jodi_mcnamara

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Weight 118. 

Not feeling well.  Fighting to eat.  Part social issues/part medical.  This is a lifelong process to stay healthy.

Take care everyone!

xoxo
Jodi
 

5 years post-op
weight 130

Wow!  I haven't been here in soo long.  I guess we get caught up in life.  I have gone through so much that I couldn't even begin to post it all.  I hope to capture some of the key things I have learned and yet to learn ;).

I had my tummy tuck and breast augmentation/mastopexy done in February.  I don 't think it was nearly as bad as what I thought it would be.  I am very happy I was finally able to do it!  I still struggle with body image quite a bit.  I had gained weight (was up to about 163) and lost it again.  I was steady at about 140 - 145 through 2008, but recently began losing again.  I had to go buy new jeans and realized I needed a size 3.  I got a little upset with myself because I still see myself as a "thick" girl and yet in my mind I know I shouldn't.  I don't want to lose more weight. My BMI is still in the normal range so I am confident I am still OK, yet I battle with the mental image I have of myself.  I suppose some things never change...sigh!  I have made a new goal for 2010 to hold my weight steady at 130, but improve my diet and increase my exercise. So here's to a healthier 2010 for us all!

On a personal note, well lets see...  Train wreck comes to mind when describing the last few years of my life.  lol.  Perhaps I had found a "me" a long the way I really did not like.  Once again (in my life) I had looked in the mirror and found I did not like what I saw.  I have seen the dark side but I have made it back!  Trust me..the cookies are way better over here!!!   I am truly happier than I have been in many years.  I have someone wonderful in my life now who shows me the kind of person that I want to be and the kind of life I want to lead.  He does this simply by loving me for who I am. 

To everyone on their journey....  best of health and happiness!!
Jo

Nov. 20, 2003
BMI 40 Weight 240
I have considered this surgery for quite some time but never persued it. My PCP doctor suggested having this surgery and provided me with a referral. After attending the required group meeting for Dr. Murr I wasn't comforable with their procedures. I hear he is a very good Doctor but just seemed like too much B.S. for me to go through. I have a co-worker who has had bariatric surgery and suggested Dr Dy. I had appointment with Dr. Dy. today and I was impressed with both him, his staff and procedures. He says I would make a great candidate for Lap RNY. I have high BP, arthritis, chest pains, and possible sleep apnea. My main goal with this surgery is to just feel better. I am so tired of always feeling bad. I want to be able to walk as much as I want without paying for it for a whole week. I have 4 kids and would like to have the energy to play with them more.

Dec 22, 2003
BMI 41.1 Weight 247
I've been busy lately. I have completed my sleep study but still am awaiting my score. I had my appointment with the pulmonologist who is requiring a breathing test before he will give his approval. I have also completed my appointment with the psychiatrist. He will send his approval letter to my doctor. I'm not nuts after all...woo-hoo!
Once I have all of this I can send in to the Insurance for approval.

I don't mind the wait (atleast not yet) because it always seems like I am doing something towards getting this procedure approved.

My daughter says that she can't wait till I'm skinny so she can wear my clothes! Typical thought for a 12 year old I suppose.

I have also quit smoking in the last two months (Yeah me!)...the pounds are pilling on though. I am now up to 247 pounds. All of my clothes are getting too tight but I refuse to buy any more fat clothes. Guess I better get approved before I start running around naked. Ugh..

