EmmiePie

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Finally!!!!   I am now in the 100's!!!!   133 pounds are gone :D   It feels great after being stalled at 202/203 for weeks and weeks. 

I went to Cuba the first week of Feb. and managed to eat fairly well the whole time there.  I paid attention to protein intake and had a good mix of vegetables and carbs as well.  Great thing is that I didn't gain any weight the whole time there.  I didn't lose any weight, either!   I took lots of crystal light and hawaiian punch single serving packets to mix with vodka and water while enjoying some beverages by the pool or beach.  

I have been slacking on getting physical activity in.  Maybe if I ramp it up, I can stop whining about my weight stalling ;)  

Where has the time gone?  Where did 95 freaking pounds go???   Yes, that's it, I am now 95 pounds lighter from my first meeting with my surgeon.  I am very exciting to be nearing the 100 pound mark. 

I bought 2 outfits at H&M and proudly told everyone at work when I got compliments on the awesome red dress.  "I bought a dress at H&M!!!"   Seriously, being able to buy clothing at any store still boggles my mind.  My brain is still stuck at 320 pounds and I look at a piece of clothing and automatically think...that will never fit me.  But then I have to talk to myself and convince myself to try it on before dismissing it altogether. 

There have been several occasions where I will catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror in passing and not recognize myself at all.  Once at the border, I thought someone in the next line of cars over was staring at me.  I looked and looked away several times thinking "that person is smiling and staring at me, do I know her?"   Then after a minute or so, I realized it was me!!!!   (I was looking into a mirrored panel behind the border guard and didn't know it at first) 

Oh ya, and I can cross my legs...and fit comfortably into booths! 

Cuba in February and then downhill skiing in Quebec 2 weeks after that.  Losing weight is becoming costly! :D

So my body is changing far faster than my brain can adapt.  I can dig it, its just really weird...and fun!  

So I started this journey back in March with my first surgeon appointment meet and greet.  I stepped on the scale at 331lbs and remember being in tears throughout the rest of the appt. not realizing I had gained so much weight.  I weighed 299 when I was 9 months pregnant :( 

Somehow in that following week I lost almost 10 pounds without trying.  I hovered around 323 for the longest time.  I had cut back my caloric intake drastically in the weeks coming up to Optifast.   I started by drinking a Premier shake for breakfast and then nothing til lunch.  My weight didn't budge.  Then I start Optifast on June 22 (the first day was sheer hell) and here I am almost 3 weeks later and the last I weighed myself, I was 305.  Since I haven't been on the scale in a few days, I'm hoping that its going to show me that I've made it to the 200's and have dropped my bmi to below 50 (that's my goal for surgery). 

I'm excited and looking forward to surgery.  Nervous as hell at the same time.  *blink*

So I sit here with 2 different kinds of chocolates.  I'm not hungry cause we went for my last meal at East Side Marios tonight but I'm trying to eat chocolate anyways....kind of like I'm in mourning. 

I keep saying I'm more nervous about doing opti than the surgery itself.  I guess we will see come tomorrow how well I get along.  3 weeks tomorrow I will be in Toronto having my surgery!

I got home and checked the phone to see Dr. Glazer's number on call display...with a voice mail waiting.   Hmmmm  So I checked the message to find that Dr. Glazer wants to book a one year post-op appointment with me now.  Has this happened with anyone else?  Do they usually do this?   Just interested to find out!

So Summer is fast upon us and I attended a BBQ today.  I had one drink there and another after Supper tonight.  I know we can't have alcohol before and after surgery....but I don't start Optifast until June 22nd and I keep telling myself 'well one or two here and there won't hurt'.  I haven't drank since March really so I'm hoping my liver stays small...eeeep.

So tomorrow I head back to Toronto!  I am having an ultrasound on my heart to confirm whether or not I have a heart murmur; and if I do, hopefully find out what's causing it.  I then skip over to my surgeon's office to get the final word on whether or not I'll be having the surgery (based on the results of my ultrasound). 

I feel slightly left behind as everyone else is either on Optifast or about to start with a confirmed surgery date....

Here's keeping all my fingers and toes crossed!

The past few days have been super stressful due an incident related to my line of work.  My job is already pretty stressful (pretty fast paced and have to be good at multi-tasking) so its been a doozy to deal with.  I've been trying to be more cognisant of my eating habits and I'm not really a stress or emotional eater.  In times like this food is usually a turn off for me.  I see food now as fuel as opposed to items of gratification.  Its a hard balance, thought, cause some nutritionists/dietitcians/journalists/etc...will say its normal for us to love our food and to enjoy eating.  After my first few sessions, particularly after the gastric bypass class, it seems like we're being taught to see food as pellets of energy.  Someone in my class commented about never being able to eat great tasting, flavourful food ever again.  Not so, says the dietician.  I'm great when it comes to baking and ok when it comes to cooking.  I just need someone to give me the low fat/no calorie version of cooking tools.  I know basic things...but what I'm going to need is some of those weight loss surgery cookbooks/recipes.  I've looked at a few different chapters locations and they never have them in store.  On my list is a great book I saw at costco: cooking with Quinoa.  Must buy it!

I haven't weighed myself in a few days now.  Since I can apparently lose and gain 10 pounds in the same week, I'm at super frustration levels.  Time for a nap! 

So I officially cut out all caffeine.  I was down to maybe 1/2 a diet coke per day and I said...what the heck...might as well do it now.  The last time I drank a diet coke, I noticed how I felt afterwards...and it wasn't all that great, actually.  I've replaced it with crystal light and sugar free kool aid.  More water intake is a good thing   Except for this 2 day headache...

The 26th is the next appointment date for me.  :) 

I can't believe I'm as excited as I am...to be driving all the way to Toronto and sit in a classroom for 3 hours to learn about gastric bypass. 

As of two days ago I had lost about 8 pounds since seeing my surgeon.  Good news is: I didn't do a thing to precipitate it.  Bad news:  I've gained 3 pounds over the past two days....and this was after stepping up my activity level knowing I was losing!!!!

Moral of the story is....stick with the chocolate bon bons :P  I officially hate my thyroid