khamil65
Just came onto new format and lost my chart of lowest weight - I did go as low as 151 and now 8 yrs post-op July 11, 2011 I stay in the range of 170's. I know for me its age and likely not enough exercise. I heard a woman my age has to devote an hour each day to maintain not LOSE any weight and unfortunately I cannot devote that much time in my day to that. I do try to walk the dogs at least 3 times per week - pretty good walk with 3 labs for resistance. At 46 I feel at least 10 yrs younger and feel like I got those years back as a gift from this surgery. The things I reflect on now is that the food demons never entirely go away. You still have to continue to make conscious decisions about what you are putting into your body. Some days you follow the rules and some days you binge like you did years before and thats having had postop support and therapy. With most addictions you can eliminate the temptation but with food you still have to eat every day to thrive...thats where the battle never ends ; ) I am happy I did this but only wish it was years earlier
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12/26/2006 wow its been like forever since I wrote here but its been a tough time for me these past months. Back in April is where it started with my mom's increased cancer activity number in her regularly scheduled blood work. Tests were done and they checked the brain last and that is where another tumor surfaced. I ended up telling her thinking she knew already and it blew me away but she just looked at me and she thanked me for telling her because that is what she thought. By the beginning of June her body started to get very, very tired and she basically did not get out of bed for more than the essentials. She used a walker but her gait was getting worse and it was a fall that made me really let my dad have it about making the call to her doctor about hospice care options because we could no longer give her the best of care that she really needed. The Dr. suggested checking into hospice options back in April but it was the "elephant in the room" that no one was ready to explore yet. I think back and wish she had more comfort from them than what she had in the house. She was finally assessed and we found out that she needed 24 hr care -- her body was so tired to the point that the day after the assessment the nurse catheterized her. Her and my dad talked about what would happen next and their insurance limited the options that she would need to be in a facility of sorts because in-home care would not be 24 hr coverage -- and we did not have the means to consider private nurse coverage. By the grace of God a bed opened up at the Hospice House in Reading and on the Friday of Father's Day weekend she checked in. I still remember the call she made to me saying she was moving into "that house" we talked about. I hung up the phone and just freaked out knowing time was so short now. My cousin and dear friend met me at my mom's house that afternoon to pack her suitcase. I was packing all kinds of things -- pictures, pj's, clothes and then mom requested me to go buy her a new robe and new socks so I did. I don't know to this day where the strength comes from that I do not crumble. It has to be from Mom because she was so strong. She never once cried having been sick for 4 yrs. I asked her once and she told me what was the use in crying that she had to deal with this no matter what. In her last days she told me there was nothing to be afraid of and that she herself was not afraid. She told me no more crying but of course I have not held up my end of that request because I miss her each & every day. I am 41 and Mom was 62 when she passed. We were with her singing to her as she took her last breath on this earth. It was peaceful to see her leave us but at the same time the reality ripped through me like a knife. Today is the 6 month anniversary and we all celebrated Christmas together yesterday and I know she was with us and happy we were all at her table as a "family". I am proud she was my Mom because she is the reason I am the person I am today. When she had her lung surgery to remove the tumor it affirmed my choice that I needed my surgery to save my life. We were both saved and I have her always in my corner and in my heart. With all this I am so grateful I have not eaten my way up the scale despite the opportunity to comfort myself with food. There are bad days beleive me when I eat things I am clearly not supposed to -- but I have realized I am human and I come with flaws but I also have the power to perservere and overcome. Those were not always in the forefront of my life but with the renewal of my life with this surgery they came back -- I will always be grateful that I did this -- it definitely saved me and keeps me going when things get really tough. Thanks to all of my support friends and Happy New Year to you all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4/15/06 Happy Spring and I gotta get some control. Scale read 164.5 this morning -- almost a 10 lb increase. I know its calorie related gosh darn it all because I am back to exercising. My clothes were a bit snug this week so I had a feeling and now I am p-d off especially having to get thru Easter. I think I have to start a food log and stick with it. I can get my friends the dieticians involved so someone kicks my butt into reality daily besides my absent-minded self. I try to make the right choices daily but I need it in writing to keep myself honest. I hate the fact that 10 lbs can creep back -- I will not tolerate it (hahahaha) talk to you all soon !!
12/07/05 Months since I have done this VERY BAD !! I have given up my gym membership so my body is now softer than before but I was not loving the workouts like I did before. I am saving money and really worked on being more active this past summer & fall. With my current job I walk all day so that counts too ! The winter is what concerns me but I can easily get into some light weight training at home and get my butt back onto my elliptical machine that's been collecting dust. I have maintained my clothing sizes for over a year now and I am forever grateful that my wardrobe is growing itself back to the volume I had prior to surgery. Us girls are such fashion mavens ;-) Its mostly work clothes now that I am back to the corporate M-F world. I do love it though even giving up a 4 day week. I feel like I accomplish so much and the time passes quickly. I am home by 4 everyday to do what I want -- transitionally its been hard to keep my energy going but I think once more time passes it will be fine. I am still struggling with grazing and everyday resist the temptations of the pastry display at work -- some days are easier than others and my key to happiness right now is to "maintain" but not totally deprive myself into insanity !! I did not gain with Thanksgiving so I am hoping for the same good fortune for the Christmas crunch !!!!!
I do wish I could get under 150 but its seems this is where my body has chosen its threshold so my resolution for the new year will be l-- eating better and healthier and getting more exercise -- tthat sits better in my mind than the one I used to have "lose weight" I think I can hold up to this one ;-)
Happy Holidays everyone and Much success to you all !!!!!!!!!!
8/1/05 I think my information has not updated but I am now 2 yrs postop and feel totally incredible. Presently bouncing on the scale but its because I took the last month off from the gym to enjoy some time off this summer -- biking and walking have been there instead. Gotta get off some of the junk food but that will be my goal for September ;-)
04/11/05 Whoa never updated in March -- been up & down with the bounce -- mostly stay at 152 so I think that my body says its comfy here !! I hate to think I am done but I must face that fact...although I do need to pump it up with the exercise so maybe that will give me another 5 pounds ;-) Ordered Winsor Pilates DVD's to try as I am getting wicked GYM burn-out. Have not been there over 2 weeks now. I seriously think I am not renewing this year and will do my walking and elliptical here. I may check out another women's facility in Woburn called Healthy Fit next to Fresh City on Washington Street. I love the weight training but jeez I really could do that at home. We shall see...I have to stay motivated right ? Cannot wait for meeting tomorrow night I must say !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finally got an appt I can keep on 5/24 -- at that point I will be very close to my 2 yr anniversary coming up on 7/10. I wonder what my stats will be then ;-) gotta kick it up a notch !!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!