Dec. 30,2003
BMI 41.1 Weight 247

Received a call today from my doctors office. They had submitted my request to insurance company on Dec 5th. They had received a letter back on Dec 10th. I wasnt aware of this. I apparantly need 6 months of physician monitored weight loss and a psych eval. I have the psych eval but not 6 months with my doctors diet history. I am not too surprised but I guess that puts me atleast another 6 months down the road before getting an approval...sigh. What else can I do? I have an appointment with him Jan 8th. Guess we will go from there. Im a little bummed. =( pout

Jan 12, 2003
BMI 41.6 weight 250

I had an appointment with my PCP. I started my 6 months of physician supervised diet. I am trying the enzyme diet he recomended. Its kind of like slim fast in that you drink a shake for breakfast and one for lunch. No soda (hard for me). I also am going to walk 30 mins every week day on my lunch breaks. I am not real hopeful in this endeavor as nothing has worked for me yet but alas it is required for insurance approval. Oh yeah and weight was up to 250 lbs. Yuck. I had to break down and by some pants as I didn't have enough to make it through the work week. The doctor said the quitting smoking reduces your metabolism rate. (I should have become a chain smoker instead of quitting!) lol. I hope this diet atleast help me stop blowing up like a balloon...sigh.


July 16, 2004

Well I have just completed my 6 months of physician monitored weight loss attempt. My doctor has written his approval letter an I mailed it off yesterday to the surgeons office. Then its off to the insurance company for approval. Current weight was 241 after 6 months of trying to loose weight. Blah. I guess now I am back to the waiting game. Keeping my fingers crossed!!

August 2, 2004

I have called Aetna several times now to find out if they have received my paperwork. Both times they told me they had not. I called Dr. Dy's office (they are so nice) and they called Aetna. They have a reference number and it has been sent to a nurse for review?? I am told it may be months before I hear anything. Perhaps by the end of the year I can have this done. I am hoping it won't take that long! I have been overweight for years...Why am I so impatient now?


August 16, 2004

I called Aetna again today (boy am I impatient) to find out status of my preauthorization. It is still pending...sigh.

August 23, 2004

Today is my twins 4th birthday. We had the party yesterday. It turned out great. I got a call from my Doctors office. My heart skipped a beat. Immeditaly I thought "Wouldn't it be great to get approval today!". Aetna approved my surgery but they approved it as a secondary insurance. Now I had notified Aetna that they are my only insurance provider since I dropped my other insurance. I guess they missed that. So now they will need to send my info to the PreCert department and the process starts all over. I guess thats why everytime I have called to inquire on status they never could find anything. They did mention that my Doctors office submitted a tentative surgery date of Oct. 4. I know its not really a sergery date and I havent been approved yet...but that date just sounded so nice. Wishful thinking....

August 25, 2004

I called my Doctors office today. They have already contacted my insurance company to verify they are processing the claim as my Primary Insurance and are awaiting a callback. Maybe it will be quicker this time. I was also told once I am approved I would have to meet with Dr. Dy again and bring along my Support Person. I would also have to meet with Ivy to dicuss eating and nutritional information before surgery. The good news is Dr. Dy does surgeries all the time so there shouldn't be a long wait to get a surgery date once I am approved. I am getting so anxious now. Boy will I be crushed if it gets denied.


September 7, 2004

I'm Approved!!!! WOOOO-HOO! I am so excited. I called the Insurance Company and they have a date of October 11th. I called my Doctors Office but due to Hurricane Frances the person who manages it is out today so I will have to wait until tomorrow for an exact surgery date. This has taken so long, I don't think this has truly set in yet. I am having a really Fat day today and it hasnt improved much yet..ahh. Hopefully these days are numbered! =)

September 28, 2004

Weight 244
My surgery date is scheduled for Oct 13th. I had another appointment with Dr. Dy. He wants to do an EGD on the 30th since I have Gerd. So I went to Pre Op today. I talked them into doing my Pre Op for both the EGD and my Gastric Bypass all at once so I wouldnt have to do it again in another week. It is such a long drive to Community Hospital. I have to also manage to squeeze in my ulta sound, blood work and I believe a chest x-ray before the big day.
I am getting excited about the surgery but it seems such a long way off. After working for this for a year it dosn't seem real yet. I am worried (like most others I suppose) that perhaps this wont work for me but I am most nervous about giving up my sweets. I didn't realize what an addiction I truly have until I thought about giving them up forever. Its like I had a panic attack. Seems silly huh?

