Reflections of Son's Wedding After My Weight Loss

Feb 27, 2009

My 28 yr. old son got married Jan '09 in Aruba to his beautiful wife, Kim.  It is big celebrations like this when we want to look our best for our children that make all our hard work worth while.  I felt like I was always an embarressment to my 2 son's because I was so fat.  I never wanted my picture taken "with" them, but I have hundreds of pictures of them.  8 yrs. ago I attended my brother's wedding at age 47 walking with a cane wearing stretch pants and a pretty blouse that covered my belly. That was 2 months before my WLS surgery.

Last month I got my sexy back!  At my son's sunset wedding on Eagle Beach I wore a sexy, cocktail length wine colored dress with spaghetti straps.  The layering was horizontal, as were all the beads.  Clothing with anything horizontal like stripes was forbidden when I was MO. I haven't used my cane since 2 months after WLS.  I was dancing at this wedding reception! It was an outdoor, all night party & my gf & I closed the place down..  Men were flirting with me & saying I was too young to be Andrew's mom, & how beautiful I looked.  They were way out of my class.  They come to Aruba at least once a year & stay a month & travel extensively. I felt like Cinderella with them even though I doubt that any of them will come knocking on my door with my dance slipper.  

It is so incredible to walk through a huge airport & not get winded, walk on an airplane, fit in ONE seat,& not need a seat belt extension.  My oldest son, the best man, could sit beside me comfortably for the long flight to Aruba & we could talk & laugh.  I also fit in the airplane restroom which is tiny. No embarressment on the plane because of my size felt great. 

This was my 1st big vacation since my WLS 8+ yrs. ago. What an eye opener!   This was the first time I truly felt comfortable in my own skin.  I was no longer carrying the shadow of the 350# woman with me anymore. I was just Kathy, not the bariatric Kathy.  It was about 85 degrees & hot so tank tops, shorts, halter tops, & swimsuits was the attire. In IN, I felt subconscious wearing "less" clothes. Showing my upper arms, shoulders, or my legs made me feel naked.  But in Aruba, I felt totally free to be me.  And it didn't hurt that my ex-husband was there too, to see the new me. We've been divorced for 12 yrs. He didn't love me or respect me & saw other women.  I finally took the rose colored glasses off & realized that I couldn't change him; I could only change myself.  I wanted my self respect back.  So I got divorced, 5 yrs later had WLS & lost 225#. Change is always painful but God brought me through it & I am a better, stronger person because I was & still am, willing to take risks, walk through my fear, take on challenges, & change my attitude to be more positive.  It's been the hardest thing I've ever went thru in my life but "With God all things are possible."  I am a testimony to that. It's taught me to never quit or say I can't. 

It felt so good to feel like I was "normal" being able to wear summer clothes like everyone else.  To put on a pair of shorts, a tank top, sandals & go have fun in the sun.  Check out the picture below!   (And it was sooo fun shopping for those cute clothes). I didn't have a red face all the time or sweating like a pig.  I can't tell you how wonderful that was.  And to put on a bathing suit & not be the biggest one on the beach or feel like people are staring at me in a negative way....now it was a positive way, which still takes getting use too.

THIS was my reward for all my hard work in continuing to maintain my weight all these years!!!!  The "rewards" of this trip taste too much sweeter than any trigger food I have problems with.  To attend my son's wedding in Aruba, to stand up with him and be proud to be his mother.  Eating out every day, wedding reception, family parties...all equals lots of food. My food choices were't an issue or struggle for me. I was there to have fun, not to eat. The island fish was superb...grilled with great seasonings.  I never considered fried fish.  Before WLS, I never considered anything BUT fried fish.  I went there & had such a blast and food wasn't constantly on mind.  Having fun was!!!
I was bouncing around like a teen-ager again.  The quiet, withdrawn wallflower of my past was gone. I sat & played in the white sand & could get back up.  I did doughnuts in the sand with my SUV & got stuck!  I hardly slept at all. I didn't want to miss a moment of exploring this tropical island.  Every breath I took of the tropical breeze was one more breath of reassurance in the investment that I have made in MY future to enjoy the second half of my life to the fullest and to live a healthy life.

My honeymoon phase of WLS has been over for a very long time.  Ironically, I went to Aruba for Andrew's wedding but it felt like a honeymoon to me. I came home feeling like I had renewed my "vows" with my bariatric journey because I feel so blessed to reflect back over my 8+ year journey, all the blood, sweat, tears, setbacks & milestones & realize how far I have come & how good God has been to me. Going to Aruba was better than winning the lottery.  It was a celebration of enjoying being alive to live life to the fullest. 8 yrs ago I decided to turn my life around one day at a time, one step at a time, one change at a time, one choice at a time.  And here I am, over 8 years later of steps & days behind me & you can't wipe the big, wide smile off my face  & the gleem in my eyes that comes from within me. 

My bariatric sisters & brothers are my family & have supported me & given me the accountability I needed the last 8 years. Without them, St. V's, & most of all, God, I would not be where I am today.  That's why mentoring, being a buddy, & visiting post-op's is my passion.  I want to ignite a fire under all of you like so many of you did for me all these years. Don't ever give up! 

Be sure and check out more photos of the wedding in my photo secion. 

Hugs and Blessings,

Kat 

  

  

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