02/07/05 My checkup appt last week was cancelled but now its this Friday and I have lost another pound..down to 150 so maybe there is hope for my wish of saying I weigh 140 something (LOL) I do realize that 150 will bounce 2 like I always seem to do but its a loss, keeping focused ;-) I am getting more into the gym workouts as I am seeing my strength which is pretty remarkable; I still hate the aerobic part of what seems to be the all around workout -- I just cannot get into it; I do the weight training and see the results so what do you do ? I gotta work on that because aerobic is considered fat burner exercise...thats my challenge for now....see you all at the meeting !!!!!!
01/30/05 Well its been a month and been doing that 2 lb bounce but its back to 151. I have my 18 month checkup this week with Dr Ameri and I want him to inspect my skin. I am very curious how much he estimates there is because I think my body is at its goal and knowing there is like 10 lbs of loose skin will ease my little voice inside saying I should be lower in pounds. Now I know what you are all thinking and I get that the scale is not our ruler but statistically it does have its guidelines in this journey. I will use it as a guideline and still want to lose a few more to say I weigh 140 something. I really do not believe 135 will ever ever happen to me without me getting dreadfully ill or something. I have to work on my snacking and chocolate cravings and more water intake. The gym schedule has been a tough challenge for a few months now but I am trying to stick to 3 times per week; mostly its only been 2 and that irks me but I just find other things to do...I know I know its a goal !!!!!!! I try to be a strong person but I do have my weak points like everyone else; I had to recently go back on Lexapro for my anxiety/depression after being off of them for about 6 months. Turning 40 the same weekend I had PMS, a recent job change, and the ongoing health problems with my mom all hit me at once and I totally crumbled. Thank goodness I have a great therapist and PCP because I was able to get help in the same day and already have improved. My body needs that chemical balance that those meds provide. I have to realize I need to stay on it and this just proved that theory. Hopefully the rest of my every day life will fall into place. I do have concerns that I made the right choice in my new job; I am fearful of screwing up this successful weight loss; I am fearful of losing my mom...that's the kind of things spinning around my head and I will get thru the firestorm its presenting to me and I know I can because I can gather strenght where I can and let me tell you -- your friendships have really proven to me that I can get thru what I need to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12/12/04 5 days later and its still a "real" weight loss and this morning I was 151 ;-) so happy but thinking its a total gift because my eating has been kinda frazzled. I did my BMI today and found that its NORMAL; holy moly !!!! I have to be so good these next couple weeks so I won't gain an ounce over the Christmas holiday. Thats a new experience; not gaining weight over the holidays !!!!!!!! pinch me !!!!!!!!!!.
12/7/04 Survived the first holiday beating by not gaining an ounce then had some of my tummy issues and finally that solved this morning and I lost 2 lbs. Like is that a real loss I wonder...I was so flipping bloated and I was really getting concerned because I had this muscle cramp on the right side and was wondering if it was because I was backed up or did I have a hernia ?? I wonder how you know if you have one of those ? My checkup is Jan 4th so I will have to pester them with that question along with having a skin evaluation. I am curious about how much estimated skin weight I am carrying. I still cannot believe I weigh what I do...still "pinch-me" feeling !!
Hopefully I will do well with the Christmas eating and then January is my 18th month...whoa that means I could be done. Gotta stay focused !!!!!!! ;-)
11/7/04 Finally back to 154 after bouncing around again. I think I finally found a routine that will help with my bathroom issue. I stay on the Miralax nightly and have like an ounce of walnuts and its worked for a whole week and thats why I think my weight finally levelled off. The gastro final result is that Constipation is a common symptom after this surgery. He checked with associate Dr Barrett @ Lahey and Dr Begos (surgeon Winchester) just to make sure he did not miss anything in my evaluation. Miralax will not hurt me long-term and where its working for me we will stay this way for now. Getting together last week was just wonderful !! I cannot get over how much we have all blossomed; its just so amazing to see the progress. I am looking forward to the meeting to see what sort of trouble Kathy got us into !!!!!! hahahahahaha AND this week is my week off before I start my new job. Leaving the old one was not emotional at all other than PURE GLEE !!!!! A-holes !!!! So I am off to finish decorating my Christmas tree while I have the free time (its artificial) and I have so much fun doing up the house. We will have to have a date at my house coming up ~~~
Have a good week !!!!!!!!!!
10/13/04 Another month OMG !! Finally I pray I broke my bouncing from July 19th until yesterday I was 155 to 159 (boing, boing) and when I got home from DC I weighed late morning yesterday at 154.5 (I was 156 when I left) and I did it again today after eating breakfast and it was still 154.5 like I did not believe it was true. I walked a ton in DC and we ate so I guess the change in my routine did shake it up a little and that was a week without my protein shakes (did some bars) wow it really is an amazing thing. My goal now is to get out of the 150's and whatever I end up with then is just perfect; meets the Dr goal too. I see the Gastro for followup tomorrow night so that should prove interesting because this thing is just a drag for me and its a big reason why I bounce. So the meeting was again a re-charge for sure and looking forward to the next one already !!!!
9/3/04 Christ did I lose August...summer flew by and I forgot to update. I had the honor of doing my testimonial at the August meeting which felt so empowering that I realize I need to try to be even more involved in this program in some way. I sent off thank you notes to Dr Ameri & staff indicating just that so we'll see what happens. I did get rushed but everyone said what I talked about was meaningful but I feel like I flubbed over the statistical part of it and really would like a chance in the future for an "encore". Recently had bad week at work with stress and did wicked binge eating and the results of that along with having PMS is a 3 lb weight gain -- thank you very much (sarcastically she says). I met with therapist the other day and realize this job environment is really a drain on me so now I know my plan -- resume circulation and lots of self control. So with this new month I have a lot to accomplish; get rid of the weight gain, exercise more, and work on my new career goals and state of mind. See this is still a work in progress because even though the physical part is just about over its a whole lot of mental work. The best part is that I have the power and energy to face it and do what I can !!!!!