Oct 3, 2004

Ten more days and counting! Had my endoscopy done on Thursday. That was pretty easy. I was told by the nurses they did a couple of biopsies. I am not sure what they saw or what they are even looking for. I wasn't expecting them to see anything out of the norm. I've been nautious since having it done and my stomach is a little sore. I'm sure this is nothing compared to how I will feel in a week and a half though!

Oct 6, 2004

Went to the doctors office yesterday for the results of mt endoscopy. The biopsy was just to check for bacteria. There was just a little stomach erosion due to acid reflux. Just 1 week until surgery, woo-hoo!

Oct 10, 2004

Just three more days. I am not too nervous yet, maybe it will hit me soon but right now I am still anxious to get this done. Tomorrow I have pre-op testing done. I have so many places I have to go that I took the entire day off work.

I have been wanting to make a list of the the things I want to be able to do after sugery, so here goes...

Tie my shoes without turning blue in the face
Fit into the booths at restaurants
Get on top w/o making DH sick
No longer shop in the plus size dept.
Be able to buy age appropriate clothes, not granny clothes
walk without getting out of breath
walk without limping for a week afterwards
cross my legs
play with my kids
not fit into DH's clothes anymore
feel attractive again
fit into my Dive gear again
not be tired all the time
sleep through the night
no longer feel like I have the body of a man
feel like I have control over what I eat
not feel like a whale at the beach.
feel healthy!

Well those are the things that immediatly come to mind. I can't even imagine myself not being fat anymore. I am hoping one day I won't remember what it was like to be fat... sigh.

Oct. 12. 2004

Well the next post will be from the other side. Wow, I'm very overwhelmed at this point. I saw my surgery Support Page. That made me feel great and made me feel like I can really do this! Thanks sooo much everyone!!!!

Today I have to take the twins to my parents house, drink my lovely magnisium citrate, and get all the last minuite cleaning done. I had my pre-op teaching yesterday. I found it very helpful. Unfortunatly I found out I already missed my last chance at the final steak dinner. I had a Wendys chicken sandwich on my way home. So much for one last great meal.. lol.
Keep me in your prayers, and I want to wish everyone else the best of luck in their journey!
...Jodi

Oct 19,2004

Well I made it! It was a pretty rough ride for a couple of days. A couple of small complications but I'm getting better everyday. I just got home from the hospital last night (a little longer stay than expected). I will fill in the details later when I'm up to it. Thanks to everyone for all their kind words!
...Jodi

October 23, 2004
weight 227
BMI 37.8

Feeling tired lately. Food depresses me. Good news is I've lost 15 pounds! More later.

October 30
weight 220
BMI 36.6

Still tired and sore. I started back to work this week. I have lost interest in eating, seems more like a chore now. I promise I will write about my surgery soon, just not up to it yet...

Nov 8
Weight 213
BMI 36.3

I'm not getting in enough water and my skin is soo dried out. I don't think I eat enough. I'm lucky to get in 2 tsp full of food a day. I hope this is normal. I am home from work today as I don't feel well. =(

Nov 14
weight 216

I just spent a week in the hospital getting rehydrated. Put 5 pounds back on me just in fluids! Wow. I'm slowly recovering. Have nasea, acid reflux, and problems with pancreas. Doctors think this will resolve itself though. Note to self (and anyone reading this): Drink your Water!!!! =)

November 27
weight 198

I broke the 200 mark! Yeah me! It has been about 5 years since I weighed this much. I am down from a tight 22 to a size 18 that fits well. I hope to be a 16 by xmas. I need new shoes as mine are flopping off my feet!
Thanksgiving was great. I cooked for everyone. I was able to eat a little bit of turkey and mashed potatoes so I felt like I participated. I turned 33 on the 24th. Mom made me a splenda pumpkin pie. It was good. I didn't eat the crust but the pumpkin filling went down well.
I saw the Dr. Last Thursay and he said I'm doing well and said I didn't need another dialation, at least not yet. He said to not let myself get so sick next time and to call him if things change right away.
I am really tired of eggs...ugh. I ate a little pice of sausage for breakfast this morning..so far so good. I need to find a little more variety of things to eat.
I'm off to the park this morning and then to do a little x-mas shopping. TTFN!

