"Well you're a big guy"

Jun 27, 2016

A hundred plus pounds down and the lady Doc doing my prostate check says to me when talking about med dosages, " well you're a big guy" doh hh hh. So not only did I have some woman that I don't know inserting a finger in my nether regions with of course an audience of one female nurse. While I was still reeling from that experience she uttered those words. On the plus side of things all is well with the old prostate except for the fact that it's decided to put on muscle mass which has prompted me to have to take medication to allow for the normal shall we say the flow of things to resume. I was bummed at first I had lost over half of my regain at that point and was feeling pretty good about myself, this just served as notice that I've still got a long way to go before I won't be that big guy. To be honest I probably will always be a big guy at six feet and with broad shoulders, I don't think that tag will ever go away for me even at goal weight. I've also come to the realization that, I'm not going to be Hollywood handsome once I reach my goal. What I will be is slimmer, healthier, and active. I have lose skin that hangs around my upper arms, lower stomach, and inner thighs . I practice cover up like most of us do with clothes. I do have muscles they are just covered in extra skin. The only time it's a real issue is when at the gym when doing pull ups my apron of fat and skin hang down as my shirt rides up, or when using the whirlpool or steam room. Up and until this point I haven't really been self-conscious about it, I was mostly like I don't give a damn, but recently I have caught a few folks staring at me, so now I'm a little embarrassed I've never worn a shirt while in the pool except for when outside as I get horrid sunburns. Skin removal surgery is probably not going to be in the cards for me. I'm married and my wife loves me no matter what, She loved me at 383 lbs and she'll love me at 210 lbs with loose skin. The plan for now I guess is to find a nice swim shirt to wear when in public.  Well, this was on my mind and I wanted to get it out, they say it's good to journal your feelings especially if you don't have a lot of friends. I'll address the friend topic another, day though. 

1 Comment