7/21/04 Yesterday was my annual appt with Dr Ameri and boy did I ask alot of questions with Louise and I got my pics taken (for my file and potential future testimonial). I filled them in on the low testosterone results I got this week. I tested in the low-normal numbers and my Gyn is prescribing a cream treatment to help me out there. Dr Ameri also gave me another blood draw list that you get done at 1 yr out that lists all those Thyroid tests Laura was telling me about so that they can look at all the numbers and see if there is something else out of whack. Other than that and the prolonged constipation issue that is more common than I realized. Louise told me it happens because we malabsorb; change in the foods we now eat; the change of the surgery itself to the bowel. All of those factors can cause such a dilemma. But other than that they said I am in great shape at 78% of excess weight lost and Louise said my goal is to lose 10 more lbs. to be at a comfortable 85% loss rate. I would love 100% but I cannot be greedy and I have to listen to my body as it settles on a range. On their scale I weighed in at 163 which was afternoon weight increase PLUS their scale has always been higher for me. Before my appt I ran home and jumped on mine dressed and I was 158 but I am 156 in the morning (naked). So either way I look at it I need to get down to like 145 for a comfortable number over the next 6 months. This is way slow now ! But oh my gosh its so wonderful too !! I felt like a real success story when I left there yesterday even though it was 2 hours later that I left there -- he was jammed. So thats my latest and greatest !! bye !
07/18/04 Yeah me again !! I am just chuckling to myself and wanted to share this thought. You all have read I have been having constant issues post-op in the potty #2 department but I have to tell ya that 2 days of regularity can change a person (LOL) My scale has been moving down since last Thursday and today it was down to 156. I am trying to think what I did differently...I am being extremely faithful taking my miralax but also have been eating grapes this week as a fruit. Which one of those gets the prize because I just feel so good this morning (HAHAHHAAAA) I know I am sick but I remember reading in Carnie's book about the value of #2. Funny !!! Well enough of that...I have my 1 year checkup with Dr Ameri this Tuesday...lots of questions I have. Will update later !!
07/12/04 One year has flew by !!!!! OMG its just so unreal still. My weight stayed at 158.5 (checked again this morning) and I measured myself last night for comparison and the numbers are just incredible. Chest: 35" lost 11";Waist 35" lost 13";Hips 41" lost 15"; Neck 13.5" lost 3.5"; Wrists lost 2" combined; Thighs 22" lost 15" combined; Arms 12" lost 8" combined; Ankles lost 1.5" combined. Total I got was -69 inches and -105 lbs since surgery. Only regrets I have is with my constant constipation issue and that I don't dump BUT other than that its FULL STEAM AHEAD ! I never imagined being this small or my god getting into a single digit pant size (I vary in 8/10 from a tight 22/24) and tops have dropped to L/M depending on cut (from 3x). This really really works !!!!!!!!!! The hard part now is staying focused on the exercise and the straying off the food plan. I am working on both of those as I try to adapt to the "return to normal" phase of this journey. I still really want to fight for that goal weight but my therapist told me to look at the whole picture to evaluate my success. Its just that fear inside that we all have of failure but I am trying so hard not to see it that way because of all that I have accomplished thus far...you see its still a work in progress !!!!!!!!!
06/29/04 Whoa July 4th weekend is coming this weekend and I have been thinking back to last year as I was just days away from my surgery. With my anniversary coming up I am full of emotions and really tring to embrace a new one "PROUD" I think I have mastered "Grateful" because I never in my wildest dreams expected to be this weight when I was as high as 278 in the beginning. I mean thats 119 whole frickin' pounds since last year and since surgery I have tracked 104.5. AMAZING is the best word to describe it. The only regret and sorry but its fact for me !! is that I was more prepared for the resurrection of food issues and that I dumped. The daily routine now is to stay away from the junk and thats sometimes not easy when your body won't puke for you -- I was under the impression that most of that would be taken care of with this surgery but I guess I did not realize I would be in the percentage of the patients that may not dump (which is what is explained in the beginning). I am sure dumping is totally horrible but sometimes when you are on a bad binge it would be nice ! I will keep you updated and hopefully I can stay in the 150's for the summer -- thats my goal. I do wish I was closer to the 130 something weight I was told was ideal weight but I am PROUD of what I have accomplished thus far and cannot even believe it some days !!!!
06/03/04 Cripes where did the rest of April & May go...weight bounced all over the place. Had to institute Miralax into my daily routine after finally talking to Louise about the plan I got from PCP that was just NOT working for me. Things seem better in that department. Went to personal trainer who spoke at May meeting to get some perspective on my working out and that seems more interesting to me now and saw Nutritionist twice but still have conflicted feelings on the food plan I have been given. Its 1000 calories per day and I think thats on target but I am confused on the lack of meat. I am designated only 2 oz @ lunch and I think like 3 oz @ dinner and I know I take in more than that because I have been so protien oriented. I also cut back on a 2nd shake I was doing almost daily and my hair is shedding slightly again and I mentioned that to Nutr and not too much feedback. It feels like we are all different and no true formula will work for everyone. I knew life would be totally different but watching calorie intake was not one I paid too much attention to when I was researching. Also some behaviors that I did not realize were issues in the mainstream (grazing, stress eating) and are really disorders that should have been discussed prior to surgery. So pre-ops keep an open mind that these issues do come back and they are really hard to work thru some days. I try to take one day at a time but its the work environment that is my biggest obstacle -- its mental busy right now and munchies are prevalent and gosh darn it my pouch does not reject anything so its really hard to resist the junk sometimes. Really trying to cut that out with having good snacks on hand but licorice and chocolate are cravings I get. Been subbing gum just to give my jaw a workout and the water has definitely increased to balance this out. If someone told me this a year ago I think I would have had a better plan. I kinda feel like I did before the surgery like "no control"...gotta do some work there !!!! Well all thats whats new and looking forward to our next meeting OH and before I forget I did try on some bathing suits and a 10 did work for me but those size 10's in the 2pc tankinis are not made for girls with tummy skin and hips let me tell ya !! Gotta invest in one from LandsEnd I guess to get the right fit. Catch you all soon !!
04/11/04 Whoa I have been slacking here; updated loss is 104 lbs as of this morning weighing in at 159.5. I have been struggling to resolve potty#2 issues with regards to constipation for the last few weeks. Experiencing wicked tail bone pain associated with being this way as well. At PCP suggestions I am doubling fibercon daily and taking 2 colace combo but its taking way long time to be consistent which is not fun when you are bloated and cranky. I recently was instructed to take that Magnesium Citrate as a remedy to clean me out and guess what it did not do that -- I got pressure to go in the a.m. and had to take a suppository to relieve that pressure to go on to the work day. Called PCP to say "what the heck" and she suggested doing 2nd one and I said jesus it did not work the 1st time so talking with one of my friends she shares her MiraLax and suggested 1/2 container instead of whole she did for colonoscopy prep so I do that this past Friday night and things are percolating and I think wahoo some relief...NOTHING !! I had to do enema later in the day to relieve the percolating and the feeling of having to go was just not strong enough. UGH its so dam frustrating because I eat high fiber oatmeal daily and been taking the fiber con and upped my water to 72+ oz per day. My NP at the PCP swears we will find a way to make it work so I am holding on to that but really what a real pain !! But other than that things are still on the UP SWING and I am just so happy with this new life and on my last PCP visit I was measured an inch taller ! Isn't that a weird one and I wonder how it changes my goal weight ??? HMMMMMMM SO looking forward to Tuesday !! BYE
3/19/04 WELL IT FINALLY HAPPENED **** I HAVE LOST 100 POUNDS
I cannot believe its finally here !!!!!!!!!!! 36 weeks & 1 day post-op (wt 163.5) and I am so relieved to get here. This week was tough with PMS issues and the junk I grazed but somehow the scale today broke after tons of water and some help in the potty area (as that was a bit of a problem) -- but I am taking the LOSS !!
