Emotions

Feb 21, 2012

 I have no idea WHY...but out of the blue, I got very emotional.  I am not an emotional person, I dont cry at movies, funerals, or even on a regular basis.  
I guess I was thinking of the path I have taken to get to this point.   All the very, very exhausting HARD work....blood sweat and tears for so long.  

I think about the things in life that I have let pass by me because I wasn't where I wanted to be physically.  
I think of people that I have pushed away, marriage that I lost, how I have felt about myself for sooo long.....it is all coming to the surface, and I am remembering....I feel such a loss of the past, but also such relief for beautiful things coming my way!

It is unimaginable for me to think of being able to set goals, and actually be able to achieve them!  I still cannot wrap my mind around how I might look, what size I may get down to, or the fact that physically, I will be able to do so many of the things I have set aside due to my weight!  I sit here with tear-stained cheeks, in both regret for the lost years, and anticipation of the years still to come!  
My load I have carried for so many years seems lifted....finally, finally, finally, I am getting the much needed help to become the person I truly am!  I know the road is still going to be hard, it will come with it's own challenges, but I KNOW this road will take me where I want and need to be!  
I can honestly say, I am ready...I am ready to turn my head away from the memories, regrets and sorrows, and look with joy and anticipation toward the future!  

I feel so blessed!!!

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