HappyMango

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I haven't posted as much as I would like...it's been up and down with recovery.  A few issues with pain and not staying on top of my pain meds.  A little bit of over-doing-it.  A little bit of not getting enough calories.  A little bit of just being overwhelmed with it all!

So I think I'm pretty normal on my first week of post-op.


The ONE thing that I don't remember reading about in the forums was the wounds.  The 5 little holes are almost in a circle and one of mine is JUST below where my bra stra layes on my chest bone.  I think being 5'4 and having a very short waist made mine look different than the pictures I've seen of other's incisions.  Anyhow my incisions prevent me from wearing from almost all of my pants.  There are 5 but none are linear to each other and almost form a perfect circle and it's hard to figure out where to put my waist band.  I never owned low-rider items because I always thought they looked rediculous and the other thing is...now I have a bit of belly that hangs out past my shirt.  I already have a "shelf" from having had two csections that involved 10lb babies, so I have  LOT of tummy.  It's frustrating to not be able to cover your belly with your pants and then your shirts not being long enough.  I don't want to buy anything BIGGER just to cover that.  I'm hoping the incisions heal a bit faster because right now to even have a loose pair of pants over them is uncomfortable.  Plus I've noticed my belly is swollen.  It's getting better but it's over-all, swollen.  But considering I had surgery on Monday and it's only Saturday, an injury even takes time to heal. 

Anyhow, get some nightgowns for sleeping.  I was always and JUST a PJs girl and I'm having trouble with keeping my pants rolled down and keeping them on my butt.  (I never really had a big butt) 

So gotta keep in the liquids, get in the calories and push proteins first!

I should have posted this here earlier...sorry and it's a long one!

My RNY was on Monday, Oct 17th and I honestly believe the outpouring of love and prayers and well wishes from here certainly helped surround me in positive light so my surgery went great.

My surgery was at 8am, we arrived around 6am for preop. Had to pee in a cup to do a pregnancy test (obiviously negative), then go through some more explanation of the surgery. Sign about 5 more pieces of paper and was fairly nice. The boyfriend got to be with me for about an hour of it. He was so supportive but I could see the worry on his face.

I don't remember leaving the pre-op room to go to surgery. I only remember three things about the OR... 1. They were fretting over the fact that they forgot to pull out the arm rest for my left arm (the main IV one). 2. They held the oxygen mask ONTO my face, and for some reason that struck me as rude, lol. 3. I said, "I think you added something to the gas in the mask!" I heard laughter and they said that actually it was the drugs in my arm. That's it...

Then I woke in recovery. I was sore. Really sore and told them it was overwhelming and they stated they were going to fix it and give me oxygen since it was going to be such heavy doses of pain reliever. I think I went out again. Then I woke and was seriously worried about the boyfriend, and said, "Did anyone tell Kevin I was OK and that I made it?!" The nurse said, "Yes I am 100% sure the surgeon went out and told him." I said, "Are you really really sure? He was so worried and he loves me and he's my emergency contact." (yes you get loopy off the drugs)

I asked if he could come back and they said we would meet him up in the room. I got so that I needed, NEEDED to feel human contact. Everyone was adjusting my oxygen, my body, my IVs and so I said, "OK I have a weird request, can you hold my hand for just a moment? I need the human contact and if Kevin isn't here, I need just a moment, I promise it won't be long" The guy nurse was very sweet and held my hand. I have since heard that anesthsia will make you weepy/mushy. That was all I needed. Then they soon took me to Kevin. I asked what time it was and they said 12noon.

Seriously people, my head TRIPPED. It had only felt like 5 mins and that I was just joking with the people in the pre-op room.

I saw Kevin in my room as they wheeled me in and I was never so happy to see someone in my entire life. He was/is gorgeous. He sat by me and held my hand. I went in and out. I think I talked a bit and told him I was fine and asked him if the surgeon had talked to him and he said, "Yes and he said everything went exactly as planned." Then he started to tear up. I think the overwhelming waiting for this surgery and how was I going to be done had gotten to him.

The surgery is over and I am now home. I went through healing process very very well. Stay ON TOP of the medications. Don't be a hero. I accidently let him slip a couple of hours too long and really paid the price of pain, overwhelming coldness and just generally felt bad. I walked the second day, not the first and didn't stop. Home now. Comfortable but I miss the hospital bed with it's up and down features. I miss the morphine button. Now I have to swallow everything! lol!

Overall it's been great. Sorry for long post, I just know as a pre-op, I never really heard someone describe their actual surgery portion or what happened to them.