I guess today I will just be smiling for my own personal reasons !! Bye for now !!!!!!!!!!!
3/14/04 Yikes its been this long since I udpated. Sorry I was in plateau mode and getting kinda pissed about it. I did realize thru the support of others that I have been dam lucky that at 8 mos out this was my first one. I did suck it up and just continued to increase my water and added 2nd protein drink to my day. I was at 167 for like 3 weeks solid bouncing up a few lbs and then back to that with my obsessive daily weighing (could't help it) Finally this morning for real its broken and its 165 officially from 263.5 means -98.5 *****I am almost at 100 and my god that goal was an untouchable to me a year ago but DAM ITS SO REAL NOW I think someone needs to pinch me again !!!! So the motto I would like to share is that be prepared for things to slow down once you are at 6 months but remember the basics and increase the water (not easy for sure!) and protein and watch what kind of carbs are creeping back in and we will all strive to win this battle once & for all TOGETHER !!!!!!!!!!!!
2/25/04 I am in one of those "pinch me" modes as we speak. I just saw that they updated my pic which is from my sister's wedding on 2/7/04. It was the first time in years I have actually felt "beautiful". I mean I did feel pretty when I got married 15 yrs ago but now post-surgery and with being this much older...I must admit I have never felt it the way I do now. Everyone is right to say that this surgery changes your life. I just never totally understood all of the many ways that it has and will continue doing. Today I went shopping because bottoms are loosey-goosey on me and I fit in size 10 !!! I got into size 8 jeans but had to really work on the zipping up so I realized I am a comfy 10 in jeans and dress pants...so I guess that makes it official at 7 3/4 months. Oh my god this is just so dam amazin' !!!!!
02/14/04 Happy Valentines Everyone !! I had a mental list of some things I wanted to do again post op and TODAY I accomplished a very big one **Very exciting stuff...went ice skating on the Frog Pond on the Boston Common and actually DID IT !! Not like 2 yrs ago when I could not even stand up straight. Skated for an hour and half and I think I had a smile on my face laughing the whole time thinking WOW I CAN DO THIS AGAIN. The little thrills we get as posties huh ?? I also survived babysitting week and my god is that "work". The little punkin went home to her family today and my older niece (4 yr old) was begging to come home with us but we rescheduled for next week. I must be back to being the FUN AUNTIE !! Gotta love life for sure ! Talk to you all soon !!!!!!!!!
2/8/04 Well after my last post I have lost a couple more good pounds along with the bloat I had and had my checkup with Dr Ameri. I just have to say that I HATE their scale. I have been tracking from home on a digital since surgery so I feel far more accurate. I weighed in late afternoon which is always like an average 4 lbs higher for me from weighing in first light in the morning with no clothing or shoes (my usual routine). But they have me tracked at losing 88 lbs and I was tracked that morning at -94 lbs. My math calculation provided by Louise is that I have already lost 67% of my excess weight which both she and the Dr. were extremely pleased about. I did get a remedy to try to get myself off of the Milk of Magnesia train with introducing fiber and colace to retrain my bowel. Dr. Ameri says its fairly common for this to happen periodically to patients so I felt much better about that. I was really wondering why this was going on but time on this pattern should get things back to normal. When the Dr came in the room he was really funny about the "double-take". I know I see him every month but it was the one on one that was priceless. I am wearing my hair different and that day I had been wearing my new glasses as well. I am a far cry from those before pics that Louise and I looked at before he came in to see me and I think he may have peeked at them too before he came in (hahaha) Louise did explain the 6 month slowdown and to not lose faith as long as I stay on program and watch the in between snacks; increase workouts I should be fine with the continued losing. I have to say at this stage of my life I am happy with being THE LOSER ! Oh and before I forget to share this as well...yesterday was my sister's wedding and my role as her matron of honor. I was so nervous about seeing family and friends I have not seen for years and oh my gosh it was so incredible seeing everyone and they were so complimentary and I danced my butt off with crazy cousins and my brother -- it was a whole lot of fun and I was able to be a participant in it all without gasping for air. Well all I am going to try to be at the meeting Tuesday but I have my 11 month old niece staying with us this week and not sure she will be in bed in time for me to come. Hopefully I will see you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1/31/04 On my usual weigh in day (Thu) @ 29 wks I was up but I instantly knew why ! I simply cannot get on a regular bathroom schedule. I know no one has brought this up before but its a real problem for me (and perhaps others. As I think back its been going on for like months. I am constantly doing the milk of magnesia on that 3rd day. My body doesn't seem to get the vibe on its own so 2 weeks ago I added benefiber to my oatmeal once a day (1 tbsp) and JEEZ it was like an Olympic event trying to move that along by the end of the week so I stopped that. I feel like I am consistently constipated and I will be quizzing the heck out of Louise on Tuesday when I go for my checkup. I definitely drink a min of 64 oz of water everyday and always more than that in combined non-caffeine beverages so its really bothering me. So back to the beginning of this posting --I ended up taking some meds and weighed myself Friday morning first thing and was down to 170 which was just totally the best feeling. Thats -93.5 lbs and pretty soon by to the 170's for good (I pray !) I just gotta figure out that other issue for consistency sake and I'll keep ya posted !!!!!!!!!
01/22/04 28 weeks post op and Life is better than I had ever thought when I started this journey last year. I am at the 6 month mark where things really do slow down -- I only lost a total of 4 lbs in the past 4 week block of time and truthfully that's a little discouraging. BUT I do know that there is no way I am done yet so I just need to be patient and up my protein, water and exercise. My postie friend Rita put those in capital letters to me earlier today and I will definitely work on that to bust through !! I really can't complain though because at 172.5 I am really within 40 lbs of the Ideal weight that we get from the Doctor and realistic weight range is higher at like 150 so I am really, really close and that pleases me like you just can't imagine. These past few days were munchie days with regards to PMS symptoms and living thru those again kinda sucked to put it frankly but it made me realize that I gotta work harder and resist the empty calories. I also need to get back on my zoloft script to help with that wicked pms crap so next month I will be ready !!! I hope everyone is doing well out there in pre-op and postie land and I will keep in touch !!!!!!!!
