was eighteen years old, I mean I worked hard to get where I am and to get the things I have, and now that my life is somewhat in order everyone wants something from me my sister gave her son up to the foster care system and I am the only one that can get him out from the family beacause I'm the only one that's stable without any priors, I'm already a single parent of one, and I'm thinking how in the world can I take care of another child. I'm trying to do the best I can...it's as if I can't catch a break everytime I turn around my family needs something and I'm thinking...where were yall when I needed you. No one was there it was just me...sorry guys I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed right now I made an appt with the psychologist I saw during the pre-approval process. I just don't want to become so stressed that I completely lose my mind. I've always been told it's always the darkest before dawn....it's just that it's gets so hard sometimes....it's often too hard to see through the pain.

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Hi Everyone, I hope everyone is doing wayy better than I am just got out of the hospital had to have my gallbladder removed. Remember the post where I kept saying i was nauseated and couldn't eat well i always assumed this was just a side effect of surgery, that was until I passed out twice and had to be rushed to the ER and found out my gallbladder was the size of a ballon and had it burst I would have been probally dead. I hope I'm not scaring anyone out of your decision but this decision is serious and you only have one body, if I had not passed out I would have kept trying to keep goign and i probablly would have been in a world of trouble. Let me tell you nothing in the world matters anymore when you're on the operating table again and you realize for the second time this could be your last. Good news is my surgery went well I'm so sore and bloated but I have an appetite and I can swallow my meds...don't ever stop taking your meds....please if that's the last thing you do and so I wish everyone well..and pray I get better....

well things are going well I need a new wardrobe I think well I don't even know what size jeans I wear now. my shirts don't look that bad but they are loose. I'm going to a concert in May and hopefully by then I'll be somewhat stabalized and be able to find a nice outfit by then. I've been tolerating a little bit more now, I keep forgetting I'm only 2 months post op, I have at least another year to go before I see the true results. i'm just so happy that i was blessed enough to have this surgery, sometimes when i feel that I'm regretting my decision, i'm remined how hard I fought to get to this point and how some other people are still fighting just to get approved. Also I know this is somewhat personal , but hey who cares we are all family here, when i was heavier I found myself uhmm how do I say this just allowing men to you know treat me any kind of way and not really caring, I would always forgive them and give them chance after chance because i guess in a way i felt that well I should just be glad that they are interested in me, but know I have put a end to that when I recognize the signs of an abusive person or a person who I know won't be able to commit, I immediately let it  go, and don't look back. Even the "friends" that I used to be with before I've let them go to because there's no use of holding on to dead weight. I've been reading a self esteem book and working on myself because not only is this a body transformation, this journey is also a mental transformation. Usually I would be too embaressed to admit something like this but the first step in healing is admitting that there was a problem. well that's all for this week. I'm out

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CW-171

Ok well I got my first tattoo and my daughter poking it hurts worst than getting it ...ahhhh.. new confidence new things I guess, everybody is saying "oh my goodness, you look so different...." Huh like did i really look a hot mess b4?" Anyway Ladies I've come to realize wether you weigh 150 lbs or 250 lbs guys are still jerks...It doesn't matter this guy I'm seeing is such a jerk I'm like I thought it would be different now I mean the quality is better but the personality still sucks.....Anyway moving on....for my pre-op babies who have not yet crossed over just be advised water will be your best friend, when you're out don't even try telling yourself, well just this one time I'll just get what everyone is is getting because you'll just end up embaressing yourself later when your mouth gets that funny feeling and you have to take off running to the bathroom. All my clothes look a hot mess on me, i look like someone who doesn't know how to dress for their body type but its just that I haven't broken down and bought new clothes because just a couple of months ago these were my clothes i loved them and fit into them...Now its like my clothes belong to a stranger. well anyway thank you for everyone who reads my madness and continues to encourage me...Love ya as always I'm out........

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Well not much really has changed well except for of course my body, I need new everything now the only thing is though I don't want to invest a whole lot of money into good clothes until my weight stabalizes, my scars are barely visible now, I was trying to show them to someone at work and could only find one and even that one was faint it just looked like a stretch mark. I sometimes think well if i was "normal" I would be eating this this or this, but the thoughts fade, I had been making a conscious effort to be active even though I'm not ready to like go head to head with a gym even though I just might get a membership to Planet Fitness next Friday. Well my WOW moment came I wanted to share mines since I've seen them on so many pages. I can cross my legs and I mean the sexy cross and sit and fell so comfortable before this was almost impossible. Well until next time illustrious ladies and gents...I'm out.

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CW-185

Well I'm suppose to be transitioning into solids this week but its been really hard, i ate 1 cooked brocolli stalk today and lets just say it ended back up in the toliet in five minutes and it did not go through digestion if you catch my drift, it seems after everything i eat this happens i know I should consult my dietician but no amount of talking can change the way I am feeling. I am very excited to see my transition pictures I'll post them when my composite is complete. The weird thing though is even though my clothes feel looser and people can tell the difference in the mirror i still look the same to me...I don't know I guess I've always looked at myself differently than everyone else. My relationship is alright I guess to be honest its really hard being in a relationship especially a new relationship because you really don't want to tell your new guy right upfront because everyone associates wls with extremely big people which in my case wasn't true. Well anyway i lied and told him I have an eating disoder and he decided that when I was "ready" we could sit down and talk about it. I'm the type who have always had a boyfriend because lets face it I love company. no one at works knows what I did they just assume I'm young and just must be loosing baby weight. Well until next time......I'm out

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