It was a slightly delayed, long appointment...things were running a bit behind in the clinic, so my experience wasn't necessarily the best BUT my surgeon and his staff were so nice, so it was hard to be upset.  This office actually has several surgeons on staff and it's a teaching hospital, so you get to talk to quite a few doctors sometimes.  One lovely head resident who is not an attending came in to give me the "down low" again and see if I had any questions.  I need to try to scan in his drawing so I can put it as a picture...suffice it to say I said, "I sure hope you all do better surgery than you do artwork!"  He laughed a good old fashioned belly laugh.  I know I picked the right team!

Anyhow here where my questions:

1.  How soon can I shower afterwards
Doc Answer:  Next day.

2.  How soon can I hold my son (he is almost 3)
Doc Answer:  You can sit on the couch and have him sit with you, or you can lay with him as soon as you'd like, just NO picking him up for 4-6 weeks.

3.  How soon can I have sex?
Doc answer:  As soon as you feel like, just no pressure on your abdomen and streanous "core" muscles usage for 4-6 weeks.

4.  Can I start taking my vitamins as soon as I get home?
Doc answer:  Yes

5.  What pills do I take the day of surgery?  (I take a blood pressure med)
Doc answer:  Do not take the blood pressure pill the day of surgery, but let's also confirm with anesthesia.  (which I did and they said same thing)

6.  How long will I have to say in hospital?
Doc answer:  We plan to have you walking by 5:30ish the day of surgery and if you can do water and then the water and protein suppliments the next day and walk around and have sufficient urine output, we will send you home the next day.  (barring any situations that happen during or post surgery)

So there were MY questions because my team is very thorough and I had already been researching stuff too.

I am quite excited.  I'm mostly apprehensive about my son leaving me for like 10 days to stay with my mom.  Don't get me wrong, my mother is going to be terrific and my child will probably be spoiled.  It's the mere missing him and not being able to be "mommy" for a small bit of time.

Whooohoooo!  One week!  Hoping this week at work doesn't go too slow. :) 

What I've learned on MY liquid diet:

1.  Getting enough protein can be tricky when you are only doing protein shakes and this is when I can drink them at a decent rate.  I'm learning about different shakes, powders and the content of protein in each so that I can try to attain the protein intake needed for post surgery.

2.  Getting enough water is very different when you are drinking your meals.  I used to get my quantities of water around my meal by drinking/eating through Breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I am now learning how to drink throughout my day and work towards getting a good habit that will work through post-surgery. 

3.  I can get busy and forget to drink/eat.  I also can let myself go too long between both and feel really yucky.

4.  I truly am obsessed about food and am learning how to "cope" with that and trying to learn how to redirect those thoughts.

I'm beginning to think our liquid diet given by my surgeon is also a learning tool.  Not just to shrink the liver but a way to learn more about keeping yourself hydrated, learning how to get in "good" proteins and learning about yourself and your food triggers.  This is what it has been for me.

Ready for it to be Oct 17th.  :)

It sucks.  I'm not sugar coating it.  I'm not going to be all like, 'YOU CAN DO IT' attitude.
I miss chewing.  I miss texture and I've never been on such a drastic diet.

Although I gotta tell you that the protein shakes that I wasn't crazy about, you end up starting to like them because you are friggin STARVING.  Yes I've had soups.  I like the soups but there is not enough protein in them. 

And I'm obsessing about food.  OBSESSING.  I think about it all the time.  People at work are cooking their foods and I smell them and wonder what they taste like.  I wonder what they FEEL LIKE in my mouth.  I don't think I've ever thought about food as much as I have been for the past 4 days.  Day 1 wasn't so bad.

Otherwise on another note, it does mean I am officially 10 days away from my surger on Oct 17th!  OOOOOOOhhhhhh yeah!!  (said in the Kool-Aid man voice)

It's OK.  Actually at lunch today, I am lucky I didn't have my wallet with me...I wanted to walk over to the Sonic next door and get a burger.  The soup I warmed up though did hit the spot and I didn't have that overwhelming urge anymore.  I did pretty OK today but I'm still a little daunted by the fact that I have 12 more days left.

I'm also being a bit consumed by the added cost of vitamins, protein shakes/powders and all that jazz that you need post surgery.  Our recent move ended up taking a larger bite out of my budget than anticipated and one of the things I've done in the past is skimp on the grocery budget when this happens and now I gotta get a bit "stocked up".  I know a lot of people say that your taste changes post-op but I'm not exactly going to be in the shopping mood right after surgery so I do have to have some stuff on hand at the house.  Maybe I'm the only one daunted a bit by the cost of the post-surgery care/needs.  Don't get me wrong, I knew this going into the surgery, it's just one of my "oh my gosh" moments that reoccurs for me.  I can't be the only one that feels this way but maybe one of the few that admits it. 