01/04/04 Happy New Year and Happy New Life !! I decided to add a chart to the top of my page so it may be helpful to see different points of weight loss. Everyone is different but I think I am losing at a comfortable pace with no side effect worries -- thank god ! New Years I weighed myself at 175 which is -88.5 for this girl and I am now comfortable in size 12 dress pants (Briggs fit well) and size 10 petite Lee blue jeans and vary between L or XL tops. I resolved this year to maintain the healthy lifestyle I have so embraced with this life-changing surgery. I have become a gym junkie for sure as I am convinced that is the reason I have shrunk clothing sizes to this point. My dress for my sis' wedding has to be taken in (A LOT !) when she bought it I want to say back in September is was snug in the belly/butt area but NO MORE !! And I went looking for a bra to wear with this dress and that totally sucked not finding one I could even fake it with at Victoria Secret. The dress requires a lower back bra and all that VS has was strapless styles you could lower the backs but DAM I got one side bigger than the other and I felt like I was gonna come right out. I think I will consult with the seamstress about something. But not sure thats an option being a 36D / C cup. What a royal pain for one day's worth of hoopla !!
12/18/03 I was just reading back to my highest weight reference and just realized that back in late Spring I was 278 (my highest ever) and in June finally struggled down to 273 before the final drop for surgery. I am sitting her in total awe because as of this morning I weighed in at 178.5. I have major league goose bumps because I cannot believe it. 100 lb difference total in under 6 months -- I think I should call Santa and tell him I am all set for Christmas because this is the bestest gift I could have ever asked for or expected. Plus I bought size 12 Levis 505 stretch jeans and they fit !!!!To all of you waiting right now IT IS SO WORTH THIS FEELING !! With the weight struggles I have had my entire life this is just REMARKABLE and THANK YOU DR AMERI !!!!!!!!!!
12/13/03 Just updating...5 mo anniversary was Dec 10th and I dropped a few more lbs -82.5 -- I am just about out of the 180's and into size 14 pants. I was this size 15 yrs ago -- imagine going back in time this quickly ! Its so amazing. I ran into my cousin shopping last night and she did a double take as she has not seen me since the surgery. It was pretty cool that she said "oh my god I did not recognize you at first". I am lucky in many ways with no complications to speak of and meeting the most wonderful friends at our support group who really inspire me !! Thank you !
12/01/03 Whoa another month just flew right by. I have been meaning to get my measurements done and tonight I finally did and am so very shocked by it all...at 20 weeks and 4 days I have lost close to 50 inches and lost 79 lbs since surgery. I have lost 8" chest; 12" waist; 10" hips (across the tummy bulge);3" neck; 3/4" wrist(L)& 1" wrist (R); 7" left thigh & 6.5" right thigh and ankles are pretty much the same at like 10" each losing about 1/2". This is truly an amazing experience and I know its gotten alot of not so pretty press lately but I am thrilled that I did it !! Anyone that has any doubts should really keep researching and come to the meetings so that you can see the success stories and feel the support we are here to offer each other. I will keep you posted !!
11/23/03 Wow I cannot believe its been this long since I updated this page. I mean I am on here daily for cryin' out loud. Well its 19 weeks and 3 days postop and down 75 lbs and still happy and thrilled and thankful that I did this !! It is strange to put on size 16 jeans and they are roomy...make way for the 14 rack (yahoooooooo!!) Also on the subject of my mother she did start full brain radiation last week so week 1 is over with 3 more to go. Already her personality is changing between the steroid she has to be on and the side effects with the radiation its been "interesting" at best. I am wishing this time flies because its not a very nice phase. Thank you all again for your prayers -- it means a lot !! Talk to you soon !!
10/26/03 A little OT subject getting me down today. In the early months I wrote about my mom having lung cancer and she has been doing so well with it since her surgery last December. She just had 2 clear CT scans and things were going well until she had eye trouble recently. An MRI was taken this past Friday and they saw a small tumor in her brain. I am sick over it because my Mom was doing so well and we really were hopeful that when the tumor & her left upper lung came out that she would have more time than the average. She did excellent with the chemo&radiation both presurgery and after and the results were magnificent. Now we sit and wait for the information of what they want her to do next for treatment. She was doing chemo this time last year...I am heartbroken for her right now. My sister is getting married in June and she has 2 sweet baby angel granddaughters age 4 and 7 months -- so many things to look forward to !! I just wanted to share with you all ... my friends and ask for your prayers. Thank you !
10/23/03 15 weeker here and 197 by my scale -- started at 263.5 which I weighed on my scale the night before surgery...I am just in awe of loss so far of 66.5 and today I put on a size 16 pair of jeans (WAHOOOOO) they are the Style&Co brand and a gift from my friend Julie -- I can't even believe it how fast the changes come and the fact that its really truly working for the first time in my life. Thank you Dr Ameri for giving me my life back !!
10/16/03 Already mid-month and I just wanted to update -- tomorrow I will be 14 weeks post-op and the scale says I am -62 lbs. The inches are dropping like crazy. I am constantly being complimented which is just an incredible feeling for someone who was barely noticed for most of her adult life. This is such a wonderful gift that I hold very dearly !! I will be in touch later -- off to Vermont with my hubby for the weekend. Bye
10/03/03 Whoa another month just flying by !! I had my checkup with Louise today at 12 weeks (+1 day) post op and very much on target at -57 lbs (according to my scale !!) the Dr's scale is higher. I did my start weight the night before surgery on my scale as a starting point. Louise did the math calculation and I have lost 40% of what I need to so far. I was very impressed with that and even more by the way this surgery has really made a huge difference in day to day life. She asked me if I find I get hungry beyond the 3 meals and I honestly can say I don't think I have had that feeling yet. I still do 1-2 protein drinks per day in addition to 3 meals and occasionally some fruit or nuts as snacks. She told me my ideal weight for my height is 134 which she said is not always a realistic goal. She figures my personal goal around 150-155 and that sounded fair as I don't think I am small framed and I don't ever remember 134 ... wow that's kinda weird !!! Louise was very helpful with my questions and made some things make more sense to me as I am delving into "normal" foods and returning to "life" with a new eating style. I promised to keep to the basic guidelines as I have been and she made me feel much more confident about whats to come and not to worry so much. I of course thanked her again and again because thats just me -- I am so eternally grateful for this surgery and its rewards !! Bye for now !!
