The day before surgery

Apr 08, 2014

So I can't really sleep right now... Partly due to hunger pangs and cravings, could be nerves, could be questions I am googling instead of sleeping. Regardless I am up and so I decided to hop on here and record a few last day thoughts. I wonder what I will look like what life will feel like without enough fat to comprise another being around your mid section. I mean I have grown so accustomed to the disgusted looks and the judging glances. I need this change to stop that. I wonder what people will think. I never truely saw myself as fat I mean I know I am but mentally my physical image is completely different. Will my face droop? will my arms sag grossly? How small will my chest become? Will I ever be asked on a date or kissed...? I wonder daily what my life will be in 10years... I honestly am unsure. I want to create the YouTube channel I've been scripting. I am just rambling but its generally out of exhaustion. I am ready for this change. This chance to be the me of my mind. I will ramble more after the surgery tomorrow April 10th but I am ready.

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