Protein don't come cheap, my friends!

Yes, yes I know the cost of being obese on my overall health is much worse and I'm doing the surgery, I'm just saying... copay/deductible from the surgery + vitamins + protein shakes/powers + feeding, housing 2 kids on a single mom's salary = overwhelming at moments.

Liquid diets were something I never tried.  I never got on the Optifast wagon.  I really never did a drastic diet.  I did things like Weight Watchers, counted calories and probably most extreme (for me) was Adkins. 

My surgeon requires all of his patients to do a liquid diet for two weeks ahead of surgery.  I'm on day one and I'm not liking it.  Were you surprised?  No, I imagine you weren't.  I had switched to eating "healthier" and actually cutting back on salt like crazy when my blood pressure starting going up and I did well in the fact that I did loose 8lbs before my official weigh-in for the nutritionist.  BUT I got used to having an evening snack of either low salt crackers with a spoonful of sour cream or a 1/2 of peanut butter sandwich.  I'm having issues with that RIGHT now. 

I wish I could do the "slim fast" way and have shakes for breakfast and lunch...easy for me.  Then a sensible dinner.  I love dinner time.  I love cooking and making and eating food.  Of course that sensible dinner might turn into a sorta-sensible dinner and then another night it's a not-so-sensible dinner with promise of a sensible dinner tomorrow.  That is, of course how I got here time and time again.

Anyhow I'm mostly venting at the moment to get my mind off of the food, my evening snack.

And now it's officially 1 day closer to the surgery...Oct 17th. 

Keeping my eye on the prize!!

The anticipation of the surgery is really running me through the ringer on emotions.  Although from what I've ready on the boards, it appears there are serious emotional roller coaster of emotions post surgery too!  Whoot!  Emotions everywhere. 

Actually I think I'm luckily preoccupied by a big move happening between the 15th and 24th...our family is moving from a 2br to a 3br, which doesn't sound all that, but the new place is HUGE.  And my toddler will now have his own room for HIS toys and his stuff.  Don't worry I'm not naive enough to think that doesn't mean toys still won't be everywhere.  My other child is 17, so toddler stuff is not new.

Besides thinking about that, I am constantly listing pros and cons about the surgery.  One of my concerns is the apparent cost of protein shakes, buying meals more focused around protein and the need for suppliments post surgery and all of it seems so pricey.  BUT overall I know it will eventually even out and it means cooking more healthy meals for my family too.  Technically you can't put a price on being healthy.  But it is still something I think about. 

To counteract some of the negative feelings (fear) I'm having, I constantly read up on the forums and love to hear other's success stories.  OH has really helped me a LOT.

Also the other day someone mentioned writing a "goal" list...and I'm all for writing goals and I think one should give themselves some leeway when setting goals too.  I tend to love lists (type A personality) and I love marking off my list and if something on my list doesn't really get done, it runs me nuts.  I've decided to make goals that aren't really exact...no exact numbers, no exact dates:

1.  To be able to run a mile without feeling like I'm dying.  (I run now and in less than 2 mins I'm dying)
2.  To be able to shop for something without an X in front or a W in back of the size. 
3.  To weigh less than my boyfriend  (this is almost an exact number, but still...it would be such an accomplishment to be the lighter one, finally...for the first time ever.)
4.  To have my boyfriend understand why I am having the surgery and see the benefits.  (He doesn't right now, be we've agreed to disagree and I believe his disagreement with my choice is based on fear and I get it.  I do.  I love him and he loves me and knows in the end it is my choice)
5.  To ride a bike again.

Ahhhh yes, to have those goals met would be fantastic and that is my plan!!

Some days I can't believe I picked a surgery date so far away...I was called on July 26th and told to pick a date for my surgery!  I didn't even know I had been approved by through my insurance company.  I actually had called the office on the 25th to find out how it was going with the paperwork and they said, "We are still processing it."

Some of you may be surprised I got to pick my date but I work basically within the same health care system as my doctor and I needed to build up some time off so I had the luxury of actually coordinate the surgery with my work and family.  However this also meant I had to put it off but then I didn't want to wait till after the holidays. 

This means I'm going to have about 3 months of waiting under my belt by the time the surgery gets here.  :)

But it does allow me to really absorb some great advice from those that have had the surgery and also allows me time to pick and choose who I tell ahead of time.  I am actually plesantly surprised by the out pouring of well wishes and support from family. 

It's also allowed me to find and met a few people on here as well that are kindly allowing me to ask them questions whenever I wish! 

I am really enjoying the site emensly and hope one day to be a vet that can give someone else advice.