December 2, 2004
weight 195

Just had another fun trip to the hospital to have another dilitation. I am still not really able to eat or drink yet. I'm feeling pretty bad. Stayed home from work today and probably will have to tomorrow. I'm feeling a little down today. I am tired of being sick. I did this to be healthier and I'm not feeling very healthy right now. I know in time this will pass. I can't say I regret this surgery...I just wish this was a little easier. Dr. Dy has been fabulous and has taken excellent care of me. I truly feel he cares how I am doing. Ivy, the bariatric coodinator at Community Hospital, has been absolutly wonderful. There have been times I felt I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for her. I told her this but she shruggs it off. I wonder if she truly knows how important she is.
On a good note I got a new pair of Jeans. I didn't shop in the plus dept. this time! I am a size 16 now! WOW!
Take care everyone in their journey! Jodi


December 20
weight 185

I got sick on Friday and havent really been able to eat or drink since. I'm waiting for the doctors office to open so I can call them. I am hoping I dont have to have another dilitation done. Thats no fun as it makes me pretty sick afterwards. Hope everyone is doing well! ...Jodi


December 23
Weight 184
Well I had another dilitation. Dr. Dy said the opening wasn't as tight as the last time he had to do it. Maybe thats a good thing. Ive been eating pretty well since the dilitation. Hope this keeps up! I cant have any meat for a month. That really isn't a big deal since I dont like the way it sits in my tummy. I have a little more energy, which is a good thing since I have to finish my xmas shopping tonight. =)
Hugs to all...Jodi

Dec 27 2004
Weight 182
I survived the Holidays..woo-hoo! Took all day to recover yesterday as I was soo worn out. I feel pretty good today though. Weight had gone up to 187 after the dilitation at the hospital with all of the iv fluids but down to 182 this morning. I am alnost at the 70 pound mark in less than 3 months. Everyone in my family is worried that I am loosing too fast. Its a little concerning to me but then again I havent really been eating much at all. I read others profiles that are almost 3 months and they can eat almost anything. My diet is just about where it was at the 3 week diet. I tried a little of regular milk yesterday. I really liked it! For christmas dinner I had a little cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, and a tiny bit of potatos. Hope everyone had a Great Holiday!

Dec 27

I had to give a quick update on this. Was at the store and bought size 14 jeans! Yeah me!

Jan 9
weight 179
Size 14 jeans fit well now. Can get into 12 but still tight yet. Everyone has nicknamed me skinny now. I'm not skinny (atleast not yet) but it still is kinda kool to hear.

Jan 17,2005
weight 174
Took some tylenol the other day. Guess I didnt break it up enough as I think it got stuck and made me sick for a couple of days. Feeling pretty good today. If it warms up a little I am going to take the kids to the zoo. Lots of walking and good exercise.

Feb 2, 2005
weight 167

Grumpy and depressed today. I was thinking today how much obesity has changed my personality. I wasn't heavy all my life but since I got really heavy I no longer felt attractive. I realized that my flirty happy personality had changed into a grumpy depressive one. Now that Ive lost most of my excess weight I still don't feel attractive or flirty and get grumpy. Ahh will my mindset ever change? I hope this isn't a permanent scar. The good news...In size 11/12 now. I can wear my daughters clothes. I like that. Hope everyone is doing well.

Feb 12, 2004
weight 163
Wearing size 11/12 comfortably. I like that. Its nice to have guys look at me again and do things like open doors again. Why they didn't do that when I was fat I can't say, but somehow it makes a difference. I started working out and have been sore all week.