9/28/03 Just wanted to check in and update. I am getting into a pretty good routine these days as far as exercise is concerned. I do the circuit wt. machines for 1/2 hr every other day and on the days I am not at the gym I make sure I take a walk. Its tons more than I ever did before and I feel better so it must be right. I am 11 weeks and 3 days post op and have officially dropped from sz 22 down to 18 and tight 16 bottoms. The tops are down from 3x to 2x and rapidly to 1x. I think by the winter I will be an XL if I can get used to the fact that they are shorter in length than the plus size tops. Its hard to shop (wicked bummer !!! hahaha) because you can only get 1 or 2 things at a time because things are changin' !!! I have been pleading for some hand me downs and that has helped a lot. I weighed this morning -54 lbs. I think I am right on track but there are times I wonder as I am sure we all do. I am so THANKFUL I was able to do this as I feel like I am a better and stronger me at 38 than I was 10 yrs ago. Well bye for now my friends !!
9/14/03 Sorry its been a while. Been trying to get back into the groove of working; cooking dinner every night; having clothes ready for work and getting to the gym. Its a full schedule for me thats for sure. Things at work are wicked hectic and I did have 2 tummy episodes since I have been back. The one I described already with the broccoli but the 2nd one was a lunch coldcut roll-up that included deli roast beef and I hiccupped like crazy after returning to my desk and ran quite a few times to the bathroom with the foaming and did spit up (YUCK!) then all of a sudden I was fine. But the weird part was that the foaming did not start until like an hour after I finished. I guess its true that its a learning experience. Thank goodness I have been fine since and amazingly enough I finally dropped some more lbs .... I am now down 48 1/2 lbs at 9 weeks and 3 days postop. This weekend I had my 4 yr old niece overnight and we had dinner at her favorite place, Bertucci's and I had a small bit of anxiety about what to have to eat. I ended up with a cup of minestrone and SHE ate more than me...too funny but it still is a little intimidating in the restaurant scene when they don't have too much on the appetizer menu that you can eat. Hopefully as time goes on that will get easier considering I am doing pretty well with food. I should get going and finish organizing my clothes for the next few days...Oh and I have to remember to do some measurements too this week. BYE ~~
9/5/03 Oh my its another NEW month just flying by and my friends are all coming up on the surgery schedule so fast. I wish you all the best. I have had yet again a weird experience that I think I should share. Today I am 8 weeks and one day post op and loss of 43 lbs. I have been introducing new foods this week and had a bit of a problem with steamed broccoli. I had it one night and then in a pasta dish the next night and WHOA NELLY my lower tummy was so pressurized I was like UGH and took the gas-x that is recommended on our handouts. Thought I was fine until my pouch was way grumpy Thursday morning with water. I actually felt like I had stuff in my pouch still and felt very umcomfortable. Made the call to Dr A's office and spoke to another woman who answered the phone and she concurred that it was likely the broccoli. When I explained about the lower tummy bloaty pressure thing I realized I had not gone potty in a day or two. I ended up leaving work early due to the discomfort; did a suppository and felt better pressure wise and then later because tummy was still sour with just drinking water I took some milk of magnesia. At dinner I had hot broth and that did not sit well. Had grumbly tummy and was in the bathroom and then shortly from there the pain in my mid abdomen started. I think my fears accelerated my concept of the pain as I was trying to lay on my side to relieve the pain. I kept saying " is this an emergency" and was almost dialing the phone when it changed and not as painful. So then I was like okay its "gas" and that would have been so perfect to be in the ER for that (hahaha) ! I said I will lay down to sleep and if I can't do that then its an emergency. Slept the night but wicked sore this morning and I was like I have to call. Linda explained to me about the food not agreeing with me and how that can happen. She advised liquids again to get it to calm down and if it worsened today to call her. I did my liquids all day and for dinner a while ago I had about 2 tbsp of oatmeal and I feel okay. Still not the best but not like last night. I guess its so long to broccoli for a while !! Funny how that topic has not made it to group yet ???? I hope everyone has a great weekend and I am looking forward to our meeting Tuesday !!
8/29/03 Day off and moving slowly. First week back to work was tiring and today I slept in a little. Cleaned out tons of clothes I will not need last night and that felt so liberating ! Just made me realize how incredible things are and will be...Heard back from Dr that kidney CT scan was normal (no stones and no damage noted) Thank goodness but it still leaves that back pain that is almost subsided (2 full weeks) a regular old mystery !! The lab test results have not been called in to me yet but I already know I have a repeat urinalysis in 4 weeks on the schedule to watch for anything else. Sometimes it feels like I never get a real answer when things like this happen to me and it really bugs me. Years ago when I had the UTI go haywire and ended up in ER they never gave me a diagnosis on that other than blaming a UTI I had several weeks before. Makes a person wonder, really ! Anyways I plan on having a nice relaxing weekend doing some early fall cleaning in the ol' closets and sitting on the patio for the end of this summer (boohoo!) Bye for now ! p.s. 7 weeks and 1 day post op and minus 42 lbs ;) yippee
8/26/03 Today was progress. 2nd day back at work and not as tired at end of day as I was on day 1. I am just eating breakfast,lunch & dinner despite the office eating that's been going on around me. Just not hungry !!! So medically today I did get Dr Ameri's input on the labs they did a week ago and he concurred with following up about kidney stones. He told me the dehydration was a concern but something I could easily remedy and I already think I have done just that. Had a repeat urine test done at lab and then a renal CT scan so hopefully tomorrow or Thu I will have a better idea of what's happening. I was just thinking that with my track record the test will probably be normal and I will be left wondering what the hell this dam pain in my back really was and is ! I tell ya it just does not feel like a structural or muscle back ache like I have had a million times in my life before and why would it act up now with 6 weeks behind me. Again I will sit and wait and float myself with water, water, water !!!
