ednalewis

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ITS BEEN A JOUNEY OF DISAPPOINTMENTS BUT I CAN ONLY BLAME MYSELF...I JUST CAN SEE ME IN A SIZE 14 BY NOW BUT I LET THE DEMONS CATCH UP TO ME.....I KNOW I GOT A REAL PROBLEM WITH SWEETS AND THE HOLIDAYS HAS NOT HELPED BUT I HAD BIGGER PROBLEMS I LET MY EX IN MY WORLD AGAIN AND ALL HE WANTED WAS ME TO BUY CHIPS CAKES AND BEER....I ALWAYS HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH HIM BUT HE DON'T WANT ME TO WORK-OUT JUST BE WITH HIM......I GAINED 10LBS....HE TOLD HE WAS WITH ANOTHER WOMAN A WOMAN WHO WORKED WHERE I WORKED AND IT HURT LIKE HELL I HAVE NOT REALLY RECOVERED FROM IT YET BUT I'M TRYING TO GET BACK ON TRACK..AND I KNOW I CAN DO IT. JUST GOING TO TAKE SOMETIME....HAPPY HOLIDAYS TOO ALL AND YOUR FAMILIES.MAY GOD BLESS YOU.

I'm still staying  strong  going through some stalls and some cheat days but I still pick myself up the next day. during my cheat days I still excersise 3 x a day. I finally can start to feel good...i was 256 then all of a sudden I'm 263 and it had me going there but i found on problem why I was drinking too much chocale milk so now the scale is moving I'm still proud of myself....I just refuse to give up my progress this time to go back to being fat. 

I WENT TO THE DOCTOR LAST FRIDAY AND HE NOTICED THAT I LOST SOME WEIGHT AND I HAD PERFECT BLOOD PRESSURE I WAS ALMOST GOING TO STOP MY DIET BUT GOD IS GOOD. I WAS IN THE 266 263 262 ABD THEN 263...I WAS GOING TO STOP AND EAT JUNK FOOD BUT GOD SPOKE TO ME THROUGH HIM....WELL TODAY I WEIGH 256.6

AND I KNOW I GOT THIS.

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING WHAT THE SCALE SAID WAS 259.5 I'M FINALLY OFF THE 60 MARK AND ITS BEEN A GREAT DAY.

AND I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT I STILL THINKS LATER ON I WILL TRY AND GET WEIGHTLOSS SURGERY OR NOT..WHEN YOU PUT DOWN YOUR WEIGHT AND POST YOUR FOOD..AND EXERISE DOWN ITS MUCH EASER AND I GAVE ME A GREAT B-DAY GIFT. THANK GOD EVERYTHING IS ON COURSE. 

I'M FINALLY IS HAPPY WITH MY EXERSISE LOSING INCHES 3 INCH THIS JUNE I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF..I BEEN LOOKING INTO WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY GETTING OFF KAISER FOR SO MANY REASONS THIS WAS THE LAST STRAW

I ASKED MY DOCTOR FOR A REFERAL TO SEE A DIETICAN BUT HE TOLD ME TO GO TO THIS CLASS SO THE PEOPLE CALLED ME AND SAID I CAN ONLY DO THE CLASS ONLINE...WHEN YOU WANT TO GET HEALTHY THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING OR SOMEONE GETTING IN THE WAY.

LOST 2 LBS SO FAR THIS MONTH ..ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY I WAS THINKING THE DS...BUT SINCE VITIMINS COST SO MUCH AND TAKING 25 PILLS A DAY I WILL SEE IF THE SLEEVE WILL WORK I KNOW ITS A TOOL AND IT CAN ONLY WORK IF YOU STAY ONTRACK SO ITS A RACE TO SEE IF I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN...MY LIFE IS GOING GOOD HAD SOME STRONG CRAVINGS OF A CAKE TOOK A BITE AND THEN THEW IT AWAY, I REALIZE I HAVE A EATING DISORDER AND I HAVE GOT TO RELIZE IT..EVEN IF I DO GET THE SLEEVE OR ANY SURGERY.