Feb 19, 2004
weight 163

Heard the best compliment the other day. I was getting a free shirt from work and I was told "sorry a Large is the smallest size we have". I don't think anyone understood why I was so thrilled. LMAO!

Feb 22,2005
Weight 160

90 lbs gone, 10 more till I reach the century club! I told my co-worker today that I hit the 90 lb mark and he said "what, you weigh 90 lbs now?" LMAO. I think thats a little extreme but it cracked me up! Its been just over 4 months and I can hardly remember being 250 pounds. I can't picture me ever being that way again. I'm having another EGD done on Thursday, but this time it's just for a look see. I have been doing well so I dont think that I will need it stretched again. (hopefully not!)
Good Luck to all!!

March 7,2005
weight 157
My friend is wanting to have the lap band surgery done. He is so impatient right now to get it done. I remember those days, but I told him to enjoy eating while he can bacause it will all change soon enough. 7 more pounds to the century club! I want to lose about 30 more pounds. Its definatly comming off more slowly now.

April 1, 2005
weight 154
Wearing size 10 jeans. That feels good. My daughter says I look like a grape with two toothpics stuffed in it for legs. Guess I gotta work on that! LOL. Hope eveyone is well!

April 4, 2005
weight 151
Only 1 more pound till the Century Club....Woo-Hoo!

April 17, 2005
Weight 149
I finally made the century club! Woo-Hoo! I have lost 101 pounds. I went to the doctor on Thursday. He said I need to learn to start eating some meats. He thinks I look like Sheryl Crowe. That made me laugh. I mentioned it at work when I got back and everyone was like "yeah you kinda do look like her". I hope that is a compliment. lol. My hair is falling out like crazy. Thinking about having a weave done to thicken it up but Im afraid with my hair falling out it might turn into a tangled mess. We'll see. Dan says to just shave it all off, he'd love me anyway. Kinda sweet...I guess. Hope ya'll are doing well.... Jodi

April 24, 2005
weight 149

Just a quick update. I went shopping yesterday and I am officially in a size 8. Oh Yeah! I havent worn size 8 since I was a freshman in highschool. That felt soooo great. I love trying on clothes now. I used to absolutly HATE it but now it its a blast. I look good in everything I try on. It used to be so depressing trying to find something that didnt make me look fat. Yeah right! At 250 lbs everything made me look fat. Blah! Days like yesterday make this all worth while. I also bought a tankini. Went to the beach yesterday and tried to tan my tummy. That white as a ghost tummy hasn't seen sunlight in about 16 years. Needless to say I am quite the lobster! I think I'll stay in my jammies all day! LOL! Here is hoping everyone has great days like mine was yesterday!

May 1, 2005
weight 148

Wore a 2 piece today. That feels great. Need to work on toning up my tummy though. My poor white tummy hadn't seen the sun in about 16 years. Lol. Lets just say it burns easy.

June 24, 2005
weight 141

I reread my profile. I cant believe the changes and journey I have experienced. What a wonderful gift I have been given. Not all days are great. Being thin doesnt fix everything, but I am truly happy with myself. I thought I would take a moment to share my favorite WLS Moments.

I was watching the new Jessica Simpson "boots" video on my pc. My 4 year old comes in and says "Is that you mommy?" WOW! I had to give him a big hug and kiss for that one.

My boyfriend has a pic of me on my motorcycle as his wallpaper on his pc at work. HR saw it and complained to his boss that they are not supposed to have pics of girls like that at the office. His boss explained that it was a pic of his girlfriend on a bike he rebuilt. Priceless Moment!

Getting a "wow" as I walked by a group of guys in the Walmart parking lot. he he he

It's nice to be noticed. It was so hard being invisible for so long. But it's soo much more than something that simple. It's feeling great about me! I was told by a few people that I am in love with myself. My answer??? Your Darn Right! LOL
Jodi