8/24/03 Well my time home is officially over with return to work tomorrow...I am dreading it ! This rest has been wonderful and I feel in control of my life. I am afraid once I get back to the chaos of my workplace that I will let things slide with regards to my eating plan & water requirements. Things get kinda crazy and I think my best attack will be to have a checklist so I can keep track of water and I will pack my food everyday. I am really kinda nervous over this. Work was a place of stress eating and junk food for me prior to surgery so I am sure my concerns are normal. I have to say my last week home was rather crappy. I was told Monday I have a UTI and get this awful liquid antiobiotic to take and then on Friday when not really feeling like I made improvements I went back to primary and find out it was not a UTI afterall according to the culture. I was so frustrated in this appt. more than I ever have been in my life. The NP just wanted to attribute my back pain to BACK PAIN and I am like I know what a former back ache felt like and this does not feel the same. I made her go thru the culture information with me and she did say that my ketones were high and said dehydration but then again that could be because I am post-op gastric bypass. I pressed that issue that maybe I should be contacting Dr A about it and she re-tested and the number did drop a digit. She tells me she will fax over to Louise so I called Louise and left message to look for them and to let me know her thoughts. At the end of the day Louise called for me and said they did not get anything and asked me how I was feeling. She reiterated the water increase and suggested gatorade and to check back if anything got worse over the weekend. The increased fluids seem to be making things a little better but I still have back discomfort. I will check in tomorrow for sure but I have to say I have felt great all along until this last week and with no temp and no other symptoms its wicked frustrating !! Well I am off to try and get some joy out of my last day home but dam I can't believe its noon already. Also, yesterday weighed in at -40 lbs (yipppeeeeeeee) Bye
8/19/03 Whew yesterday I filled in at work before I officially return next Monday and although it was really wonderful to get all kinds of compliments and see everyone it did not take all that long to feel like I never left the madness ! I worked 9-3 and I was beat. Not like ready for a nap but was like "whoa" plus I had this weird back ache come on that morning that I was going to see my primary about at 3:30. Turns out my suspicions were true and I have a UTI. I noticed a couple times last week an ache in my upper back (mid) and just thought it was muscle related and then this back thing happened which I have had the un-pleasant experience of before. It was several years ago that I had a UTI that went haywire and my back went out on me and I was in such pain. It was Easter Sunday morning and I spent most of that day in the ER waiting for them to find out why I had the pain and a high white cell count in my urine. I was thankful to vicodan and cipro then. This time being so newly post-op I have to suffer with Bactrim in liquid suspension and even though they say its cherry flavored; its not fun !! Called Linda at Dr A's office just to report it and she discussed it with Louise and they said the medicine should do the trick but I could get a lot of nausea. So much for my last few days of freedom before work starts -- my back keeps doing spasms so hopefully with another dose tonite tomorrow it will start to feel better. Oh and because of the meds I cannot even sit in the sun -- dam !!!!!!
8/15/03 Okay I have to just say that the "vanity" bug got to me and I joined a tanning salon today...am I a total geek or what I wanted to look all glowing when I went back to work (hahaha) what am I gonna do with me ?
8/13/03 Went to our monthly support meeting tonight--my 1st since surgery and talk about a wonderful feeling. Many I have gotten to know along my journey complimented me and I was just so proud to be a success and perhaps an inspiration. I am very pleased with my progress so far. I was concerned about the aches & pains I have here and there but after what we talked about in the meeting they don't seem like I have to worry about them. I have progressed to the soft phase which I have been eating pureed versions of egg salad, tuna salad and a 1/4 of a hamburger and 1/3 of a sausage and a meatball. Ricotta cheese and cottage cheese and scrambled eggs have all agreed with me so far. The weird thing is that I can probably only eat a tablespoonful or two and I am done. I have had 2 vomiting incidents in my 33 days post-op and they were more like spitting up. Once I drank my protein drink too fast and I think I still had the remnants of 1/4 of a banana in there and then the other night I was eating some baked cauliflower w/sauce like parmigiana and I think I just simply took in too much. Once you spit up you feel wonderful and can move right along. I have been very good about walking and tonight my hubby was asking me before I left so when are you walking ? tonight? and I was like goddam it I wanted to get to the meeting and wear something nicer than the shorts I had on but the dam guilt set in so I strapped on my backpack full of treats for my angelette, Vicki and off I went to the meeting. I was getting steamed as it started to rain a bit but I made it there without incident. Funny how it is when you make someone promise to keep you in line and they do how it ticks you off !! (hahahaahaaa) My friend Vicki was very kind to drive me home and THANK YOU ! I am home this week and next and then its back to prison -- OH I mean work ! This has been great being home and once I got over the food sadness I have been cooking for hubby and he is just tickled...but I am sure once I get back to the JOB I won't have as much creative time (hahahaha) Anyways loved the meeting tonight and meeting some new friends was an added bonus. To my pre-op friends please hang in there --this is definitely worth waiting for OH and by the way my loss is up to 31 lbs !!! YIPEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!
8/09/03 I am officially 4 weeks and 2 days post op and really starting to feel like my old self (only better!) I weighed and measured yesterday and my new loss total is 29 lbs and 16 1/4 inches. This is just an incredible gift!!!!! Some clothes are definitely getting loose and I am noticing the loss in my face like I never have before. I even got some REAL compliments from family yesterday (long story!). My hubby and I went out to dinner tonight to Joe's at the NS mall and the total bill was $13.26 -- I had the soup (1/2 of their cup serving) and hubby had a cheeseburger and believe it or not I was full and was so giggly about the fact that I was such a cheap date !!!
8/01/03 Oh My Gosh its AUGUST ALREADY !! All those months of wishing for July so my surgery would get here and POOF its another month already. I am now 3 weeks and 1 day post op and feeling pretty darn good. I have good evergy levels and no side effects thus far. The only part that is really really difficult is the length of the Liquid phase. I WANT TO CHEW SOMETHING !! I think we just gloss over that part of the food plan but WOW its really tough some days and I crave salty because everything is sweet (s/f items: pudding, jello, popsicles and yogurt and then there's applesauce) Sure the chicken broth is salty but how many times can you have that in a day ? Yes its a tad frustrating but I have to keep telling myself its almost over and then there's the fun stage of the Soft Diet which is what I think of as the experimental phase -- anything in a blender, right ? I also would like to report that I am now down 24 lbs --1 pound away from my first 25 lb block GOAL. Wicked cool !!
7/23/03 Yippee Yahoo !! Official Dr. check up today at 13 days post-op and I am DOWN 18 LBS !!!!!!!!! I am so thankful and told my surgeon so today and he is just awesome. He said he can already see my longer neckline !! I looked at my before picture and the one I took this morning and its TRUE ~ I am still on the liquids for another week or 2 and onto the soft diet. I cannot wait for the transition let me tell ya !!
7/20/03 Officially 10 days since surgery and I am feeling better every day for sure ! I do not have the desire to nap which I thought would happen but I am sleeping like a baby at night. I have been out of the house on a couple of errands over the past couple days and also sitting outside reading in the fresh air. Today, though I really felt the "lonely" part of being such a fresh post-op. Because you are not laying around sick & once people seem to know you are doing okay the calls and visits have lessened from my family which is a little disappointing to me. Also, we were invited to a party today for our friends b-day and I decided not to go (sent my hubby)due to not being ready to face a crowd of people just finding out I had the surgery and a roomful of food I could not eat. I forgot about that part of the initial recovery and today I felt it emotionally. I do realize that by the end of this 6-8 week period when its okay to get back to normal foods I won't feel "uncomfortable" like this. I just did not expect the feelings I got today. Like anything else I suppose it will take time to adjust. I think I was also just a tad depressed that tomorrow is my first official day "home-alone" as my sweet husband is back to work. I am being wicked sappy here I know but honest ! I get to see Dr Ameri on Wed to get my staples out and my first official LOSS for the records. Thanks for listening !!