I don't know if its losing weight and excersing it I Just have a happy feelings don't know if its going last. its a high that only comes within me..And God I thank you.

my real purpose is to be positive and if i look back time after time I will not strss myself out.Because tomorow is another day to wake up blessed. it seems the scale stops now and then but i'm losing inches..and that is always a 

good thing. i found someone on youtube that has inspired me too just do my best and we all have struggles...

This week went very well.and I feel blessed.

I was wondering when the scale was going to say its working...but I'm so happy..I'm going to keep pushing myself until the end...I been resuring DS doctors if I can't keep doing what I'm doing..I'm really motivated this time can't wait until a lower number next week,,

I'M REALLY HAPPY I CAN DO 40 MIN ON MY BIKE AT HOME..EVERYDAY I PUSH TO A HIGHER LEVEL. 20 MIN 1HOUR AFTER MY BREAKFAST AND 1 HOUR AFTER MY DINNER FOR 20 MIN. AND ITS WORKING OUT GREAT.I BE SORE IN THE MORNING BUT IT ONLY SHOWS ME HOW MUCH I AM WORKING ON MY GOAL FOR NOVEMBER..NOT TO USE A SEAT BELT EXTENDER THIS TIME SO I WON'T BE CRAMPED UP..AND JUST ENJOY MY FLIGHT,,I'M SO EXCITED...................

THE EX CAME BY BUT DID NOT SAY MUCH...................BUT WHEN HE WENT HOME HE START TO TEXT ME IN A UNFRIENDLY WAY...I WAS ON MY BIKE AND I REFUSE TO TEXT BACK..AND WHEN I GOT OFF MY BIKE..I DID NOT EVEN READ THE TEXT I JUST DELETED THE WHOLE CONVERSATION I REFUSE TO LET ANYONE MAKE ME WANT TO USE FOOD TO SABATAGE MY RESULTS NOT THIS TIME.

I'M FINDING THAT THE DEVIL LIKES COMPANY AND HE IS ALWAYS AT MY DOOR TO COME IN...I HAVE CHEATED WITH HIM I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE GRAHM CRACKERS IT HAS A SMALL CALORIE COUNT BUT I FOUND MYSELF EATING THEM AND ALMOST ATE THE WHOLE BOX..I'M TRULLY NOT READY TOO SAY NO ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS AT MY FRONT DOOR.

I GAINED 3 LBS BUT I'M BACK TO BASIC AGAIN EVEN WANTING TO TRY AND FIND A DOCTOR WHO WOULD TAKE MY CASE FOR WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY..A PERSON WHO HAS SCAR TISSUE.....BUT I KNOW THAT KAISER WOULD COST ME A LOT OF MONEY..I'M GOING TO CHANGE INSURANCE IN NOVEMBER JUST TO HAVE MY SURGERY.IF I CAN FIND THE RIGHT DOCTOR. BUT I'M STILL DOING MY DIET I'M DOWN TO 269 LBS I WAS 268 BUT WITH THOSE CRACKERS I WENT UP TO 271. ANOTHER WEEK I WILL NOT OPEN THAT DOOR AGAIN.

IT SEEMS I'M STAYING AT 270 LBS FOR A WHOLE 2 WEEKS WHAT IS GOING ON MAYBE I NEED TO HEAD TO A GYM OR GO WALKING I HAVE NOT GOT MYSELF MOTIVATED YET BUT IT SEEMS I NEED SOME HELP RIDING ON MY BIKE FOR 10 MIN A DAY IS NOT WORKING JUST TRYING TO GET MYSELF OUT THE DOOR AND OPEN A DOOR TO THE GYM..IS A GOAL I HAVE TO ACHEIVE. AND I'M GOING TO TRY AND SIGHN UP FOR WATER AROBICS.

MY NEXT GOAL