7/15/03 HOME and loving being here ! Surgery took a little longer than norm at 4 hrs (started 7:30am) due to adhesions from previous surgery years ago. Was very sleepy when I got to my room finally around 3 pm. Throat was very dry and I'm sure that had to do with breathing tube from surgery. Pain was not really defined more like muscle achiness. I was not aware I was supposed to ask for pain med (demerol) that first night as I was so sleepy but because of not knowing I ended up in real pain distress at dawn Friday. I later found out that afternoon that my BP was low as a reaction to the demerol and impeded me from standing. I was the dizzy girl trying to get up once I had the catheter out (that was a weird experience)and did not have real success walking until like 7-8pm that night after they upped my fluids and reduced my pain med dosage. I was the only patient on the floor with a request for my own supply of smelling salts as medical things make me very squeamish. The medical term is "vagal" and the smelling salts (ammonia based inhalant)really helped me to stay alert and not give into the feelings I was getting over the minor pains. The only problem I had was with the lab tech in my room at 5 am Friday morning who was adamant that I should not have those inhalants and I explained I faint being vagal and she was just a thorn in my side. She actually told me she was not comfortable with the inhalant that close to my nostrils and I was like too bad it works for me. She pi**ed me off so bad that when she did finally stick me and got nothing I told her she was NOT doing it again that I wanted another tech later that morning. I had a specific tech I requested and she told me and my nurse that the tech was not going to be in and I knew that was totally wrong because the tech told me that week she would come up to see me. So later that morning my requested tech came up and although she did take some time her care and touch made me calmer and she got it in one try !!! See you really need to stay aware of some things. Other than that lab tech every other staff person I had was awesome and caring. They helped me get up and were patient with my needs. One nurse, Tami told me I was pretty brave because she was terrible as a patient for some of the reasons I was having to the phobia. She's the one who set me up with my own box of inhalants. My friend Lisa was down the hall so we met up often during our stay. We were cleared for sipping water noon Saturday and clear liquids for Sunday after her saw us at 9 am Sunday. He had such a gentle touch with the bandage removal and cleared me for discharge whenever I felt I was ready. He took out the JP drain which was the yuckiest part of the stay. I was cleared to shower and asked if I could do it there and they were more than happy to make that happen for me. I was out by noon and felt so much better once I was dressed to go ! I am pretty mobile and get a little tired in the afternoon. I had visits from Rita who I missed because I was zonked out and Sue and Julie and Kathy checked in on the phone. I am so thankful for all of the support I received from them as it made the journey easier. I think I got everything here with regards to details and if I think of anything else I will update further. Bye for now !!
7/8/03 Wow I can't believe my surgery is the day after tomorrow. I had an awesome 4th of July spending time with family and friends and just relaxing. Today was my last day of work for 6 weeks and I could not wait to get out of there. Tonight was my last pre-op support meeting and it was just incredible. Met up with many of my friends who all gave me hugs and well wishes. My heart is so full from the kindness I received tonight. Sue, Julie, Lisa, Patty, Kathleen, Suzanne, Kim and oh I hope I did not forget anyone, THANK YOU, THANK YOU !!! Tonight my surgeon was talking about how he decided to do this surgery and the things he talked about brought tears to my eyes and made me realize I am so lucky I found him. He made me feel calmer about things and I am grateful beyond words. Thank you to my Angel, Julie who is looking quite fabulous these days I must say. Thank you to all of you who have reached out and wished me well; I am in awe of it all !! I am spending the day tomorrow doing last minute things and packing my bag as my check-in for surgery is 6am on Thursday. Good night all !!
7/1/03 Can you hear my sigh of relief !! Surgeon appt was today and all things are a "go". Met their weight loss requirement and then some --- so proud of my 12-13.6 loss depending on morning wt versus evening wt. My weigh in at the Nutr put me down to 264.6 (from 278) and the scale at Dr A's was 266. I will still take it as I certainly made the changes. Tomorrow is my PAT appt at 9 am and then all the obsessing can relax for the long weekend. My last hurrah !! Dr Ameri was truly wonderful today and he calmed me right down. He genuinely is excited for me and my new life -- I feel so blessed to have found this doctor, really !!! I will keep you updated as the clock is ticking...9 more days.
6/29/03 June is almost over...really amazed at that ! I am 11 days away and today I was getting a little melancholy with my nieces. Amanda is 3 and is just amazing; she is the FIRST in the family and so very sweet and together. Things she says and does sometimes we are just in awe and have said she has been here before. She had her last sleep-over with me before my surgery and I held her a little tighter and kissed her a few times extra just thinking that if something did not go as planned I wanted her to know how special she is to me. Her little sister is 3 1/2 months old and is so cute and plump. She's at that stage where she recognizes you and her toothless smile is just precious. I got to sit with her (just us) and she fell asleep in my arms and just looked like an angel sleeping. I got a little misty when I kissed her on her forehead. I realize what wonderful "gifts" they are to me and how much I want to be there for them for YEARS to come. My prayers tonight will include that request along with others as I get ready for July 10th. Good night !
6/25/03 Yay the rain finally left except now its like a freakin' heatwave. Hubby and I have the A/C's in finally; why do we always wait until we are boiling to do it I just don't understand. Today I had my upper GI and that was not as bad as I thought and I met up with another pre-op in the waiting area. That was a nice surprise ! Then I took my melting self to visit my Mom and got to spend some quality time with her and my 3 yr old niece and then later her mom and her 4 month old sister. It was a really nice day and I was glad to put the chores on hold to have the chance to do it. Life gets so crazy that we really do forget about sitting still and enjoying the moment and thats what I did today. Just 2 more weeks and a day until surgery and I think its starting to hit me with the nerves as I am not able to wind down to go to bed until later at night. Gotta get that fixed so I am fully rested before surgery. I still have some house chores and garden tasks to finish before surgery so I can sit back and take care of "me" post-op and then I am praying to bounce back pretty quickly so I can enjoy most of the time I have off this summer. Its a first for me to actually have more than a few days off in the summer; I want it to be special because I deserve it !! Well I will keep you posted; tomorrow another weigh-in with Nutr and
